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The Best American Humorous Short Stories
The Best American Humorous Short Stories

Chapter VII · Chapter 7

Chapter 7 of The Best American Humorous Short Stories is here in full — 414 sentences across 83 reading sections, with audio for every sentence and word.

Cover illustration for The Best American Humorous Short Stories
Context Illustration Reading 1/82 · 5 lines
English subtitles · tap any word to listen 1 / 5
Oh, that’s perfec unuseless, Pink.
I’m a officer o the law, Pink, an the law consider womenwell, I may say the law, _she_ deal ith _men_, not women, an she expect her officers to understan figgers, an if I hadn’t o understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt to p’int me his dep’ty.
Me n you can fix them terms.
Now see here, reg’lar bo’deatin bo’d, I meanis ten dollars, an sleepin and singuil meals is cordin to the figgers you’ve sot for em.
Ain’t that so?
0:00 / 0:00
Speed 0.75x
AI-generated narration by OpenAI · Slow US English
LEARNER DICTIONARY
Archivist
/ˈɑːrkɪvɪst/
Editorial verification pending

A keeper or guardian of historical records and memories.

The Best American Humorous Short Stories

Chapter VII · Chapter 7

Chapter 7 of The Best American Humorous Short Stories is here in full — 414 sentences across 83 reading sections, with audio for every sentence and word.

Reading 1/82 · 5 reading units · Lines 1–5

Line 1
Oh, that’s perfecunuseless, Pink.
Line 2
I’m aofficer othe law, Pink, anthe law consider womenwell, I may say the law, _she_ dealith _men_, not women, anshe expect her officers to understanfiggers, anif I hadn’t ounderstood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnttop’int me his dep’ty.
Line 3
Menyou can fix them terms.
/miː en juː kæn fɪks ðem tɜːrmz/
Line 4
Now see here, reg’lar bo’deatinbo’d, I meanis ten dollars, ansleepinand singuil meals iscordinto the figgers you’ve sot forem.
Line 5
Ain’t that so?

Learner Dictionary

These definitions explain words found in the current reading and keep every example grounded in its original sentence.

Oxford-style entry order: headword, part of speech, US IPA, concise definition, contextual example, and audio.

consider verb US /kənˈsɪdər/

deem to be

From this reading “I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.”

fix verb US /fɪks/

restore by replacing a part or putting together what is torn or broken

From this reading “Me ’n’ you can fix them terms.”

meals noun US /miːlz/

plural of “meal” — the food served and eaten at one time

From this reading “Now see here, reg’lar bo’d—eatin’ bo’d, I mean—is ten dollars, an’ sleepin’ and singuil meals is ’cordin’ to the figgers you’ve sot for ’em.”

officer noun US /ˈɔːfəsər/

any person in the armed services who holds a position of authority or command

From this reading “I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.”

officers noun US /ˈɔːfəsərz/

plural of “officer” — any person in the armed services who holds a position of authority or command

From this reading “I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.”

Pink noun US /pɪŋk/

a light shade of red

From this reading ““Oh, that’s perfec’ unuseless, Pink.”

sot noun US /sɔːt/

a chronic drinker

From this reading “Now see here, reg’lar bo’d—eatin’ bo’d, I mean—is ten dollars, an’ sleepin’ and singuil meals is ’cordin’ to the figgers you’ve sot for ’em.”

terms noun US /tɜːrmz/

status with respect to the relations between people or groups

From this reading “Me ’n’ you can fix them terms.”

All words in this reading · 69

Every word in these five lines is listed here, and every one of them can be played on its own.

