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Mark Twain's Speeches
Mark Twain's Speeches

Chapter XIV · Chapter 14

Chapter 14 of Mark Twain's Speeches is here in full — 173 sentences across 35 reading sections, with audio for every sentence and word.

Cover illustration for Mark Twain's Speeches
Context Illustration Reading 1/34 · 5 lines
English subtitles · tap any word to listen 1 / 5
But look at the pneumatics and the pneumonias and the rest of them.
A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.
Why, there isn't a man who doesn't have to throw out about fifteen hundred words a day when he writes his letters because he can't spell them!
It's like trying to do a St. Vitus's dance with wooden legs.
Now I'll bet there isn't a man here who can spell pterodactyl,” not even the prisoner at the bar.
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LEARNER DICTIONARY
Archivist
/ˈɑːrkɪvɪst/
Editorial verification pending

A keeper or guardian of historical records and memories.

Mark Twain's Speeches

Chapter XIV · Chapter 14

Chapter 14 of Mark Twain's Speeches is here in full — 173 sentences across 35 reading sections, with audio for every sentence and word.

Reading 1/34 · 5 reading units · Lines 1–5

Line 1
But look at thepneumaticsand thepneumoniasand the rest of them.
Line 2
A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.
Line 3
Why, there isn't a man who doesn't have to throw out about fifteen hundred words a day when he writes his letters because he can't spell them!
Line 4
It's like trying to do a St. Vitus's dance with wooden legs.
Line 5
Now I'll bet there isn't a man here who can spellpterodactyl,” not even the prisoner at the bar.

Learner Dictionary

These definitions explain words found in the current reading and keep every example grounded in its original sentence.

Oxford-style entry order: headword, part of speech, US IPA, concise definition, contextual example, and audio.

alphabet noun US /ˈælfəbet/

a character set that includes letters and is used to write a language

From this reading “A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.”

drunken adjective US /ˈdrʌŋkən/

given to or marked by the consumption of alcohol

From this reading “A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.”

invented verb US /ˌɪnˈventəd/

past form of “invent” — come up with (an idea, plan, explanation, theory, or principle) after a mental effort

From this reading “A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.”

pneumatics noun US /nʊˈmætɪks/

the branch of mechanics that deals with the mechanical properties of gases

From this reading “But look at the “pneumatics” and the “pneumonias” and the rest of them.”

reform noun US /rəˈfɔːrm/

a change for the better as a result of correcting abuses

From this reading “A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.”

spell verb US /spel/

orally recite the letters of or give the spelling of

From this reading “A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.”

thief noun US /θiːf/

a criminal who takes property belonging to someone else with the intention of keeping it or selling it

From this reading “A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.”

writes verb US /raɪts/

third-person singular of “write” — produce a literary work

From this reading “Why, there isn't a man who doesn't have to throw out about fifteen hundred words a day when he writes his letters because he can't spell them!”

All words in this reading · 82

Every word in these five lines is listed here, and every one of them can be played on its own.

Dictionary details are shown only when verified; these are not licensed Oxford entries.

AdeterminerUS /ə/

used before a singular noun to mean one of a group, when it is not a particular one

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

aboutprepositionUS /əˈbaʊt/

on the subject of; concerning

From this reading Why, there isn't a man who doesn't have to throw out about fifteen hundred words a day when he writes his letters because he can't spell them!

alladjectiveUS /ɔːl/

(quantifier) used with either mass or count nouns to indicate the whole number or amount of or every one of a class

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

alphabetnounUS /ˈælfəbet/

a character set that includes letters and is used to write a language

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

andeterminerUS /æn/

the form of “a” used before a word that begins with a vowel sound

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

andconjunctionUS /ənd/

used to join words or parts of a sentence that go together

From this reading But look at the “pneumatics” and the “pneumonias” and the rest of them.

atprepositionUS /æt/

in or near a particular place or position

From this reading But look at the “pneumatics” and the “pneumonias” and the rest of them.

barnounUS /bɑːr/

a room or establishment where alcoholic drinks are served over a counter

From this reading Now I'll bet there isn't a man here who can spell “pterodactyl,” not even the prisoner at the bar.

becauseconjunctionUS /bɪˈkɔːz/

for the reason that

From this reading Why, there isn't a man who doesn't have to throw out about fifteen hundred words a day when he writes his letters because he can't spell them!

betverbUS /bet/

maintain with or as if with a bet

From this reading Now I'll bet there isn't a man here who can spell “pterodactyl,” not even the prisoner at the bar.

