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A Book of Burlesques
A Book of Burlesques

Chapter V · Chapter 5

Chapter 5 of A Book of Burlesques is here in full — 494 sentences across 99 reading sections, with audio for every sentence and word.

Cover illustration for A Book of Burlesques
Context Illustration Reading 1/98 · 5 lines
English subtitles · tap any word to listen 1 / 5
If you wish a short cut to a strange organ's standing, study its diseases.
Generally speaking, they are sure indices.
Let us imagine a problem: What is the relative respectability of the hair and the scalp, close neighbors, offspring of the same osseous tissue?
Turn to baldness and dandruff, and you have your answer.
To be bald is no more than a genial jocosity, a harmless foible--but to have dandruff is almost as bad as to have beri-beri.
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AI-generated narration by OpenAI · Slow US English
LEARNER DICTIONARY
Archivist
/ˈɑːrkɪvɪst/
Editorial verification pending

A keeper or guardian of historical records and memories.

A Book of Burlesques

Chapter V · Chapter 5

Chapter 5 of A Book of Burlesques is here in full — 494 sentences across 99 reading sections, with audio for every sentence and word.

Reading 1/98 · 5 reading units · Lines 1–5

Line 1
If you wish a short cut to a strange organ's standing, study its diseases.
Line 2
Generally speaking, they are sure indices.
/ˈdʒenərəli ˈspiːkɪŋ ðeɪ ɑːr ʃʊr ˈɪndɪsiːz/
Line 3
Let us imagine a problem: What is the relative respectability of the hair and the scalp, close neighbors, offspring of the same osseous tissue?
Line 4
Turn to baldness and dandruff, and you have your answer.
/tɜːrn tuː ˈbɔːldnəs ənd ˈdændrəf ənd juː hæv jɔːr ˈænsər/
Line 5
To be bald is no more than a genial jocosity, a harmless foible--but to have dandruff is almost as bad as to have beri-beri.

Learner Dictionary

These definitions explain words found in the current reading and keep every example grounded in its original sentence.

Oxford-style entry order: headword, part of speech, US IPA, concise definition, contextual example, and audio.

baldness noun US /ˈbɔːldnəs/

the condition of having no hair on the top of the head

From this reading “Turn to baldness and dandruff, and you have your answer.”

dandruff noun US /ˈdændrəf/

a condition in which white scales of dead skin are shed by the scalp

From this reading “Turn to baldness and dandruff, and you have your answer.”

diseases noun US /dɪˈziːzəz/

plural of “disease” — an impairment of health or a condition of abnormal functioning

From this reading “If you wish a short cut to a strange organ's standing, study its diseases.”

foible noun US /ˈfɔɪbəl/

a behavioral attribute that is distinctive and peculiar to an individual

From this reading “To be bald is no more than a genial jocosity, a harmless foible--but to have dandruff is almost as bad as to have beri-beri.”

indices noun US /ˈɪndɪsiːz/

plural of “index” — a numerical scale used to compare variables with one another or with some reference number

From this reading “Generally speaking, they are sure indices.”

respectability noun US /riˌspektəˈbɪlɪti/

honorableness by virtue of being respectable and having a good reputation

From this reading “Let us imagine a problem: What is the relative respectability of the hair and the scalp, close neighbors, offspring of the same osseous tissue?”

scalp noun US /skælp/

the skin that covers the top of the head

From this reading “Let us imagine a problem: What is the relative respectability of the hair and the scalp, close neighbors, offspring of the same osseous tissue?”

tissue noun US /ˈtɪsjuː/

part of an organism consisting of an aggregate of cells having a similar structure and function

From this reading “Let us imagine a problem: What is the relative respectability of the hair and the scalp, close neighbors, offspring of the same osseous tissue?”

All words in this reading · 58

Every word in these five lines is listed here, and every one of them can be played on its own.

