Complete classic literature • Five-line readings • Clear US narration
VELMORA ACADEMY
Academy of Archival Languages & Memory Studies
Menu Close
The Funny Bone
The Funny Bone

Chapter III

Chapter 3 of The Funny Bone is here in full — 459 sentences across 92 reading sections, with audio for every sentence and word.

Cover illustration for The Funny Bone
Context Illustration Reading 1/91 · 5 lines
English subtitles · tap any word to listen 1 / 5
WHY THE HAWKEYE MAN COULDN'T PAY Iowa, 12, 3, '06.
Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.
You speak of honor, if you are honorable you know not whereof you speak.
You also speak of causing me much trouble, my land, I have already trouble enough to send a whole brigade of you wise boys over the road fifty times.
I will give you a history of this case, and if you are surprised at my actions in regard to your claim for 10.00 you are undoubtedly the worst set of misers on earth.
0:00 / 0:00
Speed 0.75x
AI-generated narration by OpenAI · Slow US English
LEARNER DICTIONARY
Archivist
/ˈɑːrkɪvɪst/
Editorial verification pending

A keeper or guardian of historical records and memories.

The Funny Bone

Chapter III

Chapter 3 of The Funny Bone is here in full — 459 sentences across 92 reading sections, with audio for every sentence and word.

Reading 1/91 · 5 reading units · Lines 1–5

Line 1
WHY THE HAWKEYE MAN COULDN'T PAY Iowa, 12, 3, '06.
Line 2
Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.
Line 3
You speak of honor, if you are honorable you know not whereof you speak.
Line 4
You also speak of causing me much trouble, my land, I have already trouble enough to send a whole brigade of you wise boys over the road fifty times.
/juː ˈɔːlsoʊ spiːk ʌv ˈkɑːzɪŋ miː mʌtʃ ˈtrʌbəl maɪ lænd aɪ hæv ɔːlˈredi ˈtrʌbəl ɪˈnʌf tuː send ə hoʊl brəˈɡeɪd ʌv juː waɪz bɔɪz ˈoʊvər ðə roʊd ˈfɪfti taɪmz/
Line 5
I will give you a history of this case, and if you are surprised at my actions in regard to your claim for 10.00 you are undoubtedly the worst set of misers on earth.

Learner Dictionary

These definitions explain words found in the current reading and keep every example grounded in its original sentence.

Oxford-style entry order: headword, part of speech, US IPA, concise definition, contextual example, and audio.

abuse verb US /əˈbjuːs/

treat badly

From this reading “Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.”

brigade noun US /brəˈɡeɪd/

army unit smaller than a division

From this reading “You also speak of causing me much trouble, my land, I have already trouble enough to send a whole brigade of you wise boys over the road fifty times.”

causing noun US /ˈkɑːzɪŋ/

the act of causing something to happen

From this reading “You also speak of causing me much trouble, my land, I have already trouble enough to send a whole brigade of you wise boys over the road fifty times.”

dun noun US /dʌn/

horse of a dull brownish grey color

From this reading “Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.”

Iowa noun US /ˈaɪəwə/

a member of the Siouan people formerly living in Iowa and Minnesota and Missouri

From this reading “WHY THE HAWKEYE MAN COULDN'T PAY Iowa, 12, 3, '06.”

misers noun US /ˈmaɪzərz/

plural of “miser” — a stingy hoarder of money and possessions (often living miserably)

From this reading “I will give you a history of this case, and if you are surprised at my actions in regard to your claim for 10.00 you are undoubtedly the worst set of misers on earth.”

slander noun US /ˈslændər/

words falsely spoken that damage the reputation of another

From this reading “Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.”

sumptuous adjective US /ˈsʌmptʃwəs/

ostentatiously rich and superior in quality

From this reading “Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.”

Word partnerships in these lines

English keeps certain words together, and knowing the pair is worth more than knowing each word alone. Every partnership below was counted across our whole published library, and earns its place by appearing far more often than two unrelated words of the same frequency would.

Shown as this reading writes them, with the form the library counts, what kind of pairing it is, and how often it occurs.

fifty times noun + noun

In this reading “You also speak of causing me much trouble, my land, I have already trouble enough to send a whole brigade of you wise boys over the road fifty times.”

