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Stories of Comedy
Stories of Comedy

Chapter V · Chapter 5

Chapter 5 of Stories of Comedy is here in full — 432 sentences across 87 reading sections, with audio for every sentence and word.

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Context Illustration Reading 1/86 · 5 lines
English subtitles · tap any word to listen 1 / 5
"Is it me?" says his Riv'rence; "why what would your Holiness be at, at all?
Sure I wasn't doing no such thing."
"Would you have me doubt the evidence ov my sinses?" says the Pope; "would you have me doubt the testimony of my eyes and ears?" says he.
"Indeed I would so," says his Riv'rence, "if they pretend to have informed your Holiness ov any sich foolishness."
"Why," says the Pope, "I've seen you afther kissing Eliza as plain as I see the nose on your face; I heard the smack you gave her as plain as ever I heard thundher."
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AI-generated narration by OpenAI · Slow US English
LEARNER DICTIONARY
Archivist
/ˈɑːrkɪvɪst/
Editorial verification pending

A keeper or guardian of historical records and memories.

Stories of Comedy

Chapter V · Chapter 5

Chapter 5 of Stories of Comedy is here in full — 432 sentences across 87 reading sections, with audio for every sentence and word.

Reading 1/86 · 5 reading units · Lines 1–5

Line 1
"Is it me?" says his Riv'rence; "why what would your Holiness be at, at all?
Line 2
Sure I wasn't doing no such thing."
Line 3
"Would you have me doubt the evidence ov my sinses?" says the Pope; "would you have me doubt the testimony of my eyes and ears?" says he.
Line 4
"Indeed I would so," says his Riv'rence, "if they pretend to have informed your Holiness ov any sich foolishness."
Line 5
"Why," says the Pope, "I've seen you afther kissing Eliza as plain as I see the nose on your face; I heard the smack you gave her as plain as ever I heard thundher."

Learner Dictionary

These definitions explain words found in the current reading and keep every example grounded in its original sentence.

Oxford-style entry order: headword, part of speech, US IPA, concise definition, contextual example, and audio.

foolishness noun US /ˈfuːlɪʃnəs/

the trait of acting stupidly or rashly

From this reading “"Indeed I would so," says his Riv'rence, "if they pretend to have informed your Holiness ov any sich foolishness."”

Holiness noun US /ˈhoʊlinəs/

the quality of being holy

From this reading “"Is it me?" says his Riv'rence; "why what would your Holiness be at, at all?”

informed adjective US /ˌɪnˈfɔːrmd/

having much knowledge or education

From this reading “"Indeed I would so," says his Riv'rence, "if they pretend to have informed your Holiness ov any sich foolishness."”

kissing noun US /ˈkɪsɪŋ/

affectionate play (or foreplay without contact with the genital organs)

From this reading “"Why," says the Pope, "I've seen you afther kissing Eliza as plain as I see the nose on your face; I heard the smack you gave her as plain as ever I heard thundher."”

Pope noun US /poʊp/

the head of the Roman Catholic Church

From this reading “"Would you have me doubt the evidence ov my sinses?" says the Pope; "would you have me doubt the testimony of my eyes and ears?" says he.”

pretend verb US /priˈtend/

make believe with the intent to deceive

From this reading “"Indeed I would so," says his Riv'rence, "if they pretend to have informed your Holiness ov any sich foolishness."”

smack verb US /smæk/

deliver a hard blow to

From this reading “"Why," says the Pope, "I've seen you afther kissing Eliza as plain as I see the nose on your face; I heard the smack you gave her as plain as ever I heard thundher."”

testimony noun US /ˈtestəmoʊni/

a solemn statement made under oath

From this reading “"Would you have me doubt the evidence ov my sinses?" says the Pope; "would you have me doubt the testimony of my eyes and ears?" says he.”

All words in this reading · 63

Every word in these five lines is listed here, and every one of them can be played on its own.

