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The Inventions of the Idiot
The Inventions of the Idiot

Chapter II

Chapter 2 of The Inventions of the Idiot is here in full — 504 sentences across 101 reading sections, with audio for every sentence and word.

Cover illustration for The Inventions of the Idiot
Context Illustration Reading 1/100 · 5 lines
English subtitles · tap any word to listen 1 / 5
"Or a consolidated first-mortgage bond," remarked the Bibliomaniac.
"Consolidate the Idiot with a man like Chamberlain or the German Emperor, and issue a five-million-dollar mortgage on the result, and you might find people who'd take those bonds at seventy-five."
"You might if they were a dollar bond printed on cartridge-paper," said Mr. Pedagog.
"Then purchasers could paper their walls with them."
"Rail on," said the Idiot.
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AI-generated narration by OpenAI · Slow US English
LEARNER DICTIONARY
Archivist
/ˈɑːrkɪvɪst/
Editorial verification pending

A keeper or guardian of historical records and memories.

The Inventions of the Idiot

Chapter II

Chapter 2 of The Inventions of the Idiot is here in full — 504 sentences across 101 reading sections, with audio for every sentence and word.

Reading 1/100 · 5 reading units · Lines 1–5

Line 1
"Or a consolidated first-mortgage bond," remarked the Bibliomaniac.
Line 2
"Consolidate the Idiot with a man like Chamberlain or the German Emperor, and issue a five-million-dollar mortgage on the result, and you might find people who'd take those bonds at seventy-five."
Line 3
"You might if they were a dollar bond printed on cartridge-paper," said Mr. Pedagog.
Line 4
"Then purchasers could paper their walls with them."
/ðen ˈpɜːrtʃəsərz kʊd ˈpeɪpər ðer wɔːlz wɪð ðem/
Line 5
"Rail on," said the Idiot.
/reɪl ɑːn sed ðə ˈɪdiːət/

Learner Dictionary

These definitions explain words found in the current reading and keep every example grounded in its original sentence.

Oxford-style entry order: headword, part of speech, US IPA, concise definition, contextual example, and audio.

bonds noun US /bɑːndz/

plural of “bond” — an electrical force linking atoms

From this reading “"Consolidate the Idiot with a man like Chamberlain or the German Emperor, and issue a five-million-dollar mortgage on the result, and you might find people who'd take those bonds at seventy-five."”

Chamberlain noun US /ˈtʃeɪmbərlən/

British statesman who as Prime Minister pursued a policy of appeasement toward fascist Germany (1869-1940)

From this reading “"Consolidate the Idiot with a man like Chamberlain or the German Emperor, and issue a five-million-dollar mortgage on the result, and you might find people who'd take those bonds at seventy-five."”

Consolidate verb US /kənˈsɑːlɪdeɪt/

unite into one

From this reading “"Consolidate the Idiot with a man like Chamberlain or the German Emperor, and issue a five-million-dollar mortgage on the result, and you might find people who'd take those bonds at seventy-five."”

consolidated adjective US /kənˈsɑːlədeɪtəd/

joined together into a whole

From this reading “"Or a consolidated first-mortgage bond," remarked the Bibliomaniac.”

Idiot noun US /ˈɪdiːət/

a person of subnormal intelligence

From this reading “"Consolidate the Idiot with a man like Chamberlain or the German Emperor, and issue a five-million-dollar mortgage on the result, and you might find people who'd take those bonds at seventy-five."”

mortgage noun US /ˈmɔːrɡədʒ/

a conditional conveyance of property as security for the repayment of a loan

From this reading “"Or a consolidated first-mortgage bond," remarked the Bibliomaniac.”

purchasers noun US /ˈpɜːrtʃəsərz/

plural of “purchaser” — a person who buys

From this reading “"Then purchasers could paper their walls with them."”

seventy-five adjective US /ˈsevəntifaɪv/

being five more than seventy

From this reading “"Consolidate the Idiot with a man like Chamberlain or the German Emperor, and issue a five-million-dollar mortgage on the result, and you might find people who'd take those bonds at seventy-five."”

All words in this reading · 49

Every word in these five lines is listed here, and every one of them can be played on its own.

Dictionary details are shown only when verified; these are not licensed Oxford entries.

adeterminerUS /ə/

used before a singular noun to mean one of a group, when it is not a particular one

From this reading "Or a consolidated first-mortgage bond," remarked the Bibliomaniac.

andconjunctionUS /ənd/

used to join words or parts of a sentence that go together

From this reading "Consolidate the Idiot with a man like Chamberlain or the German Emperor, and issue a five-million-dollar mortgage on the result, and you might find people who'd take those bonds at seventy-five."

atprepositionUS /æt/

in or near a particular place or position

From this reading "Consolidate the Idiot with a man like Chamberlain or the German Emperor, and issue a five-million-dollar mortgage on the result, and you might find people who'd take those bonds at seventy-five."

