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The Best American Humorous Short Stories
The Best American Humorous Short Stories

Chapter XII · Chapter 12

Chapter 12 of The Best American Humorous Short Stories is here in full — 417 sentences across 84 reading sections, with audio for every sentence and word.

Cover illustration for The Best American Humorous Short Stories
Context Illustration Reading 1/83 · 5 lines
English subtitles · tap any word to listen 1 / 5
Both men felt an anxious yawning in the region of the appetite, and a yearning moisture wetted their tongues.
They looked at the slumbering Uncle Billy and decided to see Mrs. Tutt themselves about a good, hot dinner for six.
Law me!” exclaimed Aunt Margaret when they appeared at the kitchen door.
I swan I thought you folks u’d never come to yore senses.
Here I’ve had a big pot o stewed chicken ready on the stove fer two mortal hours.
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AI-generated narration by OpenAI · Slow US English
LEARNER DICTIONARY
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A keeper or guardian of historical records and memories.

The Best American Humorous Short Stories

Chapter XII · Chapter 12

Chapter 12 of The Best American Humorous Short Stories is here in full — 417 sentences across 84 reading sections, with audio for every sentence and word.

Reading 1/83 · 5 reading units · Lines 1–5

Line 1
Both men felt an anxious yawning in the region of the appetite, and a yearning moisture wetted their tongues.
Line 2
They looked at the slumbering Uncle Billy and decided to see Mrs. Tutt themselves about a good, hot dinner for six.
Line 3
Law me!” exclaimed Aunt Margaret when they appeared at the kitchen door.
Line 4
I swan I thought you folksu’d never come to yore senses.
Line 5
Here I’ve had a big pot ostewed chicken ready on the stove fer two mortal hours.

Learner Dictionary

These definitions explain words found in the current reading and keep every example grounded in its original sentence.

Oxford-style entry order: headword, part of speech, US IPA, concise definition, contextual example, and audio.

chicken noun US /ˈtʃɪkən/

the flesh of a chicken used for food

From this reading “Here I’ve had a big pot o’ stewed chicken ready on the stove fer two mortal hours.”

moisture noun US /ˈmɔɪstʃər/

wetness caused by water

From this reading “Both men felt an anxious yawning in the region of the appetite, and a yearning moisture wetted their tongues.”

slumbering verb US /ˈslʌmbərɪŋ/

-ing form of “slumber” — be asleep

From this reading “They looked at the slumbering Uncle Billy and decided to see Mrs. Tutt themselves about a good, hot dinner for six.”

stewed adjective US /stuːd/

cooked in hot water

From this reading “Here I’ve had a big pot o’ stewed chicken ready on the stove fer two mortal hours.”

swan verb US /swɑːn/

to declare or affirm solemnly and formally as true

From this reading ““I swan I thought you folks ’u’d never come to yore senses.”

yawning adjective US /ˈjɔːnɪŋ/

gaping open as if threatening to engulf someone or something

From this reading “Both men felt an anxious yawning in the region of the appetite, and a yearning moisture wetted their tongues.”

yearning noun US /ˈjɜːrnɪŋ/

prolonged unfulfilled desire or need

From this reading “Both men felt an anxious yawning in the region of the appetite, and a yearning moisture wetted their tongues.”

yore noun US /jɔːr/

time long past

From this reading ““I swan I thought you folks ’u’d never come to yore senses.”

All words in this reading · 70

Every word in these five lines is listed here, and every one of them can be played on its own.