Dictionary details are shown only when verified; these are not licensed Oxford entries.

adeterminerUS /ə/

used before a singular noun to mean one of a group, when it is not a particular one

From this reading If you wish a short cut to a strange organ's standing, study its diseases.

almostadverbUS /ˈɔːlmoʊst/

(of actions or states) slightly short of or not quite accomplished; all but

From this reading To be bald is no more than a genial jocosity, a harmless foible--but to have dandruff is almost as bad as to have beri-beri.

andconjunctionUS /ənd/

used to join words or parts of a sentence that go together

From this reading Let us imagine a problem: What is the relative respectability of the hair and the scalp, close neighbors, offspring of the same osseous tissue?

answerverbUS /ˈænsər/

react verbally

From this reading Turn to baldness and dandruff, and you have your answer.

areauxiliary verbUS /ɑːr/

the form of “be” used with you, we, they, or a plural noun

From this reading Generally speaking, they are sure indices.

asconjunctionUS /æz/

at the same time that; because; in the way that

From this reading To be bald is no more than a genial jocosity, a harmless foible--but to have dandruff is almost as bad as to have beri-beri.

badadjectiveUS /bæd/

having undesirable or negative qualities

From this reading To be bald is no more than a genial jocosity, a harmless foible--but to have dandruff is almost as bad as to have beri-beri.

baldadjectiveUS /bɔːld/

with no effort to conceal

From this reading To be bald is no more than a genial jocosity, a harmless foible--but to have dandruff is almost as bad as to have beri-beri.

baldnessnounUS /ˈbɔːldnəs/

the condition of having no hair on the top of the head

From this reading Turn to baldness and dandruff, and you have your answer.

beauxiliary verbUS /biː/

used with a past participle to form the passive, or with -ing for continuous tenses

From this reading To be bald is no more than a genial jocosity, a harmless foible--but to have dandruff is almost as bad as to have beri-beri.

beri-beri

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading To be bald is no more than a genial jocosity, a harmless foible--but to have dandruff is almost as bad as to have beri-beri.

butconjunctionUS /bʌt/

used to introduce something that contrasts with what came before

From this reading To be bald is no more than a genial jocosity, a harmless foible--but to have dandruff is almost as bad as to have beri-beri.

closeadjectiveUS /kloʊs/

at or within a short distance in space or time or having elements near each other

From this reading Let us imagine a problem: What is the relative respectability of the hair and the scalp, close neighbors, offspring of the same osseous tissue?

cutverbUS /kʌt/

separate with or as if with an instrument

From this reading If you wish a short cut to a strange organ's standing, study its diseases.

dandruffnounUS /ˈdændrəf/

a condition in which white scales of dead skin are shed by the scalp

From this reading Turn to baldness and dandruff, and you have your answer.

diseasesnounUS /dɪˈziːzəz/

plural of “disease” — an impairment of health or a condition of abnormal functioning

From this reading If you wish a short cut to a strange organ's standing, study its diseases.

foiblenounUS /ˈfɔɪbəl/

a behavioral attribute that is distinctive and peculiar to an individual

From this reading To be bald is no more than a genial jocosity, a harmless foible--but to have dandruff is almost as bad as to have beri-beri.

GenerallyadverbUS /ˈdʒenərəli/

usually; as a rule

From this reading Generally speaking, they are sure indices.

genialadjectiveUS /ˈdʒiːnjəl/

diffusing warmth and friendliness

From this reading To be bald is no more than a genial jocosity, a harmless foible--but to have dandruff is almost as bad as to have beri-beri.

hairnounUS /her/

a covering for the body (or parts of it) consisting of a dense growth of threadlike structures (as on the human head); helps to prevent heat loss

From this reading Let us imagine a problem: What is the relative respectability of the hair and the scalp, close neighbors, offspring of the same osseous tissue?

harmlessadjectiveUS /ˈhɑːrmləs/

not causing or capable of causing harm

From this reading To be bald is no more than a genial jocosity, a harmless foible--but to have dandruff is almost as bad as to have beri-beri.

haveauxiliary verbUS /hæv/

used with a past participle to form the perfect tenses

From this reading Turn to baldness and dandruff, and you have your answer.

IfconjunctionUS /ɪf/

on condition that; in the event that

From this reading If you wish a short cut to a strange organ's standing, study its diseases.

imagineverbUS /ˌɪˈmædʒən/

form a mental image of something that is not present or that is not the case

From this reading Let us imagine a problem: What is the relative respectability of the hair and the scalp, close neighbors, offspring of the same osseous tissue?

indicesnounUS /ˈɪndɪsiːz/

plural of “index” — a numerical scale used to compare variables with one another or with some reference number

From this reading Generally speaking, they are sure indices.

isauxiliary verbUS /ɪz/

the form of “be” used with he, she, it, or a singular noun

From this reading Let us imagine a problem: What is the relative respectability of the hair and the scalp, close neighbors, offspring of the same osseous tissue?

itsdeterminerUS /ɪts/

belonging to the thing or animal already mentioned

From this reading If you wish a short cut to a strange organ's standing, study its diseases.

jocositynoun

fun characterized by humor

From this reading To be bald is no more than a genial jocosity, a harmless foible--but to have dandruff is almost as bad as to have beri-beri.