Dictionary details are shown only when verified; these are not licensed Oxford entries.

afther

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading "Why," says the Pope, "I've seen you afther kissing Eliza as plain as I see the nose on your face; I heard the smack you gave her as plain as ever I heard thundher."

alladjectiveUS /ɔːl/

(quantifier) used with either mass or count nouns to indicate the whole number or amount of or every one of a class

From this reading "Is it me?" says his Riv'rence; "why what would your Holiness be at, at all?

andconjunctionUS /ənd/

used to join words or parts of a sentence that go together

From this reading "Would you have me doubt the evidence ov my sinses?" says the Pope; "would you have me doubt the testimony of my eyes and ears?" says he.

anyadjectiveUS /ˈeni/

one or some or every or all without specification

From this reading "Indeed I would so," says his Riv'rence, "if they pretend to have informed your Holiness ov any sich foolishness."

asconjunctionUS /æz/

at the same time that; because; in the way that

From this reading "Why," says the Pope, "I've seen you afther kissing Eliza as plain as I see the nose on your face; I heard the smack you gave her as plain as ever I heard thundher."

atprepositionUS /æt/

in or near a particular place or position

From this reading "Is it me?" says his Riv'rence; "why what would your Holiness be at, at all?

beauxiliary verbUS /biː/

used with a past participle to form the passive, or with -ing for continuous tenses

From this reading "Is it me?" says his Riv'rence; "why what would your Holiness be at, at all?

doingverbUS /ˈduːɪŋ/

-ing form of “do” — engage in

From this reading Sure I wasn't doing no such thing."

doubtnounUS /daʊt/

the state of being unsure of something

From this reading "Would you have me doubt the evidence ov my sinses?" says the Pope; "would you have me doubt the testimony of my eyes and ears?" says he.

earsnounUS /ɪrz/

plural of “ear” — the sense organ for hearing and equilibrium

From this reading "Would you have me doubt the evidence ov my sinses?" says the Pope; "would you have me doubt the testimony of my eyes and ears?" says he.

Eliza

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading "Why," says the Pope, "I've seen you afther kissing Eliza as plain as I see the nose on your face; I heard the smack you gave her as plain as ever I heard thundher."

everadverbUS /ˈevər/

at any time

From this reading "Why," says the Pope, "I've seen you afther kissing Eliza as plain as I see the nose on your face; I heard the smack you gave her as plain as ever I heard thundher."

evidencenounUS /ˈevədəns/

your basis for belief or disbelief; knowledge on which to base belief

From this reading "Would you have me doubt the evidence ov my sinses?" says the Pope; "would you have me doubt the testimony of my eyes and ears?" says he.

eyesnounUS /aɪz/

opinion or judgment

From this reading "Would you have me doubt the evidence ov my sinses?" says the Pope; "would you have me doubt the testimony of my eyes and ears?" says he.

facenounUS /feɪs/

the front of the human head from the forehead to the chin and ear to ear

From this reading "Why," says the Pope, "I've seen you afther kissing Eliza as plain as I see the nose on your face; I heard the smack you gave her as plain as ever I heard thundher."

foolishnessnounUS /ˈfuːlɪʃnəs/

the trait of acting stupidly or rashly

From this reading "Indeed I would so," says his Riv'rence, "if they pretend to have informed your Holiness ov any sich foolishness."

gaveverbUS /ɡeɪv/

inflected form of “give” — cause to have, in the abstract sense or physical sense

From this reading "Why," says the Pope, "I've seen you afther kissing Eliza as plain as I see the nose on your face; I heard the smack you gave her as plain as ever I heard thundher."

haveauxiliary verbUS /hæv/

used with a past participle to form the perfect tenses

From this reading "Would you have me doubt the evidence ov my sinses?" says the Pope; "would you have me doubt the testimony of my eyes and ears?" says he.