Dictionary details are shown only when verified; these are not licensed Oxford entries.

adeterminerUS /ə/

used before a singular noun to mean one of a group, when it is not a particular one

From this reading Both men felt an anxious yawning in the region of the appetite, and a yearning moisture wetted their tongues.

aboutprepositionUS /əˈbaʊt/

on the subject of; concerning

From this reading They looked at the slumbering Uncle Billy and decided to see Mrs. Tutt themselves about a good, hot dinner for six.

andeterminerUS /æn/

the form of “a” used before a word that begins with a vowel sound

From this reading Both men felt an anxious yawning in the region of the appetite, and a yearning moisture wetted their tongues.

andconjunctionUS /ənd/

used to join words or parts of a sentence that go together

From this reading Both men felt an anxious yawning in the region of the appetite, and a yearning moisture wetted their tongues.

anxiousadjectiveUS /ˈæŋkʃəs/

eagerly desirous

From this reading Both men felt an anxious yawning in the region of the appetite, and a yearning moisture wetted their tongues.

appearedverbUS /əˈpɪrd/

past form of “appear” — give a certain impression or have a certain outward aspect

From this reading “Law me!” exclaimed Aunt Margaret when they appeared at the kitchen door.

appetitenounUS /ˈæpətaɪt/

a feeling of craving something

From this reading Both men felt an anxious yawning in the region of the appetite, and a yearning moisture wetted their tongues.

atprepositionUS /æt/

in or near a particular place or position

From this reading They looked at the slumbering Uncle Billy and decided to see Mrs. Tutt themselves about a good, hot dinner for six.

AuntnounUS /ænt/

the sister of your father or mother; the wife of your uncle

From this reading “Law me!” exclaimed Aunt Margaret when they appeared at the kitchen door.

bigadjectiveUS /bɪɡ/

above average in size or number or quantity or magnitude or extent

From this reading Here I’ve had a big pot o’ stewed chicken ready on the stove fer two mortal hours.

BillynounUS /ˈbɪli/

a short stout club used primarily by policemen

From this reading They looked at the slumbering Uncle Billy and decided to see Mrs. Tutt themselves about a good, hot dinner for six.

BothdeterminerUS /boʊθ/

the two together, not just one

From this reading Both men felt an anxious yawning in the region of the appetite, and a yearning moisture wetted their tongues.

chickennounUS /ˈtʃɪkən/

the flesh of a chicken used for food

From this reading Here I’ve had a big pot o’ stewed chicken ready on the stove fer two mortal hours.

comeverbUS /kʌm/

move toward, travel toward something or somebody or approach something or somebody

From this reading “I swan I thought you folks ’u’d never come to yore senses.

decidedadjectiveUS /ˌdɪˈsaɪdɪd/

recognizable; marked

From this reading They looked at the slumbering Uncle Billy and decided to see Mrs. Tutt themselves about a good, hot dinner for six.

dinnernounUS /ˈdɪnər/

the main meal of the day served in the evening or at midday

From this reading They looked at the slumbering Uncle Billy and decided to see Mrs. Tutt themselves about a good, hot dinner for six.

doornounUS /dɔːr/

a swinging or sliding barrier that will close the entrance to a room or building or vehicle

From this reading “Law me!” exclaimed Aunt Margaret when they appeared at the kitchen door.

exclaimedverbUS /ɪkˈskleɪmd/

past form of “exclaim” — utter aloud; often with surprise, horror, or joy

From this reading “Law me!” exclaimed Aunt Margaret when they appeared at the kitchen door.

feltverbUS /felt/

mat together and make felt-like

From this reading Both men felt an anxious yawning in the region of the appetite, and a yearning moisture wetted their tongues.

fer

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading Here I’ve had a big pot o’ stewed chicken ready on the stove fer two mortal hours.

folksnounUS /foʊks/

your parents

From this reading “I swan I thought you folks ’u’d never come to yore senses.

forprepositionUS /fɔːr/

intended to be given to, or used by, somebody

From this reading They looked at the slumbering Uncle Billy and decided to see Mrs. Tutt themselves about a good, hot dinner for six.

goodadjectiveUS /ɡʊd/

having desirable or positive qualities especially those suitable for a thing specified

From this reading They looked at the slumbering Uncle Billy and decided to see Mrs. Tutt themselves about a good, hot dinner for six.

hadauxiliary verbUS /hæd/

the past form of “have”, used to form the past perfect

From this reading Here I’ve had a big pot o’ stewed chicken ready on the stove fer two mortal hours.

