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School-Room Humour
School-Room Humour

Chapter V

Chapter 5 of School-Room Humour is here in full — 101 sentences across 21 reading sections, with audio for every sentence and word.

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Context Illustration Reading 1/20 · 5 lines
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THE RELIGIOUS DIFFICULTY.
TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.
But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.
In the classification of my budget of anecdotes I find I have an abundant selection of those which have arisen in connection with the daily Scripture lesson; and, as I have already said, they represent the richest harvest of all.
The reasons for this I have endeavoured to set forth.
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LEARNER DICTIONARY
Archivist
/ˈɑːrkɪvɪst/
Editorial verification pending

A keeper or guardian of historical records and memories.

School-Room Humour

Chapter V

Chapter 5 of School-Room Humour is here in full — 101 sentences across 21 reading sections, with audio for every sentence and word.

Reading 1/20 · 5 reading units · Lines 1–5

Line 1
THE RELIGIOUS DIFFICULTY.
/ðə rɪˈlɪdʒəs ˈdɪfəkəlti/
Line 2
TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.
/ˈtiːtʃər ɑːn wʌt əˈkeɪʒən dɪd ˈaʊər lɔːrd juːs ðə wɜːrdz wɪð ɡɑːd ɔːl θɪŋz ɑːr ˈpɑːsəbəl smɔːl tʃaɪld tuː ðə ˈwʊmən huː hæd ˈsevən ˈhʌzbəndz ɪt wʊd biː ə riːl ˈnɑːvəlti tuː raɪt ə bʊk ˈhævɪŋ ˈiːvɪn ðə moʊst rɪˈmoʊt ˈrefərəns tuː ˌedʒəˈkeɪʃən wɪˈθaʊt ˈbrɪŋɪŋ ðɪs ɪn/
Line 3
But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.
Line 4
In the classification of my budget of anecdotes I find I have an abundant selection of those which have arisen in connection with the daily Scripture lesson; and, as I have already said, they represent the richest harvest of all.
/ɪn ðə ˌklæsəfəˈkeɪʃən ʌv maɪ ˈbʌdʒɪt ʌv ˈænəkdoʊts aɪ faɪnd aɪ hæv æn əˈbʌndənt səˈlekʃən ʌv ðoʊz wɪtʃ hæv ərˈɪzən ɪn kəˈnekʃən wɪð ðə ˈdeɪli ˈskrɪptʃər ˈlesən ənd æz aɪ hæv ɔːlˈredi sed ðeɪ ˌreprɪˈzent ðə ˈrɪtʃəst ˈhɑːrvəst ʌv ɔːl/
Line 5
The reasons for this I have endeavoured to set forth.

Learner Dictionary

These definitions explain words found in the current reading and keep every example grounded in its original sentence.

Oxford-style entry order: headword, part of speech, US IPA, concise definition, contextual example, and audio.

anecdotes noun US /ˈænəkdoʊts/

plural of “anecdote” — short account of an incident (especially a biographical one)

From this reading “In the classification of my budget of anecdotes I find I have an abundant selection of those which have arisen in connection with the daily Scripture lesson; and, as I have already said, they represent the richest harvest of all.”

arisen verb US /ərˈɪzən/

inflected form of “arise” — come into existence; take on form or shape

From this reading “In the classification of my budget of anecdotes I find I have an abundant selection of those which have arisen in connection with the daily Scripture lesson; and, as I have already said, they represent the richest harvest of all.”

budget noun US /ˈbʌdʒɪt/

a sum of money allocated for a particular purpose

From this reading “In the classification of my budget of anecdotes I find I have an abundant selection of those which have arisen in connection with the daily Scripture lesson; and, as I have already said, they represent the richest harvest of all.”

classification noun US /ˌklæsəfəˈkeɪʃən/

the act of distributing things into classes or categories of the same type

From this reading “In the classification of my budget of anecdotes I find I have an abundant selection of those which have arisen in connection with the daily Scripture lesson; and, as I have already said, they represent the richest harvest of all.”

headline verb US /ˈhedlaɪn/

publicize widely or highly, as if with a headline

From this reading “But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.”

Scripture noun US /ˈskrɪptʃər/

the sacred writings of the Christian religions

From this reading “In the classification of my budget of anecdotes I find I have an abundant selection of those which have arisen in connection with the daily Scripture lesson; and, as I have already said, they represent the richest harvest of all.”

selection noun US /səˈlekʃən/

the act of choosing or selecting

From this reading “In the classification of my budget of anecdotes I find I have an abundant selection of those which have arisen in connection with the daily Scripture lesson; and, as I have already said, they represent the richest harvest of all.”

terrify verb US /ˈterəfaɪ/

fill with terror; frighten greatly

From this reading “But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.”

