Complete classic literature • Five-line readings • Clear US narration
VELMORA ACADEMY
Academy of Archival Languages & Memory Studies
Menu Close
Scotch Wit and Humor
Scotch Wit and Humor

Chapter VII

Chapter 7 of Scotch Wit and Humor is here in full — 446 sentences across 90 reading sections, with audio for every sentence and word.

Cover illustration for Scotch Wit and Humor
Context Illustration Reading 1/89 · 5 lines
English subtitles · tap any word to listen 1 / 5
They urged, "What gars ye tak' up your bit papers to the pu'pit?"
He replied that it was best, for really he could not remember his sermons, and must have his paper.
"Weel, weel, minister, then dinna expect that _we_ can remember them."
=Mortal Humor= Humor sometimes comes out on the very scaffold.
An old man was once hanged for complicity in a murder.
0:00 / 0:00
Speed 0.75x
AI-generated narration by OpenAI · Slow US English
LEARNER DICTIONARY
Archivist
/ˈɑːrkɪvɪst/
Editorial verification pending

A keeper or guardian of historical records and memories.

Scotch Wit and Humor

Chapter VII

Chapter 7 of Scotch Wit and Humor is here in full — 446 sentences across 90 reading sections, with audio for every sentence and word.

Reading 1/89 · 5 reading units · Lines 1–5

Line 1
They urged, "What gars ye tak' up your bit papers to the pu'pit?"
Line 2
He replied that it was best, for really he could not remember his sermons, and must have his paper.
/hiː rɪˈplaɪd ðæt ɪt wɑːz best fɔːr ˈrɪli hiː kʊd nɑːt rɪˈmɛm.bər hɪz ˈsɜːrmənz ənd mʌst hæv hɪz ˈpeɪpər/
Line 3
"Weel, weel, minister, then dinna expect that _we_ can remember them."
Line 4
=Mortal Humor= Humor sometimes comes out on the very scaffold.
/ˈmɔːrtəl ˈhjuːmər ˈhjuːmər səmˈtaɪmz kʌmz aʊt ɑːn ðə ˈveri ˈskæfəld/
Line 5
An old man was once hanged for complicity in a murder.
/æn oʊld mæn wɑːz wʌns hæŋd fɔːr kəmˈplɪsəti ɪn ə ˈmɜːrdər/

Learner Dictionary

These definitions explain words found in the current reading and keep every example grounded in its original sentence.

Oxford-style entry order: headword, part of speech, US IPA, concise definition, contextual example, and audio.

complicity noun US /kəmˈplɪsəti/

guilt as an accomplice in a crime or offense

From this reading “An old man was once hanged for complicity in a murder.”

gars noun US /ɡɑːrz/

plural of “gar” — primitive predaceous North American fish covered with hard scales and having long jaws with needlelike teeth

From this reading “They urged, "What gars ye tak' up your bit papers to the pu'pit?"”

hanged verb US /hæŋd/

past form of “hang” — be suspended or hanging

From this reading “An old man was once hanged for complicity in a murder.”

Humor noun US /ˈhjuːmər/

a message whose ingenuity or verbal skill or incongruity has the power to evoke laughter

From this reading “=Mortal Humor= Humor sometimes comes out on the very scaffold.”

Mortal adjective US /ˈmɔːrtəl/

subject to death

From this reading “=Mortal Humor= Humor sometimes comes out on the very scaffold.”

scaffold noun US /ˈskæfəld/

a platform from which criminals are executed (hanged or beheaded)

From this reading “=Mortal Humor= Humor sometimes comes out on the very scaffold.”

sermons noun US /ˈsɜːrmənz/

plural of “sermon” — an address of a religious nature (usually delivered during a church service)

From this reading “He replied that it was best, for really he could not remember his sermons, and must have his paper.”

urged verb US /ɜːrdʒd/

past form of “urge” — force or impel in an indicated direction

From this reading “They urged, "What gars ye tak' up your bit papers to the pu'pit?"”

Word partnerships in these lines

English keeps certain words together, and knowing the pair is worth more than knowing each word alone. Every partnership below was counted across our whole published library, and earns its place by appearing far more often than two unrelated words of the same frequency would.