HereadverbUS /hiːr/

in or at this place; where the speaker or writer is

From this reading Here I’ve had a big pot o’ stewed chicken ready on the stove fer two mortal hours.

hotadjectiveUS /hɑːt/

used of physical heat; having a high or higher than desirable temperature or giving off heat or feeling or causing a sensation of heat or burning

From this reading They looked at the slumbering Uncle Billy and decided to see Mrs. Tutt themselves about a good, hot dinner for six.

hoursnounUS /ˈaʊərz/

a period of time assigned for work

From this reading Here I’ve had a big pot o’ stewed chicken ready on the stove fer two mortal hours.

IpronounUS /aɪ/

the person speaking or writing, as the subject of the verb

From this reading “I swan I thought you folks ’u’d never come to yore senses.

I've

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading Here I’ve had a big pot o’ stewed chicken ready on the stove fer two mortal hours.

inprepositionUS /ɪn/

inside something, or within a place, period, or state

From this reading Both men felt an anxious yawning in the region of the appetite, and a yearning moisture wetted their tongues.

kitchennounUS /ˈkɪtʃən/

a room equipped for preparing meals

From this reading “Law me!” exclaimed Aunt Margaret when they appeared at the kitchen door.

LawnounUS /lɔː/

the collection of rules imposed by authority

From this reading “Law me!” exclaimed Aunt Margaret when they appeared at the kitchen door.

lookedverbUS /lʊkt/

past form of “look” — perceive with attention; direct one's gaze towards

From this reading They looked at the slumbering Uncle Billy and decided to see Mrs. Tutt themselves about a good, hot dinner for six.

Margaret

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading “Law me!” exclaimed Aunt Margaret when they appeared at the kitchen door.

mepronounUS /miː/

the person speaking, as the object of a verb or preposition

From this reading “Law me!” exclaimed Aunt Margaret when they appeared at the kitchen door.

mennounUS /men/

the force of workers available

From this reading Both men felt an anxious yawning in the region of the appetite, and a yearning moisture wetted their tongues.

moisturenounUS /ˈmɔɪstʃər/

wetness caused by water

From this reading Both men felt an anxious yawning in the region of the appetite, and a yearning moisture wetted their tongues.

mortaladjectiveUS /ˈmɔːrtəl/

subject to death

From this reading Here I’ve had a big pot o’ stewed chicken ready on the stove fer two mortal hours.

MrsnounUS /ˈmɪsɪz/

a form of address for a married woman

From this reading They looked at the slumbering Uncle Billy and decided to see Mrs. Tutt themselves about a good, hot dinner for six.

neveradverbUS /ˈnevər/

not ever; at no time in the past or future

From this reading “I swan I thought you folks ’u’d never come to yore senses.

onounUS /oʊ/

a nonmetallic bivalent element that is normally a colorless odorless tasteless nonflammable diatomic gas; constitutes 21 percent of the atmosphere by volume; the most abundant element in the earth's crust

From this reading Here I’ve had a big pot o’ stewed chicken ready on the stove fer two mortal hours.

ofprepositionUS /ʌv/

belonging to, or connected with, somebody or something

From this reading Both men felt an anxious yawning in the region of the appetite, and a yearning moisture wetted their tongues.

onprepositionUS /ɑːn/

touching and supported by a surface

From this reading Here I’ve had a big pot o’ stewed chicken ready on the stove fer two mortal hours.

potnounUS /pɑːt/

metal or earthenware cooking vessel that is usually round and deep; often has a handle and lid

From this reading Here I’ve had a big pot o’ stewed chicken ready on the stove fer two mortal hours.

readyadjectiveUS /ˈredi/

completely prepared or in condition for immediate action or use or progress

From this reading Here I’ve had a big pot o’ stewed chicken ready on the stove fer two mortal hours.