Word partnerships in these lines

English keeps certain words together, and knowing the pair is worth more than knowing each word alone. Every partnership below was counted across our whole published library, and earns its place by appearing far more often than two unrelated words of the same frequency would.

Shown as this reading writes them, with the form the library counts, what kind of pairing it is, and how often it occurs.

richest harvest adjective + noun counted as “rich harvest”

In this reading “In the classification of my budget of anecdotes I find I have an abundant selection of those which have arisen in connection with the daily Scripture lesson; and, as I have already said, they represent the richest harvest of all.”

set forth verb + particle

state

In this reading “The reasons for this I have endeavoured to set forth.”

most remote adverb + adjective

In this reading “TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.”

write a book verb + article + noun counted as “write … book”

In this reading “TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.”

without bringing preposition + noun

In this reading “TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.”

in connection preposition + noun

In this reading “In the classification of my budget of anecdotes I find I have an abundant selection of those which have arisen in connection with the daily Scripture lesson; and, as I have already said, they represent the richest harvest of all.”

all things adjective + noun

In this reading “TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.”

SMALL CHILD adjective + noun

In this reading “TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.”

All words in this reading · 103

Every word in these five lines is listed here, and every one of them can be played on its own.

Dictionary details are shown only when verified; these are not licensed Oxford entries.

adeterminerUS /ə/

used before a singular noun to mean one of a group, when it is not a particular one

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

abundantadjectiveUS /əˈbʌndənt/

present in great quantity

From this reading In the classification of my budget of anecdotes I find I have an abundant selection of those which have arisen in connection with the daily Scripture lesson; and, as I have already said, they represent the richest harvest of all.

againadverbUS /əˈɡen/

anew

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

alladjectiveUS /ɔːl/

(quantifier) used with either mass or count nouns to indicate the whole number or amount of or every one of a class

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

alreadyadverbUS /ɔːlˈredi/

prior to a specified or implied time

From this reading In the classification of my budget of anecdotes I find I have an abundant selection of those which have arisen in connection with the daily Scripture lesson; and, as I have already said, they represent the richest harvest of all.

andeterminerUS /æn/

the form of “a” used before a word that begins with a vowel sound

From this reading In the classification of my budget of anecdotes I find I have an abundant selection of those which have arisen in connection with the daily Scripture lesson; and, as I have already said, they represent the richest harvest of all.

andconjunctionUS /ənd/

used to join words or parts of a sentence that go together

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

anecdotesnounUS /ˈænəkdoʊts/

plural of “anecdote” — short account of an incident (especially a biographical one)

From this reading In the classification of my budget of anecdotes I find I have an abundant selection of those which have arisen in connection with the daily Scripture lesson; and, as I have already said, they represent the richest harvest of all.

apparentlyadverbUS /əˈperəntli/

from appearances alone

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

apprehensionnounUS /ˌæprɪˈhenʃən/

fearful expectation or anticipation

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

areauxiliary verbUS /ɑːr/

the form of “be” used with you, we, they, or a plural noun

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

arisenverbUS /ərˈɪzən/

inflected form of “arise” — come into existence; take on form or shape

From this reading In the classification of my budget of anecdotes I find I have an abundant selection of those which have arisen in connection with the daily Scripture lesson; and, as I have already said, they represent the richest harvest of all.

asconjunctionUS /æz/

at the same time that; because; in the way that

From this reading In the classification of my budget of anecdotes I find I have an abundant selection of those which have arisen in connection with the daily Scripture lesson; and, as I have already said, they represent the richest harvest of all.

beauxiliary verbUS /biː/

used with a past participle to form the passive, or with -ing for continuous tenses

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

bitteradjectiveUS /ˈbɪtər/

marked by strong resentment or cynicism

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

booknounUS /bʊk/

a written work or composition that has been published (printed on pages bound together)

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

bringingnounUS /ˈbrɪŋɪŋ/

the act of delivering or distributing something (as goods or mail)

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

budgetnounUS /ˈbʌdʒɪt/

a sum of money allocated for a particular purpose

From this reading In the classification of my budget of anecdotes I find I have an abundant selection of those which have arisen in connection with the daily Scripture lesson; and, as I have already said, they represent the richest harvest of all.