Shown as this reading writes them, with the form the library counts, what kind of pairing it is, and how often it occurs.

old man adjective + noun

a man who is very old

In this reading “An old man was once hanged for complicity in a murder.”

comes out verb + adjective counted as “come out”

appear or become visible; make a showing

In this reading “=Mortal Humor= Humor sometimes comes out on the very scaffold.”

All words in this reading · 55

Every word in these five lines is listed here, and every one of them can be played on its own.

Dictionary details are shown only when verified; these are not licensed Oxford entries.

adeterminerUS /ə/

used before a singular noun to mean one of a group, when it is not a particular one

From this reading An old man was once hanged for complicity in a murder.

AndeterminerUS /æn/

the form of “a” used before a word that begins with a vowel sound

From this reading An old man was once hanged for complicity in a murder.

andconjunctionUS /ənd/

used to join words or parts of a sentence that go together

From this reading He replied that it was best, for really he could not remember his sermons, and must have his paper.

bestnounUS /best/

the supreme effort one can make

From this reading He replied that it was best, for really he could not remember his sermons, and must have his paper.

bitnounUS /bɪt/

a small piece or quantity of something

From this reading They urged, "What gars ye tak' up your bit papers to the pu'pit?"

canmodal verbUS /kæn/

to be able to, or to be allowed to

From this reading "Weel, weel, minister, then dinna expect that _we_ can remember them."

comesnounUS /kʌmz/

plural of “come” — the thick white fluid containing spermatozoa that is ejaculated by the male genital tract

From this reading =Mortal Humor= Humor sometimes comes out on the very scaffold.

complicitynounUS /kəmˈplɪsəti/

guilt as an accomplice in a crime or offense

From this reading An old man was once hanged for complicity in a murder.

couldmodal verbUS /kʊd/

the past of “can”; used for possibility or polite requests

From this reading He replied that it was best, for really he could not remember his sermons, and must have his paper.

dinna

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading "Weel, weel, minister, then dinna expect that _we_ can remember them."

expectverbUS /ɪkˈspekt/

regard something as probable or likely

From this reading "Weel, weel, minister, then dinna expect that _we_ can remember them."

forprepositionUS /fɔːr/

intended to be given to, or used by, somebody

From this reading He replied that it was best, for really he could not remember his sermons, and must have his paper.

garsnounUS /ɡɑːrz/

plural of “gar” — primitive predaceous North American fish covered with hard scales and having long jaws with needlelike teeth

From this reading They urged, "What gars ye tak' up your bit papers to the pu'pit?"

hangedverbUS /hæŋd/

past form of “hang” — be suspended or hanging

From this reading An old man was once hanged for complicity in a murder.

haveauxiliary verbUS /hæv/

used with a past participle to form the perfect tenses

From this reading He replied that it was best, for really he could not remember his sermons, and must have his paper.

HepronounUS /hiː/

a man, boy, or male animal already mentioned, as the subject

From this reading He replied that it was best, for really he could not remember his sermons, and must have his paper.

hisdeterminerUS /hɪz/

belonging to a man, boy, or male animal already mentioned

From this reading He replied that it was best, for really he could not remember his sermons, and must have his paper.

HumornounUS /ˈhjuːmər/

a message whose ingenuity or verbal skill or incongruity has the power to evoke laughter

From this reading =Mortal Humor= Humor sometimes comes out on the very scaffold.

inprepositionUS /ɪn/

inside something, or within a place, period, or state

From this reading An old man was once hanged for complicity in a murder.

itpronounUS /ɪt/

a thing, animal, or idea already mentioned

From this reading He replied that it was best, for really he could not remember his sermons, and must have his paper.

mannounUS /mæn/

an adult person who is male (as opposed to a woman)

From this reading An old man was once hanged for complicity in a murder.

ministernounUS /ˈmɪnəstər/

a person authorized to conduct religious worship

From this reading "Weel, weel, minister, then dinna expect that _we_ can remember them."