regionnounUS /ˈriːdʒən/

the extended spatial location of something

From this reading Both men felt an anxious yawning in the region of the appetite, and a yearning moisture wetted their tongues.

seeverbUS /siː/

perceive by sight or have the power to perceive by sight

From this reading They looked at the slumbering Uncle Billy and decided to see Mrs. Tutt themselves about a good, hot dinner for six.

sensesnounUS /ˈsensɪz/

plural of “sens” — street names for marijuana

From this reading “I swan I thought you folks ’u’d never come to yore senses.

sixnounUS /sɪks/

the cardinal number that is the sum of five and one

From this reading They looked at the slumbering Uncle Billy and decided to see Mrs. Tutt themselves about a good, hot dinner for six.

slumberingverbUS /ˈslʌmbərɪŋ/

-ing form of “slumber” — be asleep

From this reading They looked at the slumbering Uncle Billy and decided to see Mrs. Tutt themselves about a good, hot dinner for six.

stewedadjectiveUS /stuːd/

cooked in hot water

From this reading Here I’ve had a big pot o’ stewed chicken ready on the stove fer two mortal hours.

stovenounUS /stoʊv/

a kitchen appliance used for cooking food

From this reading Here I’ve had a big pot o’ stewed chicken ready on the stove fer two mortal hours.

swanverbUS /swɑːn/

to declare or affirm solemnly and formally as true

From this reading “I swan I thought you folks ’u’d never come to yore senses.

thedeterminerUS /ðə/

used before a noun that is already known, already mentioned, or the only one of its kind

From this reading Both men felt an anxious yawning in the region of the appetite, and a yearning moisture wetted their tongues.

theirdeterminerUS /ðer/

belonging to the people or things already mentioned

From this reading Both men felt an anxious yawning in the region of the appetite, and a yearning moisture wetted their tongues.

themselvespronounUS /ðemˈselvz/

used when the people doing the action are also its object

From this reading They looked at the slumbering Uncle Billy and decided to see Mrs. Tutt themselves about a good, hot dinner for six.

TheypronounUS /ðeɪ/

the people, animals, or things already mentioned, as the subject

From this reading They looked at the slumbering Uncle Billy and decided to see Mrs. Tutt themselves about a good, hot dinner for six.

thoughtnounUS /θɔːt/

the content of cognition; the main thing you are thinking about

From this reading “I swan I thought you folks ’u’d never come to yore senses.

toparticleUS /tuː/

used before the base form of a verb to make the infinitive

From this reading They looked at the slumbering Uncle Billy and decided to see Mrs. Tutt themselves about a good, hot dinner for six.

tonguesnounUS /tʌŋz/

plural of “tongue” — a mobile mass of muscular tissue covered with mucous membrane and located in the oral cavity

From this reading Both men felt an anxious yawning in the region of the appetite, and a yearning moisture wetted their tongues.

Tutt

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading They looked at the slumbering Uncle Billy and decided to see Mrs. Tutt themselves about a good, hot dinner for six.

twonounUS /tuː/

the cardinal number that is the sum of one and one or a numeral representing this number

From this reading Here I’ve had a big pot o’ stewed chicken ready on the stove fer two mortal hours.

u'd

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading “I swan I thought you folks ’u’d never come to yore senses.

UnclenounUS /ˈʌŋkəl/

the brother of your father or mother; the husband of your aunt

From this reading They looked at the slumbering Uncle Billy and decided to see Mrs. Tutt themselves about a good, hot dinner for six.

wetted

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading Both men felt an anxious yawning in the region of the appetite, and a yearning moisture wetted their tongues.

whenconjunctionUS /wen/

at the time that

From this reading “Law me!” exclaimed Aunt Margaret when they appeared at the kitchen door.

yawningadjectiveUS /ˈjɔːnɪŋ/

gaping open as if threatening to engulf someone or something

From this reading Both men felt an anxious yawning in the region of the appetite, and a yearning moisture wetted their tongues.

yearningnounUS /ˈjɜːrnɪŋ/

prolonged unfulfilled desire or need

From this reading Both men felt an anxious yawning in the region of the appetite, and a yearning moisture wetted their tongues.

yorenounUS /jɔːr/

time long past

From this reading “I swan I thought you folks ’u’d never come to yore senses.

youpronounUS /juː/

the person or people being spoken to

From this reading “I swan I thought you folks ’u’d never come to yore senses.