Dictionary details are shown only when verified; these are not licensed Oxford entries.

adeterminerUS /ə/

used before a singular noun to mean one of a group, when it is not a particular one

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

Ain't

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading Ain’t that so?

andeterminerUS /æn/

the form of “a” used before a word that begins with a vowel sound

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

andconjunctionUS /ənd/

used to join words or parts of a sentence that go together

From this reading Now see here, reg’lar bo’d—eatin’ bo’d, I mean—is ten dollars, an’ sleepin’ and singuil meals is ’cordin’ to the figgers you’ve sot for ’em.

bo'd

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading Now see here, reg’lar bo’d—eatin’ bo’d, I mean—is ten dollars, an’ sleepin’ and singuil meals is ’cordin’ to the figgers you’ve sot for ’em.

canmodal verbUS /kæn/

to be able to, or to be allowed to

From this reading Me ’n’ you can fix them terms.

considerverbUS /kənˈsɪdər/

deem to be

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

cordin

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading Now see here, reg’lar bo’d—eatin’ bo’d, I mean—is ten dollars, an’ sleepin’ and singuil meals is ’cordin’ to the figgers you’ve sot for ’em.

darsnt

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

dealverbUS /diːl/

act on verbally or in some form of artistic expression

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

dep'ty

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

dollarsnounUS /ˈdɑːlərz/

plural of “dollar” — the basic monetary unit in many countries; equal to 100 cents

From this reading Now see here, reg’lar bo’d—eatin’ bo’d, I mean—is ten dollars, an’ sleepin’ and singuil meals is ’cordin’ to the figgers you’ve sot for ’em.

eatin

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading Now see here, reg’lar bo’d—eatin’ bo’d, I mean—is ten dollars, an’ sleepin’ and singuil meals is ’cordin’ to the figgers you’ve sot for ’em.

emnounUS /em/

a quad with a square body

From this reading Now see here, reg’lar bo’d—eatin’ bo’d, I mean—is ten dollars, an’ sleepin’ and singuil meals is ’cordin’ to the figgers you’ve sot for ’em.

expectverbUS /ɪkˈspekt/

regard something as probable or likely

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

figgers

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

fixverbUS /fɪks/

restore by replacing a part or putting together what is torn or broken

From this reading Me ’n’ you can fix them terms.

forprepositionUS /fɔːr/

intended to be given to, or used by, somebody

From this reading Now see here, reg’lar bo’d—eatin’ bo’d, I mean—is ten dollars, an’ sleepin’ and singuil meals is ’cordin’ to the figgers you’ve sot for ’em.

hadn't

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

herdeterminerUS /hɜːr/

belonging to a woman, girl, or female animal already mentioned

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

hereadverbUS /hiːr/

in or at this place; where the speaker or writer is

From this reading Now see here, reg’lar bo’d—eatin’ bo’d, I mean—is ten dollars, an’ sleepin’ and singuil meals is ’cordin’ to the figgers you’ve sot for ’em.

hisdeterminerUS /hɪz/

belonging to a man, boy, or male animal already mentioned

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

IpronounUS /aɪ/

the person speaking or writing, as the subject of the verb

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

I'm

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

ifconjunctionUS /ɪf/

on condition that; in the event that

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

isauxiliary verbUS /ɪz/

the form of “be” used with he, she, it, or a singular noun

From this reading Now see here, reg’lar bo’d—eatin’ bo’d, I mean—is ten dollars, an’ sleepin’ and singuil meals is ’cordin’ to the figgers you’ve sot for ’em.

ith

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

lawnounUS /lɔː/

the collection of rules imposed by authority

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

maymodal verbUS /meɪ/

used to say something is possible, or to give permission

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

mepronounUS /miː/

the person speaking, as the object of a verb or preposition

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

mealsnounUS /miːlz/

plural of “meal” — the food served and eaten at one time

From this reading Now see here, reg’lar bo’d—eatin’ bo’d, I mean—is ten dollars, an’ sleepin’ and singuil meals is ’cordin’ to the figgers you’ve sot for ’em.

meanverbUS /miːn/

mean or intend to express or convey

From this reading Now see here, reg’lar bo’d—eatin’ bo’d, I mean—is ten dollars, an’ sleepin’ and singuil meals is ’cordin’ to the figgers you’ve sot for ’em.

mennounUS /men/

the force of workers available

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

MrnounUS /ˈmɪstər/

a form of address for a man

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

nnounUS /en/

a common nonmetallic element that is normally a colorless odorless tasteless inert diatomic gas; constitutes 78 percent of the atmosphere by volume; a constituent of all living tissues