Dear Sir adjective + noun

In this reading “Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.”

on earth preposition + noun

used with question words to convey surprise

In this reading “I will give you a history of this case, and if you are surprised at my actions in regard to your claim for 10.00 you are undoubtedly the worst set of misers on earth.”

in regard preposition + noun

In this reading “I will give you a history of this case, and if you are surprised at my actions in regard to your claim for 10.00 you are undoubtedly the worst set of misers on earth.”

All words in this reading · 90

Every word in these five lines is listed here, and every one of them can be played on its own.

Dictionary details are shown only when verified; these are not licensed Oxford entries.

06

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading WHY THE HAWKEYE MAN COULDN'T PAY Iowa, 12, 3, '06.

10.00

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading I will give you a history of this case, and if you are surprised at my actions in regard to your claim for 10.00 you are undoubtedly the worst set of misers on earth.

12

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading WHY THE HAWKEYE MAN COULDN'T PAY Iowa, 12, 3, '06.

3

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading WHY THE HAWKEYE MAN COULDN'T PAY Iowa, 12, 3, '06.

adeterminerUS /ə/

used before a singular noun to mean one of a group, when it is not a particular one

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

abuseverbUS /əˈbjuːs/

treat badly

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

actionsnounUS /ˈækʃənz/

plural of “action” — something done (usually as opposed to something said)

From this reading I will give you a history of this case, and if you are surprised at my actions in regard to your claim for 10.00 you are undoubtedly the worst set of misers on earth.

affordedverbUS /əˈfɔːrdəd/

past form of “afford” — be able to spare or give up

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

alreadyadverbUS /ɔːlˈredi/

prior to a specified or implied time

From this reading You also speak of causing me much trouble, my land, I have already trouble enough to send a whole brigade of you wise boys over the road fifty times.

alsoadverbUS /ˈɔːlsoʊ/

in addition

From this reading You also speak of causing me much trouble, my land, I have already trouble enough to send a whole brigade of you wise boys over the road fifty times.

amusementnounUS /əˈmjuːzmənt/

a feeling of delight at being entertained

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

andconjunctionUS /ənd/

used to join words or parts of a sentence that go together

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

areauxiliary verbUS /ɑːr/

the form of “be” used with you, we, they, or a plural noun

From this reading You speak of honor, if you are honorable you know not whereof you speak.

atprepositionUS /æt/

in or near a particular place or position

From this reading I will give you a history of this case, and if you are surprised at my actions in regard to your claim for 10.00 you are undoubtedly the worst set of misers on earth.

betteradjectiveUS /ˈbetər/

(comparative of “good”) superior to another (of the same class or set or kind) in excellence or quality or desirability or suitability; more highly skilled than another

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

boysnounUS /bɔɪz/

plural of “boy” — a youthful male person

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

brigadenounUS /brəˈɡeɪd/

army unit smaller than a division

From this reading You also speak of causing me much trouble, my land, I have already trouble enough to send a whole brigade of you wise boys over the road fifty times.

casenounUS /keɪs/

an occurrence of something

From this reading I will give you a history of this case, and if you are surprised at my actions in regard to your claim for 10.00 you are undoubtedly the worst set of misers on earth.

causingnounUS /ˈkɑːzɪŋ/

the act of causing something to happen

From this reading You also speak of causing me much trouble, my land, I have already trouble enough to send a whole brigade of you wise boys over the road fifty times.

claimnounUS /kleɪm/

an assertion of a right (as to money or property)

From this reading I will give you a history of this case, and if you are surprised at my actions in regard to your claim for 10.00 you are undoubtedly the worst set of misers on earth.

comeverbUS /kʌm/

move toward, travel toward something or somebody or approach something or somebody

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

COULDN'T

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading WHY THE HAWKEYE MAN COULDN'T PAY Iowa, 12, 3, '06.