MortaladjectiveUS /ˈmɔːrtəl/

subject to death

From this reading =Mortal Humor= Humor sometimes comes out on the very scaffold.

murderverbUS /ˈmɜːrdər/

kill intentionally and with premeditation

From this reading An old man was once hanged for complicity in a murder.

mustmodal verbUS /mʌst/

used to say something is necessary, or almost certainly true

From this reading He replied that it was best, for really he could not remember his sermons, and must have his paper.

notadverbUS /nɑːt/

used to make a word, phrase, or sentence negative

From this reading He replied that it was best, for really he could not remember his sermons, and must have his paper.

oldadjectiveUS /oʊld/

(used especially of persons) having lived for a relatively long time or attained a specific age

From this reading An old man was once hanged for complicity in a murder.

onprepositionUS /ɑːn/

touching and supported by a surface

From this reading =Mortal Humor= Humor sometimes comes out on the very scaffold.

onceadverbUS /wʌns/

on one occasion

From this reading An old man was once hanged for complicity in a murder.

outadjectiveUS /aʊt/

not allowed to continue to bat or run

From this reading =Mortal Humor= Humor sometimes comes out on the very scaffold.

papernounUS /ˈpeɪpər/

a material made of cellulose pulp derived mainly from wood or rags or certain grasses

From this reading He replied that it was best, for really he could not remember his sermons, and must have his paper.

papersnounUS /ˈpeɪpərz/

writing that provides information (especially information of an official nature)

From this reading They urged, "What gars ye tak' up your bit papers to the pu'pit?"

pu'pit

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading They urged, "What gars ye tak' up your bit papers to the pu'pit?"

reallyadverbUS /ˈrɪli/

in accordance with truth or fact or reality

From this reading He replied that it was best, for really he could not remember his sermons, and must have his paper.

rememberverbUS /rɪˈmɛm.bər/

To recall to mind.

From this reading He replied that it was best, for really he could not remember his sermons, and must have his paper.

repliedverbUS /rɪˈplaɪd/

inflected form of “reply” — react verbally

From this reading He replied that it was best, for really he could not remember his sermons, and must have his paper.

scaffoldnounUS /ˈskæfəld/

a platform from which criminals are executed (hanged or beheaded)

From this reading =Mortal Humor= Humor sometimes comes out on the very scaffold.

sermonsnounUS /ˈsɜːrmənz/

plural of “sermon” — an address of a religious nature (usually delivered during a church service)

From this reading He replied that it was best, for really he could not remember his sermons, and must have his paper.

sometimesadverbUS /səmˈtaɪmz/

on certain occasions or in certain cases but not always

From this reading =Mortal Humor= Humor sometimes comes out on the very scaffold.

tak

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading They urged, "What gars ye tak' up your bit papers to the pu'pit?"

thatconjunctionUS /ðæt/

used to introduce what somebody said, thought, or felt

From this reading He replied that it was best, for really he could not remember his sermons, and must have his paper.

thedeterminerUS /ðə/

used before a noun that is already known, already mentioned, or the only one of its kind

From this reading They urged, "What gars ye tak' up your bit papers to the pu'pit?"

thempronounUS /ðem/

the people or things already mentioned, as the object

From this reading "Weel, weel, minister, then dinna expect that _we_ can remember them."

thenadverbUS /ðen/

subsequently or soon afterward (often used as sentence connectors)

From this reading "Weel, weel, minister, then dinna expect that _we_ can remember them."

TheypronounUS /ðeɪ/

the people, animals, or things already mentioned, as the subject

From this reading They urged, "What gars ye tak' up your bit papers to the pu'pit?"

toparticleUS /tuː/

used before the base form of a verb to make the infinitive

From this reading They urged, "What gars ye tak' up your bit papers to the pu'pit?"

upadjectiveUS /ʌp/

being or moving higher in position or greater in some value; being above a former position or level

From this reading They urged, "What gars ye tak' up your bit papers to the pu'pit?"

urgedverbUS /ɜːrdʒd/

past form of “urge” — force or impel in an indicated direction

From this reading They urged, "What gars ye tak' up your bit papers to the pu'pit?"

veryadjectiveUS /ˈveri/

precisely as stated

From this reading =Mortal Humor= Humor sometimes comes out on the very scaffold.

wasauxiliary verbUS /wɑːz/

the past form of “be” used with I, he, she, it, or a singular noun

From this reading He replied that it was best, for really he could not remember his sermons, and must have his paper.

wepronounUS /wiː/

the speaker together with one or more other people

From this reading "Weel, weel, minister, then dinna expect that _we_ can remember them."