From this reading Me ’n’ you can fix them terms.

notadverbUS /nɑːt/

used to make a word, phrase, or sentence negative

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

NowadverbUS /naʊ/

in the historical present; at this point in the narration of a series of past events

From this reading Now see here, reg’lar bo’d—eatin’ bo’d, I mean—is ten dollars, an’ sleepin’ and singuil meals is ’cordin’ to the figgers you’ve sot for ’em.

onounUS /oʊ/

a nonmetallic bivalent element that is normally a colorless odorless tasteless nonflammable diatomic gas; constitutes 21 percent of the atmosphere by volume; the most abundant element in the earth's crust

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

officernounUS /ˈɔːfəsər/

any person in the armed services who holds a position of authority or command

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

officersnounUS /ˈɔːfəsərz/

plural of “officer” — any person in the armed services who holds a position of authority or command

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

OhnounUS /oʊ/

a midwestern state in north central United States in the Great Lakes region

From this reading “Oh, that’s perfec’ unuseless, Pink.

orconjunctionUS /ɔːr/

used to join alternatives or possibilities

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

p'int

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

perfec

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading “Oh, that’s perfec’ unuseless, Pink.

PinknounUS /pɪŋk/

a light shade of red

From this reading “Oh, that’s perfec’ unuseless, Pink.

reg'lar

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading Now see here, reg’lar bo’d—eatin’ bo’d, I mean—is ten dollars, an’ sleepin’ and singuil meals is ’cordin’ to the figgers you’ve sot for ’em.

Sanks

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

sayverbUS /seɪ/

express in words

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

seeverbUS /siː/

perceive by sight or have the power to perceive by sight

From this reading Now see here, reg’lar bo’d—eatin’ bo’d, I mean—is ten dollars, an’ sleepin’ and singuil meals is ’cordin’ to the figgers you’ve sot for ’em.

shepronounUS /ʃiː/

a woman, girl, or female animal already mentioned, as the subject

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

singuil

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading Now see here, reg’lar bo’d—eatin’ bo’d, I mean—is ten dollars, an’ sleepin’ and singuil meals is ’cordin’ to the figgers you’ve sot for ’em.

sleepin

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading Now see here, reg’lar bo’d—eatin’ bo’d, I mean—is ten dollars, an’ sleepin’ and singuil meals is ’cordin’ to the figgers you’ve sot for ’em.

soconjunctionUS /soʊ/

for that reason; with the result that

From this reading Ain’t that so?

sotnounUS /sɔːt/

a chronic drinker

From this reading Now see here, reg’lar bo’d—eatin’ bo’d, I mean—is ten dollars, an’ sleepin’ and singuil meals is ’cordin’ to the figgers you’ve sot for ’em.

tennounUS /ten/

the cardinal number that is the sum of nine and one; the base of the decimal system

From this reading Now see here, reg’lar bo’d—eatin’ bo’d, I mean—is ten dollars, an’ sleepin’ and singuil meals is ’cordin’ to the figgers you’ve sot for ’em.

termsnounUS /tɜːrmz/

status with respect to the relations between people or groups

From this reading Me ’n’ you can fix them terms.

thatconjunctionUS /ðæt/

used to introduce what somebody said, thought, or felt

From this reading Ain’t that so?

that's

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading “Oh, that’s perfec’ unuseless, Pink.

thedeterminerUS /ðə/

used before a noun that is already known, already mentioned, or the only one of its kind

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

thempronounUS /ðem/

the people or things already mentioned, as the object

From this reading Me ’n’ you can fix them terms.

toparticleUS /tuː/

used before the base form of a verb to make the infinitive

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

understan

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

understoodadjectiveUS /ˌʌndərˈstʊd/

fully apprehended as to purport or meaning or explanation

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

unuseless

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading “Oh, that’s perfec’ unuseless, Pink.

welladverbUS /wel/

(often used as a combining form) in a good or proper or satisfactory manner or to a high standard (“good” is a nonstandard dialectal variant for “well”)

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

womennounUS /ˈwɪmən/

plural of “woman” — an adult female person (as opposed to a man)