hepronounUS /hiː/

a man, boy, or male animal already mentioned, as the subject

From this reading "Would you have me doubt the evidence ov my sinses?" says the Pope; "would you have me doubt the testimony of my eyes and ears?" says he.

heardadjectiveUS /hɜːrd/

detected or perceived by the sense of hearing

From this reading "Why," says the Pope, "I've seen you afther kissing Eliza as plain as I see the nose on your face; I heard the smack you gave her as plain as ever I heard thundher."

herdeterminerUS /hɜːr/

belonging to a woman, girl, or female animal already mentioned

From this reading "Why," says the Pope, "I've seen you afther kissing Eliza as plain as I see the nose on your face; I heard the smack you gave her as plain as ever I heard thundher."

hisdeterminerUS /hɪz/

belonging to a man, boy, or male animal already mentioned

From this reading "Is it me?" says his Riv'rence; "why what would your Holiness be at, at all?

HolinessnounUS /ˈhoʊlinəs/

the quality of being holy

From this reading "Is it me?" says his Riv'rence; "why what would your Holiness be at, at all?

IpronounUS /aɪ/

the person speaking or writing, as the subject of the verb

From this reading Sure I wasn't doing no such thing."

I've

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading "Why," says the Pope, "I've seen you afther kissing Eliza as plain as I see the nose on your face; I heard the smack you gave her as plain as ever I heard thundher."

ifconjunctionUS /ɪf/

on condition that; in the event that

From this reading "Indeed I would so," says his Riv'rence, "if they pretend to have informed your Holiness ov any sich foolishness."

IndeedadverbUS /ˌɪnˈdiːd/

in truth (often tends to intensify)

From this reading "Indeed I would so," says his Riv'rence, "if they pretend to have informed your Holiness ov any sich foolishness."

informedadjectiveUS /ˌɪnˈfɔːrmd/

having much knowledge or education

From this reading "Indeed I would so," says his Riv'rence, "if they pretend to have informed your Holiness ov any sich foolishness."

Isauxiliary verbUS /ɪz/

the form of “be” used with he, she, it, or a singular noun

From this reading "Is it me?" says his Riv'rence; "why what would your Holiness be at, at all?

itpronounUS /ɪt/

a thing, animal, or idea already mentioned

From this reading "Is it me?" says his Riv'rence; "why what would your Holiness be at, at all?

kissingnounUS /ˈkɪsɪŋ/

affectionate play (or foreplay without contact with the genital organs)

From this reading "Why," says the Pope, "I've seen you afther kissing Eliza as plain as I see the nose on your face; I heard the smack you gave her as plain as ever I heard thundher."

mepronounUS /miː/

the person speaking, as the object of a verb or preposition

From this reading "Is it me?" says his Riv'rence; "why what would your Holiness be at, at all?

mydeterminerUS /maɪ/

belonging to the person speaking

From this reading "Would you have me doubt the evidence ov my sinses?" says the Pope; "would you have me doubt the testimony of my eyes and ears?" says he.

nodeterminerUS /noʊ/

not any; not one

From this reading Sure I wasn't doing no such thing."

nosenounUS /noʊz/

the organ of smell and entrance to the respiratory tract; the prominent part of the face of man or other mammals

From this reading "Why," says the Pope, "I've seen you afther kissing Eliza as plain as I see the nose on your face; I heard the smack you gave her as plain as ever I heard thundher."

ofprepositionUS /ʌv/

belonging to, or connected with, somebody or something

From this reading "Would you have me doubt the evidence ov my sinses?" says the Pope; "would you have me doubt the testimony of my eyes and ears?" says he.

onprepositionUS /ɑːn/

touching and supported by a surface

From this reading "Why," says the Pope, "I've seen you afther kissing Eliza as plain as I see the nose on your face; I heard the smack you gave her as plain as ever I heard thundher."

ovnoun

a terrorist group of Protestants who oppose any political settlement with Irish nationalists; a paramilitary group that attacks Catholic interests in Northern Ireland

From this reading "Would you have me doubt the evidence ov my sinses?" says the Pope; "would you have me doubt the testimony of my eyes and ears?" says he.

plainadjectiveUS /pleɪn/

clearly revealed to the mind or the senses or judgment

From this reading "Why," says the Pope, "I've seen you afther kissing Eliza as plain as I see the nose on your face; I heard the smack you gave her as plain as ever I heard thundher."