Letauxiliary verbUS /let/

used to make a suggestion or a command including the speaker

From this reading Let us imagine a problem: What is the relative respectability of the hair and the scalp, close neighbors, offspring of the same osseous tissue?

moreadjectiveUS /mɔːr/

(comparative of “much” used with mass nouns) a quantifier meaning greater in size or amount or extent or degree

From this reading To be bald is no more than a genial jocosity, a harmless foible--but to have dandruff is almost as bad as to have beri-beri.

neighborsnounUS /ˈneɪbərz/

plural of “neighbor” — a person who lives (or is located) near another

From this reading Let us imagine a problem: What is the relative respectability of the hair and the scalp, close neighbors, offspring of the same osseous tissue?

nodeterminerUS /noʊ/

not any; not one

From this reading To be bald is no more than a genial jocosity, a harmless foible--but to have dandruff is almost as bad as to have beri-beri.

ofprepositionUS /ʌv/

belonging to, or connected with, somebody or something

From this reading Let us imagine a problem: What is the relative respectability of the hair and the scalp, close neighbors, offspring of the same osseous tissue?

offspringnounUS /ˈɔːfsprɪŋ/

the immediate descendants of a person

From this reading Let us imagine a problem: What is the relative respectability of the hair and the scalp, close neighbors, offspring of the same osseous tissue?

organ's

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading If you wish a short cut to a strange organ's standing, study its diseases.

osseousadjective

composed of or containing bone

From this reading Let us imagine a problem: What is the relative respectability of the hair and the scalp, close neighbors, offspring of the same osseous tissue?

problemnounUS /ˈprɑːbləm/

a state of difficulty that needs to be resolved

From this reading Let us imagine a problem: What is the relative respectability of the hair and the scalp, close neighbors, offspring of the same osseous tissue?

relativenounUS /ˈrelətɪv/

a person related by blood or marriage

From this reading Let us imagine a problem: What is the relative respectability of the hair and the scalp, close neighbors, offspring of the same osseous tissue?

respectabilitynounUS /riˌspektəˈbɪlɪti/

honorableness by virtue of being respectable and having a good reputation

From this reading Let us imagine a problem: What is the relative respectability of the hair and the scalp, close neighbors, offspring of the same osseous tissue?

sameadjectiveUS /seɪm/

Identical; not different.

From this reading Let us imagine a problem: What is the relative respectability of the hair and the scalp, close neighbors, offspring of the same osseous tissue?

scalpnounUS /skælp/

the skin that covers the top of the head

From this reading Let us imagine a problem: What is the relative respectability of the hair and the scalp, close neighbors, offspring of the same osseous tissue?

shortadjectiveUS /ʃɔːrt/

primarily temporal sense; indicating or being or seeming to be limited in duration

From this reading If you wish a short cut to a strange organ's standing, study its diseases.

speakingnounUS /ˈspiːkɪŋ/

the utterance of intelligible speech

From this reading Generally speaking, they are sure indices.

standingadjectiveUS /ˈstændɪŋ/

having a supporting base

From this reading If you wish a short cut to a strange organ's standing, study its diseases.

strangeadjectiveUS /streɪndʒ/

being definitely out of the ordinary and unexpected; slightly odd or even a bit weird

From this reading If you wish a short cut to a strange organ's standing, study its diseases.

studynounUS /ˈstʌdi/

a detailed critical inspection

From this reading If you wish a short cut to a strange organ's standing, study its diseases.

sureadjectiveUS /ʃʊr/

having or feeling no doubt or uncertainty; confident and assured

From this reading Generally speaking, they are sure indices.

thanconjunctionUS /ðæn/

used to introduce the second part of a comparison

From this reading To be bald is no more than a genial jocosity, a harmless foible--but to have dandruff is almost as bad as to have beri-beri.

thedeterminerUS /ðə/

used before a noun that is already known, already mentioned, or the only one of its kind

From this reading Let us imagine a problem: What is the relative respectability of the hair and the scalp, close neighbors, offspring of the same osseous tissue?

theypronounUS /ðeɪ/

the people, animals, or things already mentioned, as the subject

From this reading Generally speaking, they are sure indices.

tissuenounUS /ˈtɪsjuː/

part of an organism consisting of an aggregate of cells having a similar structure and function

From this reading Let us imagine a problem: What is the relative respectability of the hair and the scalp, close neighbors, offspring of the same osseous tissue?

toparticleUS /tuː/

used before the base form of a verb to make the infinitive

From this reading If you wish a short cut to a strange organ's standing, study its diseases.