DearadjectiveUS /dɪr/

dearly loved

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

dunnounUS /dʌn/

horse of a dull brownish grey color

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

earthnounUS /ɜːrθ/

the 3rd planet from the sun; the planet we live on

From this reading I will give you a history of this case, and if you are surprised at my actions in regard to your claim for 10.00 you are undoubtedly the worst set of misers on earth.

enoughnounUS /ɪˈnʌf/

an adequate quantity; a quantity that is large enough to achieve a purpose

From this reading You also speak of causing me much trouble, my land, I have already trouble enough to send a whole brigade of you wise boys over the road fifty times.

fiftynounUS /ˈfɪfti/

the cardinal number that is the product of ten and five

From this reading You also speak of causing me much trouble, my land, I have already trouble enough to send a whole brigade of you wise boys over the road fifty times.

forprepositionUS /fɔːr/

intended to be given to, or used by, somebody

From this reading I will give you a history of this case, and if you are surprised at my actions in regard to your claim for 10.00 you are undoubtedly the worst set of misers on earth.

frequentlyadverbUS /ˈfriːkwəntli/

many times at short intervals

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

gentlemannounUS /ˈdʒentəlmən/

a man of refinement

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

giveverbUS /ɡɪv/

cause to have, in the abstract sense or physical sense

From this reading I will give you a history of this case, and if you are surprised at my actions in regard to your claim for 10.00 you are undoubtedly the worst set of misers on earth.

hadauxiliary verbUS /hæd/

the past form of “have”, used to form the past perfect

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

haveauxiliary verbUS /hæv/

used with a past participle to form the perfect tenses

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

HAWKEYE

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading WHY THE HAWKEYE MAN COULDN'T PAY Iowa, 12, 3, '06.

historynounUS /ˈhɪstəri/

the aggregate of past events

From this reading I will give you a history of this case, and if you are surprised at my actions in regard to your claim for 10.00 you are undoubtedly the worst set of misers on earth.

honornounUS /ˈɑːnər/

a tangible symbol signifying approval or distinction

From this reading You speak of honor, if you are honorable you know not whereof you speak.

honorableadjectiveUS /ˈɑːnərəbəl/

not disposed to cheat or defraud; not deceptive or fraudulent

From this reading You speak of honor, if you are honorable you know not whereof you speak.

IpronounUS /aɪ/

the person speaking or writing, as the subject of the verb

From this reading You also speak of causing me much trouble, my land, I have already trouble enough to send a whole brigade of you wise boys over the road fifty times.

ifconjunctionUS /ɪf/

on condition that; in the event that

From this reading You speak of honor, if you are honorable you know not whereof you speak.

inprepositionUS /ɪn/

inside something, or within a place, period, or state

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

IowanounUS /ˈaɪəwə/

a member of the Siouan people formerly living in Iowa and Minnesota and Missouri

From this reading WHY THE HAWKEYE MAN COULDN'T PAY Iowa, 12, 3, '06.

itpronounUS /ɪt/

a thing, animal, or idea already mentioned

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

knowverbUS /noʊ/

be cognizant or aware of a fact or a specific piece of information; possess knowledge or information about

From this reading You speak of honor, if you are honorable you know not whereof you speak.

landnounUS /lænd/

the land on which real estate is located

From this reading You also speak of causing me much trouble, my land, I have already trouble enough to send a whole brigade of you wise boys over the road fifty times.

letternounUS /ˈletər/

a written message addressed to a person or organization

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

MANnounUS /mæn/

an adult person who is male (as opposed to a woman)

From this reading WHY THE HAWKEYE MAN COULDN'T PAY Iowa, 12, 3, '06.

mepronounUS /miː/

the person speaking, as the object of a verb or preposition

From this reading You also speak of causing me much trouble, my land, I have already trouble enough to send a whole brigade of you wise boys over the road fifty times.

melancholynounUS /ˈmelənkɑːli/

a feeling of thoughtful sadness

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

misersnounUS /ˈmaɪzərz/

plural of “miser” — a stingy hoarder of money and possessions (often living miserably)

From this reading I will give you a history of this case, and if you are surprised at my actions in regard to your claim for 10.00 you are undoubtedly the worst set of misers on earth.

muchadverbUS /mʌtʃ/

to a great degree or extent

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

mydeterminerUS /maɪ/

belonging to the person speaking

From this reading You also speak of causing me much trouble, my land, I have already trouble enough to send a whole brigade of you wise boys over the road fifty times.

nodeterminerUS /noʊ/

not any; not one

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

notadverbUS /nɑːt/

used to make a word, phrase, or sentence negative

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

ofprepositionUS /ʌv/

belonging to, or connected with, somebody or something

From this reading You speak of honor, if you are honorable you know not whereof you speak.

onprepositionUS /ɑːn/

touching and supported by a surface

From this reading I will give you a history of this case, and if you are surprised at my actions in regard to your claim for 10.00 you are undoubtedly the worst set of misers on earth.

overprepositionUS /ˈoʊvər/

above and across; more than

From this reading You also speak of causing me much trouble, my land, I have already trouble enough to send a whole brigade of you wise boys over the road fifty times.