PopenounUS /poʊp/

the head of the Roman Catholic Church

From this reading "Would you have me doubt the evidence ov my sinses?" says the Pope; "would you have me doubt the testimony of my eyes and ears?" says he.

pretendverbUS /priˈtend/

make believe with the intent to deceive

From this reading "Indeed I would so," says his Riv'rence, "if they pretend to have informed your Holiness ov any sich foolishness."

Riv'rence

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading "Is it me?" says his Riv'rence; "why what would your Holiness be at, at all?

saysnounUS /sez/

plural of “say” — the chance to speak

From this reading "Is it me?" says his Riv'rence; "why what would your Holiness be at, at all?

seeverbUS /siː/

perceive by sight or have the power to perceive by sight

From this reading "Why," says the Pope, "I've seen you afther kissing Eliza as plain as I see the nose on your face; I heard the smack you gave her as plain as ever I heard thundher."

seenverbUS /siːn/

inflected form of “see” — perceive by sight or have the power to perceive by sight

From this reading "Why," says the Pope, "I've seen you afther kissing Eliza as plain as I see the nose on your face; I heard the smack you gave her as plain as ever I heard thundher."

sich

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading "Indeed I would so," says his Riv'rence, "if they pretend to have informed your Holiness ov any sich foolishness."

sinses

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading "Would you have me doubt the evidence ov my sinses?" says the Pope; "would you have me doubt the testimony of my eyes and ears?" says he.

smackverbUS /smæk/

deliver a hard blow to

From this reading "Why," says the Pope, "I've seen you afther kissing Eliza as plain as I see the nose on your face; I heard the smack you gave her as plain as ever I heard thundher."

soconjunctionUS /soʊ/

for that reason; with the result that

From this reading "Indeed I would so," says his Riv'rence, "if they pretend to have informed your Holiness ov any sich foolishness."

suchdeterminerUS /sʌtʃ/

of the kind already mentioned

From this reading Sure I wasn't doing no such thing."

SureadjectiveUS /ʃʊr/

having or feeling no doubt or uncertainty; confident and assured

From this reading Sure I wasn't doing no such thing."

testimonynounUS /ˈtestəmoʊni/

a solemn statement made under oath

From this reading "Would you have me doubt the evidence ov my sinses?" says the Pope; "would you have me doubt the testimony of my eyes and ears?" says he.

thedeterminerUS /ðə/

used before a noun that is already known, already mentioned, or the only one of its kind

From this reading "Would you have me doubt the evidence ov my sinses?" says the Pope; "would you have me doubt the testimony of my eyes and ears?" says he.

theypronounUS /ðeɪ/

the people, animals, or things already mentioned, as the subject

From this reading "Indeed I would so," says his Riv'rence, "if they pretend to have informed your Holiness ov any sich foolishness."

thingnounUS /θɪŋ/

a special situation

From this reading Sure I wasn't doing no such thing."

thundher

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading "Why," says the Pope, "I've seen you afther kissing Eliza as plain as I see the nose on your face; I heard the smack you gave her as plain as ever I heard thundher."

toparticleUS /tuː/

used before the base form of a verb to make the infinitive

From this reading "Indeed I would so," says his Riv'rence, "if they pretend to have informed your Holiness ov any sich foolishness."

wasn't

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading Sure I wasn't doing no such thing."

whatpronounUS /wʌt/

used to ask for information about something

From this reading "Is it me?" says his Riv'rence; "why what would your Holiness be at, at all?

whynounUS /waɪ/

the cause or intention underlying an action or situation, especially in the phrase “the whys and wherefores”