TurnverbUS /tɜːrn/

change orientation or direction, also in the abstract sense

From this reading Turn to baldness and dandruff, and you have your answer.

uspronounUS /ʌs/

the speaker and others, as the object of a verb or preposition

From this reading Let us imagine a problem: What is the relative respectability of the hair and the scalp, close neighbors, offspring of the same osseous tissue?

WhatpronounUS /wʌt/

used to ask for information about something

From this reading Let us imagine a problem: What is the relative respectability of the hair and the scalp, close neighbors, offspring of the same osseous tissue?

wishverbUS /wɪʃ/

hope for; have a wish

From this reading If you wish a short cut to a strange organ's standing, study its diseases.

youpronounUS /juː/

the person or people being spoken to

From this reading If you wish a short cut to a strange organ's standing, study its diseases.

yourdeterminerUS /jɔːr/

belonging to the person or people being spoken to

From this reading Turn to baldness and dandruff, and you have your answer.

Chapter 5 of A Book of Burlesques by H. L. (Henry Louis) Mencken holds 494 sentences, grouped into 99 reading sections of at most 5 sentences. The text is the source edition, unabridged, and the chapter records which sentences cover which part of the work so that nothing is dropped. Every word can be tapped for its pronunciation and dictionary entry.

What does chapter 5 of A Book of Burlesques contain?

Chapter 5 holds 494 sentences of A Book of Burlesques, unabridged, divided into 99 reading sections.

This page carries chapter 5 of A Book of Burlesques by H. L. (Henry Louis) Mencken exactly as it stands in the source edition, without abridgement. It runs to 494 sentences, grouped into 99 sections of at most 5 sentences so that a reader can take the chapter in steady, finishable pieces. The chapter also stores a coverage record mapping every one of its sentences to a part of the work, which is how the edition demonstrates that no line was dropped.

How do I study chapter 5 of A Book of Burlesques?

Work through the 99 sections in order, replaying any sentence and tapping unfamiliar words for their entries.

Each of the 99 sections in this chapter is short enough to read once, hear once, and then re-read with the vocabulary in view. Tapping a word plays it alone and opens its dictionary entry with IPA, part of speech and meaning, so the reader is never forced to guess a pronunciation from spelling. Working section by section keeps a long chapter from becoming an undifferentiated wall of text, which is the usual reason a reader abandons a work of this period.

Can chapter 5 be read aloud to me?

Yes — every sentence and every individual word in chapter 5 can be played aloud in United States English.

Audio covers the whole chapter: any sentence can be played, and any single word within it can be played on its own. The voice uses United States English. For a work of this period that matters, because spelling is an unreliable guide to pronunciation for vocabulary that has fallen out of daily use, and a learner who guesses wrong tends to keep the error. Hearing the word in its own sentence, and then alone, settles it.

Questions about reading A Book of Burlesques

Common questions about reading A Book of Burlesques by H. L. (Henry Louis) Mencken on this page, its source edition and its audio.

Is this the complete text of A Book of Burlesques?

Yes. All 2153 sentences of Project Gutenberg eBook #22145 are kept, with a record of which sentences cover which part.

Which edition of A Book of Burlesques is used?

Project Gutenberg eBook #22145, unabridged. The Project Gutenberg header, footer and licence are removed.

How long does A Book of Burlesques take to read?

About 179 minutes of reading across 431 sections of 5 sentences each, at an unhurried pace.

How to read A Book of Burlesques section by section

How to work through A Book of Burlesques section by section, using the audio and the tap-to-define vocabulary.

  1. Open a chapter

    Choose one of the 5 chapters of A Book of Burlesques to begin.

  2. Read one section

    Each section holds 5 sentences; read it once through.

  3. Listen and tap

    Play the section aloud, then tap any unfamiliar word for its entry.

Vocabulary met early in A Book of Burlesques

Words and structures a reader meets early in A Book of Burlesques, each tappable for pronunciation and meaning.

Published
A word that appears in the opening chapter of A Book of Burlesques; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
Borzoi
A word that appears in the opening chapter of A Book of Burlesques; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
Alfred
A word that appears in the opening chapter of A Book of Burlesques; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
Knopf
A word that appears in the opening chapter of A Book of Burlesques; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.