Chapter 12 of The Best American Humorous Short Stories by Alexander[Editor] Jessup holds 417 sentences, grouped into 84 reading sections of at most 5 sentences. The text is the source edition, unabridged, and the chapter records which sentences cover which part of the work so that nothing is dropped. Every word can be tapped for its pronunciation and dictionary entry.

What does chapter 12 of The Best American Humorous Short Stories contain?

Chapter 12 holds 417 sentences of The Best American Humorous Short Stories, unabridged, divided into 84 reading sections.

This page carries chapter 12 of The Best American Humorous Short Stories by Alexander[Editor] Jessup exactly as it stands in the source edition, without abridgement. It runs to 417 sentences, grouped into 84 sections of at most 5 sentences so that a reader can take the chapter in steady, finishable pieces. The chapter also stores a coverage record mapping every one of its sentences to a part of the work, which is how the edition demonstrates that no line was dropped.

How do I study chapter 12 of The Best American Humorous Short Stories?

Work through the 84 sections in order, replaying any sentence and tapping unfamiliar words for their entries.

Each of the 84 sections in this chapter is short enough to read once, hear once, and then re-read with the vocabulary in view. Tapping a word plays it alone and opens its dictionary entry with IPA, part of speech and meaning, so the reader is never forced to guess a pronunciation from spelling. Working section by section keeps a long chapter from becoming an undifferentiated wall of text, which is the usual reason a reader abandons a work of this period.

Can chapter 12 be read aloud to me?

Yes — every sentence and every individual word in chapter 12 can be played aloud in United States English.

Audio covers the whole chapter: any sentence can be played, and any single word within it can be played on its own. The voice uses United States English. For a work of this period that matters, because spelling is an unreliable guide to pronunciation for vocabulary that has fallen out of daily use, and a learner who guesses wrong tends to keep the error. Hearing the word in its own sentence, and then alone, settles it.

Questions about reading The Best American Humorous Short Stories

Common questions about reading The Best American Humorous Short Stories by Alexander[Editor] Jessup on this page, its source edition and its audio.

Is this the complete text of The Best American Humorous Short Stories?

Yes. All 5455 sentences of Project Gutenberg eBook #10947 are kept, with a record of which sentences cover which part.

Which edition of The Best American Humorous Short Stories is used?

Project Gutenberg eBook #10947, unabridged. The Project Gutenberg header, footer and licence are removed.

How long does The Best American Humorous Short Stories take to read?

About 454 minutes of reading across 1091 sections of 5 sentences each, at an unhurried pace.

How to read The Best American Humorous Short Stories section by section

How to work through The Best American Humorous Short Stories section by section, using the audio and the tap-to-define vocabulary.

  1. Open a chapter

    Choose one of the 13 chapters of The Best American Humorous Short Stories to begin.

  2. Read one section

    Each section holds 5 sentences; read it once through.

  3. Listen and tap

    Play the section aloud, then tap any unfamiliar word for its entry.

Vocabulary met early in The Best American Humorous Short Stories

Words and structures a reader meets early in The Best American Humorous Short Stories, each tappable for pronunciation and meaning.

Editor
A word that appears in the opening chapter of The Best American Humorous Short Stories; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
Representative
A word that appears in the opening chapter of The Best American Humorous Short Stories; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
American
A word that appears in the opening chapter of The Best American Humorous Short Stories; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
Short
A word that appears in the opening chapter of The Best American Humorous Short Stories; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.