ButconjunctionUS /bʌt/

used to introduce something that contrasts with what came before

From this reading But look at the “pneumatics” and the “pneumonias” and the rest of them.

byprepositionUS /baɪ/

showing who or what does the action

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

canmodal verbUS /kæn/

to be able to, or to be allowed to

From this reading Now I'll bet there isn't a man here who can spell “pterodactyl,” not even the prisoner at the bar.

can't

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading Why, there isn't a man who doesn't have to throw out about fifteen hundred words a day when he writes his letters because he can't spell them!

dancenounUS /dæns/

an artistic form of nonverbal communication

From this reading It's like trying to do a St. Vitus's dance with wooden legs.

daynounUS /deɪ/

time for Earth to make a complete rotation on its axis

From this reading Why, there isn't a man who doesn't have to throw out about fifteen hundred words a day when he writes his letters because he can't spell them!

doauxiliary verbUS /duː/

used to form questions and negatives, and to give emphasis

From this reading It's like trying to do a St. Vitus's dance with wooden legs.

doesn't

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading Why, there isn't a man who doesn't have to throw out about fifteen hundred words a day when he writes his letters because he can't spell them!

drunkenadjectiveUS /ˈdrʌŋkən/

given to or marked by the consumption of alcohol

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

evenadjectiveUS /ˈiːvɪn/

divisible by two

From this reading Now I'll bet there isn't a man here who can spell “pterodactyl,” not even the prisoner at the bar.

fancynounUS /ˈfænsi/

something many people believe that is false

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

fifteennounUS /fɪfˈtiːn/

the cardinal number that is the sum of fourteen and one

From this reading Why, there isn't a man who doesn't have to throw out about fifteen hundred words a day when he writes his letters because he can't spell them!

forprepositionUS /fɔːr/

intended to be given to, or used by, somebody

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

givingnounUS /ˈɡɪvɪŋ/

the act of giving

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

haveauxiliary verbUS /hæv/

used with a past participle to form the perfect tenses

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

hepronounUS /hiː/

a man, boy, or male animal already mentioned, as the subject

From this reading Why, there isn't a man who doesn't have to throw out about fifteen hundred words a day when he writes his letters because he can't spell them!

hereadverbUS /hiːr/

in or at this place; where the speaker or writer is

From this reading Now I'll bet there isn't a man here who can spell “pterodactyl,” not even the prisoner at the bar.

hisdeterminerUS /hɪz/

belonging to a man, boy, or male animal already mentioned

From this reading Why, there isn't a man who doesn't have to throw out about fifteen hundred words a day when he writes his letters because he can't spell them!

hundrednounUS /ˈhʌndrəd/

ten 10s

From this reading Why, there isn't a man who doesn't have to throw out about fifteen hundred words a day when he writes his letters because he can't spell them!

IpronounUS /aɪ/

the person speaking or writing, as the subject of the verb

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

I'll

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading Now I'll bet there isn't a man here who can spell “pterodactyl,” not even the prisoner at the bar.

insteadadverbUS /ˌɪnˈsted/

in place of, or as an alternative to

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

inventedverbUS /ˌɪnˈventəd/

past form of “invent” — come up with (an idea, plan, explanation, theory, or principle) after a mental effort

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

isn't

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading Why, there isn't a man who doesn't have to throw out about fifteen hundred words a day when he writes his letters because he can't spell them!

It's

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading It's like trying to do a St. Vitus's dance with wooden legs.

legsnounUS /leɡz/

staying power

From this reading It's like trying to do a St. Vitus's dance with wooden legs.

lettersnounUS /ˈletərz/

the literary culture

From this reading Why, there isn't a man who doesn't have to throw out about fifteen hundred words a day when he writes his letters because he can't spell them!

likeverbUS /laɪk/

prefer or wish to do something

From this reading It's like trying to do a St. Vitus's dance with wooden legs.

lookverbUS /lʊk/

perceive with attention; direct one's gaze towards

From this reading But look at the “pneumatics” and the “pneumonias” and the rest of them.

mannounUS /mæn/

an adult person who is male (as opposed to a woman)

From this reading Why, there isn't a man who doesn't have to throw out about fifteen hundred words a day when he writes his letters because he can't spell them!

notadverbUS /nɑːt/

used to make a word, phrase, or sentence negative

From this reading Now I'll bet there isn't a man here who can spell “pterodactyl,” not even the prisoner at the bar.