ButconjunctionUS /bʌt/

used to introduce something that contrasts with what came before

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

CHILDnounUS /tʃaɪld/

a young person of either sex

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

classificationnounUS /ˌklæsəfəˈkeɪʃən/

the act of distributing things into classes or categories of the same type

From this reading In the classification of my budget of anecdotes I find I have an abundant selection of those which have arisen in connection with the daily Scripture lesson; and, as I have already said, they represent the richest harvest of all.

connectionnounUS /kəˈnekʃən/

a relation between things or events (as in the case of one causing the other or sharing features with it)

From this reading In the classification of my budget of anecdotes I find I have an abundant selection of those which have arisen in connection with the daily Scripture lesson; and, as I have already said, they represent the richest harvest of all.

dailyadverbUS /ˈdeɪli/

every day; without missing a day

From this reading In the classification of my budget of anecdotes I find I have an abundant selection of those which have arisen in connection with the daily Scripture lesson; and, as I have already said, they represent the richest harvest of all.

didauxiliary verbUS /dɪd/

the past form of “do”, used in questions and negatives

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

DIFFICULTYnounUS /ˈdɪfəkəlti/

an effort that is inconvenient

From this reading THE RELIGIOUS DIFFICULTY.

educationnounUS /ˌedʒəˈkeɪʃən/

the activities of educating or instructing; activities that impart knowledge or skill

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

endeavoured

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading The reasons for this I have endeavoured to set forth.

evenadjectiveUS /ˈiːvɪn/

divisible by two

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

fearfuladjectiveUS /ˈfɪrfəl/

experiencing or showing fear

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

findverbUS /faɪnd/

come upon, as if by accident; meet with

From this reading In the classification of my budget of anecdotes I find I have an abundant selection of those which have arisen in connection with the daily Scripture lesson; and, as I have already said, they represent the richest harvest of all.

forprepositionUS /fɔːr/

intended to be given to, or used by, somebody

From this reading The reasons for this I have endeavoured to set forth.

forthadverbUS /fɔːrθ/

from a particular thing or place or position (“forth” is obsolete)

From this reading The reasons for this I have endeavoured to set forth.

GodnounUS /ɡɑːd/

the supernatural being conceived as the perfect and omnipotent and omniscient originator and ruler of the universe; the object of worship in monotheistic religions

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

hadauxiliary verbUS /hæd/

the past form of “have”, used to form the past perfect

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

harvestnounUS /ˈhɑːrvəst/

the yield from plants in a single growing season

From this reading In the classification of my budget of anecdotes I find I have an abundant selection of those which have arisen in connection with the daily Scripture lesson; and, as I have already said, they represent the richest harvest of all.

hastenverbUS /ˈheɪsən/

act or move at high speed

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

haveauxiliary verbUS /hæv/

used with a past participle to form the perfect tenses

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

havingauxiliary verbUS /ˈhævɪŋ/

the -ing form of “have”

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

headlineverbUS /ˈhedlaɪn/

publicize widely or highly, as if with a headline

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

husbandsnounUS /ˈhʌzbəndz/

plural of “husband” — a married man; a woman's partner in marriage

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

IpronounUS /aɪ/

the person speaking or writing, as the subject of the verb

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

inprepositionUS /ɪn/

inside something, or within a place, period, or state

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

intentionnounUS /ˌɪnˈtentʃən/

an anticipated outcome that is intended or that guides your planned actions

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

intoprepositionUS /ˈɪntuː/

moving to the inside of something

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

isauxiliary verbUS /ɪz/

the form of “be” used with he, she, it, or a singular noun

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

ItpronounUS /ɪt/

a thing, animal, or idea already mentioned

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

lessonnounUS /ˈlesən/

a unit of instruction

From this reading In the classification of my budget of anecdotes I find I have an abundant selection of those which have arisen in connection with the daily Scripture lesson; and, as I have already said, they represent the richest harvest of all.