Weel

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading "Weel, weel, minister, then dinna expect that _we_ can remember them."

WhatpronounUS /wʌt/

used to ask for information about something

From this reading They urged, "What gars ye tak' up your bit papers to the pu'pit?"

yepronounUS /jiː/

an old word for “you”, speaking to more than one person

From this reading They urged, "What gars ye tak' up your bit papers to the pu'pit?"

yourdeterminerUS /jɔːr/

belonging to the person or people being spoken to

From this reading They urged, "What gars ye tak' up your bit papers to the pu'pit?"

Chapter 7 of Scotch Wit and Humor by W. H. (Walter Henry) Howe holds 446 sentences, grouped into 90 reading sections of at most 5 sentences. The text is the source edition, unabridged, and the chapter records which sentences cover which part of the work so that nothing is dropped. Every word can be tapped for its pronunciation and dictionary entry.

What does chapter 7 of Scotch Wit and Humor contain?

Chapter 7 holds 446 sentences of Scotch Wit and Humor, unabridged, divided into 90 reading sections.

This page carries chapter 7 of Scotch Wit and Humor by W. H. (Walter Henry) Howe exactly as it stands in the source edition, without abridgement. It runs to 446 sentences, grouped into 90 sections of at most 5 sentences so that a reader can take the chapter in steady, finishable pieces. The chapter also stores a coverage record mapping every one of its sentences to a part of the work, which is how the edition demonstrates that no line was dropped.

How do I study chapter 7 of Scotch Wit and Humor?

Work through the 90 sections in order, replaying any sentence and tapping unfamiliar words for their entries.

Each of the 90 sections in this chapter is short enough to read once, hear once, and then re-read with the vocabulary in view. Tapping a word plays it alone and opens its dictionary entry with IPA, part of speech and meaning, so the reader is never forced to guess a pronunciation from spelling. Working section by section keeps a long chapter from becoming an undifferentiated wall of text, which is the usual reason a reader abandons a work of this period.

Can chapter 7 be read aloud to me?

Yes — every sentence and every individual word in chapter 7 can be played aloud in United States English.

Audio covers the whole chapter: any sentence can be played, and any single word within it can be played on its own. The voice uses United States English. For a work of this period that matters, because spelling is an unreliable guide to pronunciation for vocabulary that has fallen out of daily use, and a learner who guesses wrong tends to keep the error. Hearing the word in its own sentence, and then alone, settles it.

Questions about reading Scotch Wit and Humor

Common questions about reading Scotch Wit and Humor by W. H. (Walter Henry) Howe on this page, its source edition and its audio.

Is this the complete text of Scotch Wit and Humor?

Yes. All 3226 sentences of Project Gutenberg eBook #41732 are kept, with a record of which sentences cover which part.

Which edition of Scotch Wit and Humor is used?

Project Gutenberg eBook #41732, unabridged. The Project Gutenberg header, footer and licence are removed.

How long does Scotch Wit and Humor take to read?

About 268 minutes of reading across 646 sections of 5 sentences each, at an unhurried pace.

How to read Scotch Wit and Humor section by section

How to work through Scotch Wit and Humor section by section, using the audio and the tap-to-define vocabulary.

  1. Open a chapter

    Choose one of the 8 chapters of Scotch Wit and Humor to begin.

  2. Read one section

    Each section holds 5 sentences; read it once through.

  3. Listen and tap

    Play the section aloud, then tap any unfamiliar word for its entry.

Vocabulary met early in Scotch Wit and Humor

Words and structures a reader meets early in Scotch Wit and Humor, each tappable for pronunciation and meaning.

Classified
A word that appears in the opening chapter of Scotch Wit and Humor; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
Under
A word that appears in the opening chapter of Scotch Wit and Humor; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
Appropriate
A word that appears in the opening chapter of Scotch Wit and Humor; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
Subject
A word that appears in the opening chapter of Scotch Wit and Humor; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.