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Funny Epitaphs
Funny Epitaphs

Chapter I

Chapter 1 of Funny Epitaphs is here in full — 340 sentences across 68 reading sections, with audio for every sentence and word.

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Context Illustration Reading 1/68 · 5 lines
English subtitles · tap any word to listen 1 / 5
Funny Epitaphs.
Arthur Wentworth Eaton.
BOSTON: THE MUTUAL BOOK COMPANY.
1902.
_Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.
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LEARNER DICTIONARY
Archivist
/ˈɑːrkɪvɪst/
Editorial verification pending

A keeper or guardian of historical records and memories.

Funny Epitaphs

Chapter I

Chapter 1 of Funny Epitaphs is here in full — 340 sentences across 68 reading sections, with audio for every sentence and word.

Reading 1/68 · 5 reading units · Lines 1–5

Line 1
Funny Epitaphs.
/ˈfʌni ˈepətæfs/
Line 2
Arthur Wentworth Eaton.
Line 3
BOSTON: THE MUTUAL BOOK COMPANY.
/ˈbɑːstən ðə ˈmjuːtʃuːəl bʊk ˈkʌmpəniː/
Line 4
1902.
Line 5
_Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

Learner Dictionary

These definitions explain words found in the current reading and keep every example grounded in its original sentence.

Oxford-style entry order: headword, part of speech, US IPA, concise definition, contextual example, and audio.

Emmet noun US /ˈemɪt/

social insect living in organized colonies; characteristically the males and fertile queen have wings during breeding season; wingless sterile females are the workers

From this reading “_Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.”

epitaph noun US /ˈepətæf/

an inscription on a tombstone or monument in memory of the person buried there

From this reading “_Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.”

epitaphs noun US /ˈepətæfs/

plural of “epitaph” — an inscription on a tombstone or monument in memory of the person buried there

From this reading “Funny Epitaphs.”

fitful adjective US /ˈfɪtfəl/

occurring in spells and often abruptly

From this reading “_Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.”

inscription noun US /ˌɪnˈskrɪpʃən/

letters inscribed (especially words engraved or carved) on something

From this reading “_Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.”

Macbeth noun US /məkˈbeθ/

king of Scotland (died in 1057)

sleeps noun US /sliːps/

plural of “sleep” — a natural and periodic state of rest during which consciousness of the world is suspended

From this reading “_Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.”

worms noun US /wɜːrmz/

plural of “worm” — any of numerous relatively small elongated soft-bodied animals especially of the phyla Annelida and Chaetognatha and Nematoda and Nemertea and Platyhelminthes; also many insect larvae

From this reading “_Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.”

All words in this reading · 65

Every word in these five lines is listed here, and every one of them can be played on its own.

Dictionary details are shown only when verified; these are not licensed Oxford entries.

1902

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading 1902.

ActverbUS /ækt/

perform an action, or work out or perform (an action)

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

AfterprepositionUS /ˈæftər/

later than; following

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

andconjunctionUS /ənd/

used to join words or parts of a sentence that go together

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

ArthurnounUS /ˈɑːrθər/

elected vice president and became 21st President of the United States when Garfield was assassinated (1830-1886)

From this reading Arthur Wentworth Eaton.

beauxiliary verbUS /biː/

used with a past participle to form the passive, or with -ing for continuous tenses

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

believ'd

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

BOOKnounUS /bʊk/

a written work or composition that has been published (printed on pages bound together)

From this reading BOSTON: THE MUTUAL BOOK COMPANY.

BOSTONnounUS /ˈbɑːstən/

state capital and largest city of Massachusetts; a major center for banking and financial services

From this reading BOSTON: THE MUTUAL BOOK COMPANY.

COMPANYnounUS /ˈkʌmpəniː/

an institution created to conduct business

From this reading BOSTON: THE MUTUAL BOOK COMPANY.

DuncannounUS /ˈdʌŋkən/

United States dancer and pioneer of modern dance (1878-1927)

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

Eaton

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading Arthur Wentworth Eaton.