NowadverbUS /naʊ/

in the historical present; at this point in the narration of a series of past events

From this reading Now I'll bet there isn't a man here who can spell “pterodactyl,” not even the prisoner at the bar.

ofprepositionUS /ʌv/

belonging to, or connected with, somebody or something

From this reading But look at the “pneumatics” and the “pneumonias” and the rest of them.

onceadverbUS /wʌns/

on one occasion

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

outadjectiveUS /aʊt/

not allowed to continue to bat or run

From this reading Why, there isn't a man who doesn't have to throw out about fifteen hundred words a day when he writes his letters because he can't spell them!

pneumaticsnounUS /nʊˈmætɪks/

the branch of mechanics that deals with the mechanical properties of gases

From this reading But look at the “pneumatics” and the “pneumonias” and the rest of them.

pneumonias

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading But look at the “pneumatics” and the “pneumonias” and the rest of them.

presentverbUS /ˈprezənt/

give an exhibition of to an interested audience

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

prisonernounUS /ˈprɪzənər/

a person who is confined; especially a prisoner of war

From this reading Now I'll bet there isn't a man here who can spell “pterodactyl,” not even the prisoner at the bar.

pterodactylnoun

extinct flying reptile

From this reading Now I'll bet there isn't a man here who can spell “pterodactyl,” not even the prisoner at the bar.

realadjectiveUS /riːl/

being or occurring in fact or actuality; having verified existence; not illusory

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

reformnounUS /rəˈfɔːrm/

a change for the better as a result of correcting abuses

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

restverbUS /rest/

not move; be in a resting position

From this reading But look at the “pneumatics” and the “pneumonias” and the rest of them.

settleverbUS /ˈsetəl/

settle into a position, usually on a surface or ground

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

sillyadjectiveUS /ˈsɪli/

ludicrous, foolish

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

spellverbUS /spel/

orally recite the letters of or give the spelling of

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

St

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading It's like trying to do a St. Vitus's dance with wooden legs.

thatconjunctionUS /ðæt/

used to introduce what somebody said, thought, or felt

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

thedeterminerUS /ðə/

used before a noun that is already known, already mentioned, or the only one of its kind

From this reading But look at the “pneumatics” and the “pneumonias” and the rest of them.

thempronounUS /ðem/

the people or things already mentioned, as the object

From this reading But look at the “pneumatics” and the “pneumonias” and the rest of them.

thereadverbUS /ðer/

in or at that place or location

From this reading Why, there isn't a man who doesn't have to throw out about fifteen hundred words a day when he writes his letters because he can't spell them!

thiefnounUS /θiːf/

a criminal who takes property belonging to someone else with the intention of keeping it or selling it

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

thisdeterminerUS /ðɪs/

used for a person or thing that is near, or that has just been mentioned

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

throwverbUS /θroʊ/

propel through the air

From this reading Why, there isn't a man who doesn't have to throw out about fifteen hundred words a day when he writes his letters because he can't spell them!

toparticleUS /tuː/

used before the base form of a verb to make the infinitive

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

tryingadjectiveUS /ˈtraɪɪŋ/

hard to endure

From this reading It's like trying to do a St. Vitus's dance with wooden legs.

upadjectiveUS /ʌp/

being or moving higher in position or greater in some value; being above a former position or level

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

uspronounUS /ʌs/

the speaker and others, as the object of a verb or preposition

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

Vitus's

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading It's like trying to do a St. Vitus's dance with wooden legs.

wasauxiliary verbUS /wɑːz/

the past form of “be” used with I, he, she, it, or a singular noun

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

wepronounUS /wiː/

the speaker together with one or more other people

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

whenconjunctionUS /wen/

at the time that

From this reading Why, there isn't a man who doesn't have to throw out about fifteen hundred words a day when he writes his letters because he can't spell them!

whichpronounUS /wɪtʃ/

used to introduce a clause giving more about a thing just mentioned

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

whopronounUS /huː/

which person or people

From this reading Why, there isn't a man who doesn't have to throw out about fifteen hundred words a day when he writes his letters because he can't spell them!