lestconjunctionUS /lest/

in order that something should not happen

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

letauxiliary verbUS /let/

used to make a suggestion or a command including the speaker

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

LordnounUS /lɔːrd/

terms referring to the Judeo-Christian God

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

maleficentadjective

harmful or evil in intent or effect

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

mepronounUS /miː/

the person speaking, as the object of a verb or preposition

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

mostadverbUS /moʊst/

used to form the superlative

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

mydeterminerUS /maɪ/

belonging to the person speaking

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

never-ebbing

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

nodeterminerUS /noʊ/

not any; not one

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

noveltynounUS /ˈnɑːvəlti/

originality by virtue of being refreshingly novel

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

occasionnounUS /əˈkeɪʒən/

an event that occurs at a critical time

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

ofprepositionUS /ʌv/

belonging to, or connected with, somebody or something

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

OnprepositionUS /ɑːn/

touching and supported by a surface

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

onceadverbUS /wʌns/

on one occasion

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

OurdeterminerUS /ˈaʊər/

belonging to the speaker and others

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

plungeverbUS /plʌndʒ/

thrust or throw into

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

possibleadjectiveUS /ˈpɑːsəbəl/

capable of happening or existing

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

purposenounUS /ˈpɜːrpəs/

an anticipated outcome that is intended or that guides your planned actions

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

readernounUS /ˈriːdər/

a person who enjoys reading

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

realadjectiveUS /riːl/

being or occurring in fact or actuality; having verified existence; not illusory

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

reasonsnounUS /ˈriːzənz/

plural of “reason” — a rational motive for a belief or action

From this reading The reasons for this I have endeavoured to set forth.

referencenounUS /ˈrefərəns/

a remark that calls attention to something or someone

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

RELIGIOUSadjectiveUS /rɪˈlɪdʒəs/

concerned with sacred matters or religion or the church

From this reading THE RELIGIOUS DIFFICULTY.

remoteadjectiveUS /rɪˈmoʊt/

located far away spatially

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

representverbUS /ˌreprɪˈzent/

take the place of or be parallel or equivalent to

From this reading In the classification of my budget of anecdotes I find I have an abundant selection of those which have arisen in connection with the daily Scripture lesson; and, as I have already said, they represent the richest harvest of all.

richestadjectiveUS /ˈrɪtʃəst/

superlative of “rich” — possessing material wealth

From this reading In the classification of my budget of anecdotes I find I have an abundant selection of those which have arisen in connection with the daily Scripture lesson; and, as I have already said, they represent the richest harvest of all.

saidadjectiveUS /sed/

being the one previously mentioned or spoken of

From this reading In the classification of my budget of anecdotes I find I have an abundant selection of those which have arisen in connection with the daily Scripture lesson; and, as I have already said, they represent the richest harvest of all.

sayverbUS /seɪ/

express in words

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

ScripturenounUS /ˈskrɪptʃər/

the sacred writings of the Christian religions

From this reading In the classification of my budget of anecdotes I find I have an abundant selection of those which have arisen in connection with the daily Scripture lesson; and, as I have already said, they represent the richest harvest of all.

selectionnounUS /səˈlekʃən/

the act of choosing or selecting

From this reading In the classification of my budget of anecdotes I find I have an abundant selection of those which have arisen in connection with the daily Scripture lesson; and, as I have already said, they represent the richest harvest of all.

setverbUS /set/

put into a certain place or abstract location

From this reading The reasons for this I have endeavoured to set forth.

sevennounUS /ˈsevən/

the cardinal number that is the sum of six and one

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

shouldmodal verbUS /ʃʊd/

used to say what is right, expected, or advisable

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

SMALLadjectiveUS /smɔːl/

limited or below average in number or quantity or magnitude or extent

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

strifenounUS /straɪf/

lack of agreement or harmony

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

suchdeterminerUS /sʌtʃ/

of the kind already mentioned

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

TEACHERnounUS /ˈtiːtʃər/

a person whose occupation is teaching

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

terrifyverbUS /ˈterəfaɪ/

fill with terror; frighten greatly

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

thatconjunctionUS /ðæt/

used to introduce what somebody said, thought, or felt

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

THEdeterminerUS /ðə/

used before a noun that is already known, already mentioned, or the only one of its kind

From this reading THE RELIGIOUS DIFFICULTY.

theypronounUS /ðeɪ/

the people, animals, or things already mentioned, as the subject

From this reading In the classification of my budget of anecdotes I find I have an abundant selection of those which have arisen in connection with the daily Scripture lesson; and, as I have already said, they represent the richest harvest of all.

thingsnounUS /θɪŋz/

any movable possession (especially articles of clothing)

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

thisdeterminerUS /ðɪs/

used for a person or thing that is near, or that has just been mentioned

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

thosedeterminerUS /ðoʊz/

the plural of “that”: the people or things further away, or already known

From this reading In the classification of my budget of anecdotes I find I have an abundant selection of those which have arisen in connection with the daily Scripture lesson; and, as I have already said, they represent the richest harvest of all.