EmmetnounUS /ˈemɪt/

social insect living in organized colonies; characteristically the males and fertile queen have wings during breeding season; wingless sterile females are the workers

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

epitaphnounUS /ˈepətæf/

an inscription on a tombstone or monument in memory of the person buried there

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

EpitaphsnounUS /ˈepətæfs/

plural of “epitaph” — an inscription on a tombstone or monument in memory of the person buried there

From this reading Funny Epitaphs.

fevernounUS /ˈfiːvər/

a rise in the temperature of the body; frequently a symptom of infection

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

fitfuladjectiveUS /ˈfɪtfəl/

occurring in spells and often abruptly

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

FriendnounUS /frend/

a person you know well and regard with affection and trust

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

FunnyadjectiveUS /ˈfʌni/

arousing or provoking laughter

From this reading Funny Epitaphs.

gravenounUS /ɡreɪv/

death of a person

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

gravesnounUS /ɡreɪvz/

English writer known for his interest in mythology and in the classics (1895-1985)

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

griev'd

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

halfadjectiveUS /hæf/

consisting of one of two equivalent parts in value or quantity

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

hepronounUS /hiː/

a man, boy, or male animal already mentioned, as the subject

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

hisdeterminerUS /hɪz/

belonging to a man, boy, or male animal already mentioned

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

I'm

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

IInoun

the cardinal number that is the sum of one and one or a numeral representing this number

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

IIInoun

the cardinal number that is the sum of one and one and one

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

inprepositionUS /ɪn/

inside something, or within a place, period, or state

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

inscriptionnounUS /ˌɪnˈskrɪpʃən/

letters inscribed (especially words engraved or carved) on something

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

isauxiliary verbUS /ɪz/

the form of “be” used with he, she, it, or a singular noun

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

Letauxiliary verbUS /let/

used to make a suggestion or a command including the speaker

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

Let's

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

life'snounUS /laɪfs/

possessive form of “life” — a characteristic state or mode of living

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

MacbethnounUS /məkˈbeθ/

king of Scotland (died in 1057)

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

mannounUS /mæn/

an adult person who is male (as opposed to a woman)

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

MENnounUS /men/

the force of workers available

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

muchadverbUS /mʌtʃ/

to a great degree or extent

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

MUTUALadjectiveUS /ˈmjuːtʃuːəl/

common to or shared by two or more parties

From this reading BOSTON: THE MUTUAL BOOK COMPANY.

mydeterminerUS /maɪ/

belonging to the person speaking

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

neveradverbUS /ˈnevər/

not ever; at no time in the past or future

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

nodeterminerUS /noʊ/

not any; not one

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

ofprepositionUS /ʌv/

belonging to, or connected with, somebody or something

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

ONprepositionUS /ɑːn/

touching and supported by a surface

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

OnepronounUS /wʌn/

used to mean any person in general, including the speaker

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

otheradjectiveUS /ˈʌðər/

not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

readverbUS /red/

interpret something that is written or printed

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

Richard

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

RobertnounUS /ˈrɑːbərt/

United States parliamentary authority and author (in 1876) of Robert's Rules of Order (1837-1923)

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

saidadjectiveUS /sed/

being the one previously mentioned or spoken of

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

ScenenounUS /siːn/

the place where some action occurs

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

sleepsnounUS /sliːps/

plural of “sleep” — a natural and periodic state of rest during which consciousness of the world is suspended

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

SoconjunctionUS /soʊ/

for that reason; with the result that

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

talkverbUS /tɔːk/

exchange thoughts; talk with

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

THEdeterminerUS /ðə/

used before a noun that is already known, already mentioned, or the only one of its kind

From this reading BOSTON: THE MUTUAL BOOK COMPANY.

thereadverbUS /ðer/

in or at that place or location

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

tombnounUS /tuːm/

a place for the burial of a corpse (especially beneath the ground and marked by a tombstone)

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

uponprepositionUS /əˈpɑːn/

a formal word for “on”

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

veryadjectiveUS /ˈveri/

precisely as stated

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

welladverbUS /wel/

(often used as a combining form) in a good or proper or satisfactory manner or to a high standard (“good” is a nonstandard dialectal variant for “well”)

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

Wentworth

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading Arthur Wentworth Eaton.