PAYverbUS /peɪ/

give money, usually in exchange for goods or services

From this reading WHY THE HAWKEYE MAN COULDN'T PAY Iowa, 12, 3, '06.

receivedadjectiveUS /rəˈsiːvd/

conforming to the established language usage of educated native speakers

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

regardnounUS /rɪˈɡɑːrd/

(usually preceded by “in”) a detail or point

From this reading I will give you a history of this case, and if you are surprised at my actions in regard to your claim for 10.00 you are undoubtedly the worst set of misers on earth.

replynounUS /rɪˈplaɪ/

a statement (either spoken or written) that is made to reply to a question or request or criticism or accusation

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

roadnounUS /roʊd/

an open way (generally public) for travel or transportation

From this reading You also speak of causing me much trouble, my land, I have already trouble enough to send a whole brigade of you wise boys over the road fifty times.

sayverbUS /seɪ/

express in words

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

sendverbUS /send/

cause to go somewhere

From this reading You also speak of causing me much trouble, my land, I have already trouble enough to send a whole brigade of you wise boys over the road fifty times.

sensenounUS /sens/

a general conscious awareness

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

setverbUS /set/

put into a certain place or abstract location

From this reading I will give you a history of this case, and if you are surprised at my actions in regard to your claim for 10.00 you are undoubtedly the worst set of misers on earth.

SirnounUS /sɜːr/

term of address for a man

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

slandernounUS /ˈslændər/

words falsely spoken that damage the reputation of another

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

speakverbUS /spiːk/

express in speech

From this reading You speak of honor, if you are honorable you know not whereof you speak.

sumptuousadjectiveUS /ˈsʌmptʃwəs/

ostentatiously rich and superior in quality

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

surprisedadjectiveUS /sərˈpraɪzd/

taken unawares or suddenly and feeling wonder or astonishment

From this reading I will give you a history of this case, and if you are surprised at my actions in regard to your claim for 10.00 you are undoubtedly the worst set of misers on earth.

thanconjunctionUS /ðæn/

used to introduce the second part of a comparison

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

thatconjunctionUS /ðæt/

used to introduce what somebody said, thought, or felt

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

THEdeterminerUS /ðə/

used before a noun that is already known, already mentioned, or the only one of its kind

From this reading WHY THE HAWKEYE MAN COULDN'T PAY Iowa, 12, 3, '06.

theypronounUS /ðeɪ/

the people, animals, or things already mentioned, as the subject

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

thisdeterminerUS /ðɪs/

used for a person or thing that is near, or that has just been mentioned

From this reading I will give you a history of this case, and if you are surprised at my actions in regard to your claim for 10.00 you are undoubtedly the worst set of misers on earth.

thoughtnounUS /θɔːt/

the content of cognition; the main thing you are thinking about

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

timesnounUS /taɪmz/

a more or less definite period of time now or previously present

From this reading You also speak of causing me much trouble, my land, I have already trouble enough to send a whole brigade of you wise boys over the road fifty times.

toparticleUS /tuː/

used before the base form of a verb to make the infinitive

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

troublenounUS /ˈtrʌbəl/

a source of difficulty

From this reading You also speak of causing me much trouble, my land, I have already trouble enough to send a whole brigade of you wise boys over the road fifty times.

undoubtedlyadverbUS /ənˈdaʊtɪdli/

without doubt; certainly

From this reading I will give you a history of this case, and if you are surprised at my actions in regard to your claim for 10.00 you are undoubtedly the worst set of misers on earth.

whereof

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading You speak of honor, if you are honorable you know not whereof you speak.

wholeadjectiveUS /hoʊl/

including all components without exception; being one unit or constituting the full amount or extent or duration; complete

From this reading You also speak of causing me much trouble, my land, I have already trouble enough to send a whole brigade of you wise boys over the road fifty times.