WhynounUS /waɪ/

the cause or intention underlying an action or situation, especially in the phrase “the whys and wherefores”

From this reading Why, there isn't a man who doesn't have to throw out about fifteen hundred words a day when he writes his letters because he can't spell them!

windnounUS /waɪnd/

air moving (sometimes with considerable force) from an area of high pressure to an area of low pressure

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

withprepositionUS /wɪð/

in the company of; together with

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

woodenadjectiveUS /ˈwʊdən/

made or consisting of (entirely or in part) or employing wood

From this reading It's like trying to do a St. Vitus's dance with wooden legs.

wordsnounUS /wɜːrdz/

the words that are spoken

From this reading Why, there isn't a man who doesn't have to throw out about fifteen hundred words a day when he writes his letters because he can't spell them!

wouldmodal verbUS /wʊd/

used for something imagined, polite, or habitual in the past

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

wouldn't

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading A real reform would settle them once and for all, and wind up by giving us an alphabet that we wouldn't have to spell with at all, instead of this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.

writesverbUS /raɪts/

third-person singular of “write” — produce a literary work

From this reading Why, there isn't a man who doesn't have to throw out about fifteen hundred words a day when he writes his letters because he can't spell them!

Chapter 14 of Mark Twain's Speeches by Mark Twain holds 173 sentences, grouped into 35 reading sections of at most 5 sentences. The text is the public-domain source, unabridged, and the chapter records which sentences cover which part of the work so that nothing is dropped. Every word can be tapped for its pronunciation and dictionary entry.

What does chapter 14 of Mark Twain's Speeches contain?

Chapter 14 holds 173 sentences of Mark Twain's Speeches, unabridged, divided into 35 reading sections.

This page carries chapter 14 of Mark Twain's Speeches by Mark Twain exactly as it stands in the public-domain source edition, without abridgement. It runs to 173 sentences, grouped into 35 sections of at most 5 sentences so that a reader can take the chapter in steady, finishable pieces. The chapter also stores a coverage record mapping every one of its sentences to a part of the work, which is how the edition demonstrates that no line was dropped.

How do I study chapter 14 of Mark Twain's Speeches?

Work through the 35 sections in order, replaying any sentence and tapping unfamiliar words for their entries.

Each of the 35 sections in this chapter is short enough to read once, hear once, and then re-read with the vocabulary in view. Tapping a word plays it alone and opens its dictionary entry with IPA, part of speech and meaning, so the reader is never forced to guess a pronunciation from spelling. Working section by section keeps a long chapter from becoming an undifferentiated wall of text, which is the usual reason a reader abandons a work of this period.

Can chapter 14 be read aloud to me?

Yes — every sentence and every individual word in chapter 14 can be played aloud in United States English.

Audio covers the whole chapter: any sentence can be played, and any single word within it can be played on its own. The voice uses United States English. For a work of this period that matters, because spelling is an unreliable guide to pronunciation for vocabulary that has fallen out of daily use, and a learner who guesses wrong tends to keep the error. Hearing the word in its own sentence, and then alone, settles it.

Questions about reading Mark Twain's Speeches

Common questions about reading Mark Twain's Speeches by Mark Twain on this page, its source edition and its audio.

Is this the complete text of Mark Twain's Speeches?

Yes. All 4769 sentences of Project Gutenberg eBook #3188 are kept, with a record of which sentences cover which part.

Which edition of Mark Twain's Speeches is used?

Project Gutenberg eBook #3188, a public-domain edition. The Project Gutenberg header, footer and licence are removed.

How long does Mark Twain's Speeches take to read?

About 397 minutes of reading across 954 sections of 5 sentences each, at an unhurried pace.

How to read Mark Twain's Speeches section by section

How to work through Mark Twain's Speeches section by section, using the audio and the tap-to-define vocabulary.

  1. Open a chapter

    Choose one of the 28 chapters of Mark Twain's Speeches to begin.

  2. Read one section

    Each section holds 5 sentences; read it once through.

  3. Listen and tap

    Play the section aloud, then tap any unfamiliar word for its entry.

Vocabulary met early in Mark Twain's Speeches

Words and structures a reader meets early in Mark Twain's Speeches, each tappable for pronunciation and meaning.

Dress
A word that appears in the opening chapter of Mark Twain's Speeches; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
Reform
A word that appears in the opening chapter of Mark Twain's Speeches; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
Copyright
A word that appears in the opening chapter of Mark Twain's Speeches; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
College
A word that appears in the opening chapter of Mark Twain's Speeches; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.