willmodal verbUS /wɪl/

used to talk about the future, or about willingness

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

wormsnounUS /wɜːrmz/

plural of “worm” — any of numerous relatively small elongated soft-bodied animals especially of the phyla Annelida and Chaetognatha and Nematoda and Nemertea and Platyhelminthes; also many insect larvae

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

writeverbUS /raɪt/

produce a literary work

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

yourdeterminerUS /jɔːr/

belonging to the person or people being spoken to

From this reading _Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs._ --_Richard II, Act III, Scene ii._ _Duncan is in his grave; After life's fitful fever he sleeps well._ --_Macbeth, Act III, Scene ii._ _Let there be no inscription upon my tomb; let no man write my epitaph._ --_Robert Emmet._ _Friend, in your Epitaphs I'm griev'd So very much is said, One half will never be believ'd The other never read._ EPITAPHS ON MEN.

Chapter 1 of Funny Epitaphs by Arthur Wentworth Hamilton [Compiler] Eaton holds 340 sentences, grouped into 68 reading sections of at most 5 sentences. The text is the source edition, unabridged, and the chapter records which sentences cover which part of the work so that nothing is dropped. Every word can be tapped for its pronunciation and dictionary entry.

What does chapter 1 of Funny Epitaphs contain?

Chapter 1 holds 340 sentences of Funny Epitaphs, unabridged, divided into 68 reading sections.

This page carries chapter 1 of Funny Epitaphs by Arthur Wentworth Hamilton [Compiler] Eaton exactly as it stands in the source edition, without abridgement. It runs to 340 sentences, grouped into 68 sections of at most 5 sentences so that a reader can take the chapter in steady, finishable pieces. The chapter also stores a coverage record mapping every one of its sentences to a part of the work, which is how the edition demonstrates that no line was dropped.

How do I study chapter 1 of Funny Epitaphs?

Work through the 68 sections in order, replaying any sentence and tapping unfamiliar words for their entries.

Each of the 68 sections in this chapter is short enough to read once, hear once, and then re-read with the vocabulary in view. Tapping a word plays it alone and opens its dictionary entry with IPA, part of speech and meaning, so the reader is never forced to guess a pronunciation from spelling. Working section by section keeps a long chapter from becoming an undifferentiated wall of text, which is the usual reason a reader abandons a work of this period.

Can chapter 1 be read aloud to me?

Yes — every sentence and every individual word in chapter 1 can be played aloud in United States English.

Audio covers the whole chapter: any sentence can be played, and any single word within it can be played on its own. The voice uses United States English. For a work of this period that matters, because spelling is an unreliable guide to pronunciation for vocabulary that has fallen out of daily use, and a learner who guesses wrong tends to keep the error. Hearing the word in its own sentence, and then alone, settles it.

Questions about reading Funny Epitaphs

Common questions about reading Funny Epitaphs by Arthur Wentworth Hamilton [Compiler] Eaton on this page, its source edition and its audio.

Is this the complete text of Funny Epitaphs?

Yes. All 340 sentences of Project Gutenberg eBook #42634 are kept, with a record of which sentences cover which part.

Which edition of Funny Epitaphs is used?

Project Gutenberg eBook #42634, unabridged. The Project Gutenberg header, footer and licence are removed.

How long does Funny Epitaphs take to read?

About 28 minutes of reading across 68 sections of 5 sentences each, at an unhurried pace.

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How to work through Funny Epitaphs section by section, using the audio and the tap-to-define vocabulary.

  1. Open a chapter

    Choose one of the 1 chapters of Funny Epitaphs to begin.

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    Each section holds 5 sentences; read it once through.

  3. Listen and tap

    Play the section aloud, then tap any unfamiliar word for its entry.

Vocabulary met early in Funny Epitaphs

Words and structures a reader meets early in Funny Epitaphs, each tappable for pronunciation and meaning.

Funny
A word that appears in the opening chapter of Funny Epitaphs; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
Epitaphs
A word that appears in the opening chapter of Funny Epitaphs; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
Arthur
A word that appears in the opening chapter of Funny Epitaphs; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
Wentworth
A word that appears in the opening chapter of Funny Epitaphs; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.