WHYnounUS /waɪ/

the cause or intention underlying an action or situation, especially in the phrase “the whys and wherefores”

From this reading WHY THE HAWKEYE MAN COULDN'T PAY Iowa, 12, 3, '06.

willmodal verbUS /wɪl/

used to talk about the future, or about willingness

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

wiseadjectiveUS /waɪz/

having or prompted by wisdom or discernment

From this reading You also speak of causing me much trouble, my land, I have already trouble enough to send a whole brigade of you wise boys over the road fifty times.

withprepositionUS /wɪð/

in the company of; together with

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

worstnounUS /wɜːrst/

the least favorable outcome

From this reading I will give you a history of this case, and if you are surprised at my actions in regard to your claim for 10.00 you are undoubtedly the worst set of misers on earth.

wouldmodal verbUS /wʊd/

used for something imagined, polite, or habitual in the past

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

youpronounUS /juː/

the person or people being spoken to

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

YourdeterminerUS /jɔːr/

belonging to the person or people being spoken to

From this reading Dear Sir:--Your sumptuous letter received, and in reply will say that they come frequently, and it would have afforded the boys much amusement had not the melancholy thought come with it that you had no better sense than to abuse, slander and dun a gentleman.

Chapter 3 of The Funny Bone by Henry Martyn [Editor] Kieffer holds 459 sentences, grouped into 92 reading sections of at most 5 sentences. The text is the source edition, unabridged, and the chapter records which sentences cover which part of the work so that nothing is dropped. Every word can be tapped for its pronunciation and dictionary entry.

What does chapter 3 of The Funny Bone contain?

Chapter 3 holds 459 sentences of The Funny Bone, unabridged, divided into 92 reading sections.

This page carries chapter 3 of The Funny Bone by Henry Martyn [Editor] Kieffer exactly as it stands in the source edition, without abridgement. It runs to 459 sentences, grouped into 92 sections of at most 5 sentences so that a reader can take the chapter in steady, finishable pieces. The chapter also stores a coverage record mapping every one of its sentences to a part of the work, which is how the edition demonstrates that no line was dropped.

How do I study chapter 3 of The Funny Bone?

Work through the 92 sections in order, replaying any sentence and tapping unfamiliar words for their entries.

Each of the 92 sections in this chapter is short enough to read once, hear once, and then re-read with the vocabulary in view. Tapping a word plays it alone and opens its dictionary entry with IPA, part of speech and meaning, so the reader is never forced to guess a pronunciation from spelling. Working section by section keeps a long chapter from becoming an undifferentiated wall of text, which is the usual reason a reader abandons a work of this period.

Can chapter 3 be read aloud to me?

Yes — every sentence and every individual word in chapter 3 can be played aloud in United States English.

Audio covers the whole chapter: any sentence can be played, and any single word within it can be played on its own. The voice uses United States English. For a work of this period that matters, because spelling is an unreliable guide to pronunciation for vocabulary that has fallen out of daily use, and a learner who guesses wrong tends to keep the error. Hearing the word in its own sentence, and then alone, settles it.

Questions about reading The Funny Bone

Common questions about reading The Funny Bone by Henry Martyn [Editor] Kieffer on this page, its source edition and its audio.

Is this the complete text of The Funny Bone?

Yes. All 1831 sentences of Project Gutenberg eBook #44643 are kept, with a record of which sentences cover which part.

Which edition of The Funny Bone is used?

Project Gutenberg eBook #44643, unabridged. The Project Gutenberg header, footer and licence are removed.

How long does The Funny Bone take to read?

About 152 minutes of reading across 367 sections of 5 sentences each, at an unhurried pace.

How to read The Funny Bone section by section

How to work through The Funny Bone section by section, using the audio and the tap-to-define vocabulary.

  1. Open a chapter

    Choose one of the 4 chapters of The Funny Bone to begin.

  2. Read one section

    Each section holds 5 sentences; read it once through.

  3. Listen and tap

    Play the section aloud, then tap any unfamiliar word for its entry.

Vocabulary met early in The Funny Bone

Words and structures a reader meets early in The Funny Bone, each tappable for pronunciation and meaning.

Author
A word that appears in the opening chapter of The Funny Bone; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
Recollections
A word that appears in the opening chapter of The Funny Bone; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
Drummer
A word that appears in the opening chapter of The Funny Bone; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
Laugh
A word that appears in the opening chapter of The Funny Bone; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.