From this reading "Is it me?" says his Riv'rence; "why what would your Holiness be at, at all?

wouldmodal verbUS /wʊd/

used for something imagined, polite, or habitual in the past

From this reading "Is it me?" says his Riv'rence; "why what would your Holiness be at, at all?

youpronounUS /juː/

the person or people being spoken to

From this reading "Would you have me doubt the evidence ov my sinses?" says the Pope; "would you have me doubt the testimony of my eyes and ears?" says he.

yourdeterminerUS /jɔːr/

belonging to the person or people being spoken to

From this reading "Is it me?" says his Riv'rence; "why what would your Holiness be at, at all?

Chapter 5 of Stories of Comedy by Rossiter [Editor] Johnson holds 432 sentences, grouped into 87 reading sections of at most 5 sentences. The text is the source edition, unabridged, and the chapter records which sentences cover which part of the work so that nothing is dropped. Every word can be tapped for its pronunciation and dictionary entry.

What does chapter 5 of Stories of Comedy contain?

Chapter 5 holds 432 sentences of Stories of Comedy, unabridged, divided into 87 reading sections.

This page carries chapter 5 of Stories of Comedy by Rossiter [Editor] Johnson exactly as it stands in the source edition, without abridgement. It runs to 432 sentences, grouped into 87 sections of at most 5 sentences so that a reader can take the chapter in steady, finishable pieces. The chapter also stores a coverage record mapping every one of its sentences to a part of the work, which is how the edition demonstrates that no line was dropped.

How do I study chapter 5 of Stories of Comedy?

Work through the 87 sections in order, replaying any sentence and tapping unfamiliar words for their entries.

Each of the 87 sections in this chapter is short enough to read once, hear once, and then re-read with the vocabulary in view. Tapping a word plays it alone and opens its dictionary entry with IPA, part of speech and meaning, so the reader is never forced to guess a pronunciation from spelling. Working section by section keeps a long chapter from becoming an undifferentiated wall of text, which is the usual reason a reader abandons a work of this period.

Can chapter 5 be read aloud to me?

Yes — every sentence and every individual word in chapter 5 can be played aloud in United States English.

Audio covers the whole chapter: any sentence can be played, and any single word within it can be played on its own. The voice uses United States English. For a work of this period that matters, because spelling is an unreliable guide to pronunciation for vocabulary that has fallen out of daily use, and a learner who guesses wrong tends to keep the error. Hearing the word in its own sentence, and then alone, settles it.

Questions about reading Stories of Comedy

Common questions about reading Stories of Comedy by Rossiter [Editor] Johnson on this page, its source edition and its audio.

Is this the complete text of Stories of Comedy?

Yes. All 2531 sentences of Project Gutenberg eBook #20229 are kept, with a record of which sentences cover which part.

Which edition of Stories of Comedy is used?

Project Gutenberg eBook #20229, unabridged. The Project Gutenberg header, footer and licence are removed.

How long does Stories of Comedy take to read?

About 210 minutes of reading across 507 sections of 5 sentences each, at an unhurried pace.

How to read Stories of Comedy section by section

How to work through Stories of Comedy section by section, using the audio and the tap-to-define vocabulary.

  1. Open a chapter

    Choose one of the 6 chapters of Stories of Comedy to begin.

  2. Read one section

    Each section holds 5 sentences; read it once through.

  3. Listen and tap

    Play the section aloud, then tap any unfamiliar word for its entry.

Vocabulary met early in Stories of Comedy

Words and structures a reader meets early in Stories of Comedy, each tappable for pronunciation and meaning.

Barny
A word that appears in the opening chapter of Stories of Comedy; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
O'reirdon
A word that appears in the opening chapter of Stories of Comedy; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
Fisherman
A word that appears in the opening chapter of Stories of Comedy; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
Kinsale
A word that appears in the opening chapter of Stories of Comedy; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.