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

wouldn't

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading I’m a’ officer o’ the law, Pink, an’ the law consider women—well, I may say the law, _she_ deal ’ith _men_, not women, an’ she expect her officers to understan’ figgers, an’ if I hadn’t o’ understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn’t or darsnt’ to ’p’int me his dep’ty.

youpronounUS /juː/

the person or people being spoken to

From this reading Me ’n’ you can fix them terms.

you've

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading Now see here, reg’lar bo’d—eatin’ bo’d, I mean—is ten dollars, an’ sleepin’ and singuil meals is ’cordin’ to the figgers you’ve sot for ’em.

Chapter 7 of The Best American Humorous Short Stories by Alexander[Editor] Jessup holds 414 sentences, grouped into 83 reading sections of at most 5 sentences. The text is the source edition, unabridged, and the chapter records which sentences cover which part of the work so that nothing is dropped. Every word can be tapped for its pronunciation and dictionary entry.

What does chapter 7 of The Best American Humorous Short Stories contain?

Chapter 7 holds 414 sentences of The Best American Humorous Short Stories, unabridged, divided into 83 reading sections.

This page carries chapter 7 of The Best American Humorous Short Stories by Alexander[Editor] Jessup exactly as it stands in the source edition, without abridgement. It runs to 414 sentences, grouped into 83 sections of at most 5 sentences so that a reader can take the chapter in steady, finishable pieces. The chapter also stores a coverage record mapping every one of its sentences to a part of the work, which is how the edition demonstrates that no line was dropped.

How do I study chapter 7 of The Best American Humorous Short Stories?

Work through the 83 sections in order, replaying any sentence and tapping unfamiliar words for their entries.

Each of the 83 sections in this chapter is short enough to read once, hear once, and then re-read with the vocabulary in view. Tapping a word plays it alone and opens its dictionary entry with IPA, part of speech and meaning, so the reader is never forced to guess a pronunciation from spelling. Working section by section keeps a long chapter from becoming an undifferentiated wall of text, which is the usual reason a reader abandons a work of this period.

Can chapter 7 be read aloud to me?

Yes — every sentence and every individual word in chapter 7 can be played aloud in United States English.

Audio covers the whole chapter: any sentence can be played, and any single word within it can be played on its own. The voice uses United States English. For a work of this period that matters, because spelling is an unreliable guide to pronunciation for vocabulary that has fallen out of daily use, and a learner who guesses wrong tends to keep the error. Hearing the word in its own sentence, and then alone, settles it.

Questions about reading The Best American Humorous Short Stories

Common questions about reading The Best American Humorous Short Stories by Alexander[Editor] Jessup on this page, its source edition and its audio.

Is this the complete text of The Best American Humorous Short Stories?

Yes. All 5455 sentences of Project Gutenberg eBook #10947 are kept, with a record of which sentences cover which part.

Which edition of The Best American Humorous Short Stories is used?

Project Gutenberg eBook #10947, unabridged. The Project Gutenberg header, footer and licence are removed.

How long does The Best American Humorous Short Stories take to read?

About 454 minutes of reading across 1091 sections of 5 sentences each, at an unhurried pace.

How to read The Best American Humorous Short Stories section by section

How to work through The Best American Humorous Short Stories section by section, using the audio and the tap-to-define vocabulary.

  1. Open a chapter

    Choose one of the 13 chapters of The Best American Humorous Short Stories to begin.

  2. Read one section

    Each section holds 5 sentences; read it once through.

  3. Listen and tap

    Play the section aloud, then tap any unfamiliar word for its entry.

Vocabulary met early in The Best American Humorous Short Stories

Words and structures a reader meets early in The Best American Humorous Short Stories, each tappable for pronunciation and meaning.

Editor
A word that appears in the opening chapter of The Best American Humorous Short Stories; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
Representative
A word that appears in the opening chapter of The Best American Humorous Short Stories; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
American
A word that appears in the opening chapter of The Best American Humorous Short Stories; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
Short
A word that appears in the opening chapter of The Best American Humorous Short Stories; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.