ToparticleUS /tuː/

used before the base form of a verb to make the infinitive

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

usenounUS /juːs/

the act of using

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

watersnounUS /ˈwɔːtərz/

United States actress and singer (1896-1977)

From this reading But lest the headline should terrify the reader with the fearful apprehension that it is my purpose to plunge once again into the bitter and apparently never-ebbing waters of religious strife, let me hasten to say that I have no such maleficent intention.

whatpronounUS /wʌt/

used to ask for information about something

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

whichpronounUS /wɪtʃ/

used to introduce a clause giving more about a thing just mentioned

From this reading In the classification of my budget of anecdotes I find I have an abundant selection of those which have arisen in connection with the daily Scripture lesson; and, as I have already said, they represent the richest harvest of all.

whopronounUS /huː/

which person or people

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

WithprepositionUS /wɪð/

in the company of; together with

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

withoutprepositionUS /wɪˈθaʊt/

not having, not using, or not accompanied by

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

womannounUS /ˈwʊmən/

an adult female person (as opposed to a man)

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

wordsnounUS /wɜːrdz/

the words that are spoken

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

wouldmodal verbUS /wʊd/

used for something imagined, polite, or habitual in the past

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

writeverbUS /raɪt/

produce a literary work

From this reading TEACHER: "_On what occasion did Our Lord use the words, 'With God all things are possible'?_" SMALL CHILD: "_To the woman who had seven husbands!_" It would be a real novelty to write a book having even the most remote reference to education without bringing this in.

Chapter 5 of School-Room Humour by T. J. (Thomas James) Macnamara holds 101 sentences, grouped into 21 reading sections of at most 5 sentences. The text is the source edition, unabridged, and the chapter records which sentences cover which part of the work so that nothing is dropped. Every word can be tapped for its pronunciation and dictionary entry.

What does chapter 5 of School-Room Humour contain?

Chapter 5 holds 101 sentences of School-Room Humour, unabridged, divided into 21 reading sections.

This page carries chapter 5 of School-Room Humour by T. J. (Thomas James) Macnamara exactly as it stands in the source edition, without abridgement. It runs to 101 sentences, grouped into 21 sections of at most 5 sentences so that a reader can take the chapter in steady, finishable pieces. The chapter also stores a coverage record mapping every one of its sentences to a part of the work, which is how the edition demonstrates that no line was dropped.

How do I study chapter 5 of School-Room Humour?

Work through the 21 sections in order, replaying any sentence and tapping unfamiliar words for their entries.

Each of the 21 sections in this chapter is short enough to read once, hear once, and then re-read with the vocabulary in view. Tapping a word plays it alone and opens its dictionary entry with IPA, part of speech and meaning, so the reader is never forced to guess a pronunciation from spelling. Working section by section keeps a long chapter from becoming an undifferentiated wall of text, which is the usual reason a reader abandons a work of this period.

Can chapter 5 be read aloud to me?

Yes — every sentence and every individual word in chapter 5 can be played aloud in United States English.

Audio covers the whole chapter: any sentence can be played, and any single word within it can be played on its own. The voice uses United States English. For a work of this period that matters, because spelling is an unreliable guide to pronunciation for vocabulary that has fallen out of daily use, and a learner who guesses wrong tends to keep the error. Hearing the word in its own sentence, and then alone, settles it.

Questions about reading School-Room Humour

Common questions about reading School-Room Humour by T. J. (Thomas James) Macnamara on this page, its source edition and its audio.

Is this the complete text of School-Room Humour?

Yes. All 1371 sentences of Project Gutenberg eBook #40593 are kept, with a record of which sentences cover which part.

Which edition of School-Room Humour is used?

Project Gutenberg eBook #40593, unabridged. The Project Gutenberg header, footer and licence are removed.

How long does School-Room Humour take to read?

About 114 minutes of reading across 275 sections of 5 sentences each, at an unhurried pace.

How to read School-Room Humour section by section

How to work through School-Room Humour section by section, using the audio and the tap-to-define vocabulary.

  1. Open a chapter

    Choose one of the 8 chapters of School-Room Humour to begin.

  2. Read one section

    Each section holds 5 sentences; read it once through.

  3. Listen and tap

    Play the section aloud, then tap any unfamiliar word for its entry.

Vocabulary met early in School-Room Humour

Words and structures a reader meets early in School-Room Humour, each tappable for pronunciation and meaning.

School-room
A word that appears in the opening chapter of School-Room Humour; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
Humour
A word that appears in the opening chapter of School-Room Humour; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
Macnamara
A word that appears in the opening chapter of School-Room Humour; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
Desires
A word that appears in the opening chapter of School-Room Humour; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.