Bibliomaniac

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading "Or a consolidated first-mortgage bond," remarked the Bibliomaniac.

bondnounUS /bɑːnd/

an electrical force linking atoms

From this reading "Or a consolidated first-mortgage bond," remarked the Bibliomaniac.

bondsnounUS /bɑːndz/

plural of “bond” — an electrical force linking atoms

From this reading "Consolidate the Idiot with a man like Chamberlain or the German Emperor, and issue a five-million-dollar mortgage on the result, and you might find people who'd take those bonds at seventy-five."

cartridge-paper

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading "You might if they were a dollar bond printed on cartridge-paper," said Mr. Pedagog.

ChamberlainnounUS /ˈtʃeɪmbərlən/

British statesman who as Prime Minister pursued a policy of appeasement toward fascist Germany (1869-1940)

From this reading "Consolidate the Idiot with a man like Chamberlain or the German Emperor, and issue a five-million-dollar mortgage on the result, and you might find people who'd take those bonds at seventy-five."

ConsolidateverbUS /kənˈsɑːlɪdeɪt/

unite into one

From this reading "Consolidate the Idiot with a man like Chamberlain or the German Emperor, and issue a five-million-dollar mortgage on the result, and you might find people who'd take those bonds at seventy-five."

consolidatedadjectiveUS /kənˈsɑːlədeɪtəd/

joined together into a whole

From this reading "Or a consolidated first-mortgage bond," remarked the Bibliomaniac.

couldmodal verbUS /kʊd/

the past of “can”; used for possibility or polite requests

From this reading "Then purchasers could paper their walls with them."

dollarnounUS /ˈdɑːlər/

the basic monetary unit in many countries; equal to 100 cents

From this reading "You might if they were a dollar bond printed on cartridge-paper," said Mr. Pedagog.

EmperornounUS /ˈempərər/

the male ruler of an empire

From this reading "Consolidate the Idiot with a man like Chamberlain or the German Emperor, and issue a five-million-dollar mortgage on the result, and you might find people who'd take those bonds at seventy-five."

findverbUS /faɪnd/

come upon, as if by accident; meet with

From this reading "Consolidate the Idiot with a man like Chamberlain or the German Emperor, and issue a five-million-dollar mortgage on the result, and you might find people who'd take those bonds at seventy-five."

first-mortgage

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading "Or a consolidated first-mortgage bond," remarked the Bibliomaniac.

five-million-dollar

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading "Consolidate the Idiot with a man like Chamberlain or the German Emperor, and issue a five-million-dollar mortgage on the result, and you might find people who'd take those bonds at seventy-five."

GermannounUS /ˈdʒɜːrmən/

a person of German nationality

From this reading "Consolidate the Idiot with a man like Chamberlain or the German Emperor, and issue a five-million-dollar mortgage on the result, and you might find people who'd take those bonds at seventy-five."

IdiotnounUS /ˈɪdiːət/

a person of subnormal intelligence

From this reading "Consolidate the Idiot with a man like Chamberlain or the German Emperor, and issue a five-million-dollar mortgage on the result, and you might find people who'd take those bonds at seventy-five."

ifconjunctionUS /ɪf/

on condition that; in the event that

From this reading "You might if they were a dollar bond printed on cartridge-paper," said Mr. Pedagog.

issueverbUS /ˈɪʃuː/

prepare and issue for public distribution or sale

From this reading "Consolidate the Idiot with a man like Chamberlain or the German Emperor, and issue a five-million-dollar mortgage on the result, and you might find people who'd take those bonds at seventy-five."

likeverbUS /laɪk/

prefer or wish to do something

From this reading "Consolidate the Idiot with a man like Chamberlain or the German Emperor, and issue a five-million-dollar mortgage on the result, and you might find people who'd take those bonds at seventy-five."

mannounUS /mæn/

an adult person who is male (as opposed to a woman)

From this reading "Consolidate the Idiot with a man like Chamberlain or the German Emperor, and issue a five-million-dollar mortgage on the result, and you might find people who'd take those bonds at seventy-five."

mightmodal verbUS /maɪt/

used to say something is possible but not certain

From this reading "Consolidate the Idiot with a man like Chamberlain or the German Emperor, and issue a five-million-dollar mortgage on the result, and you might find people who'd take those bonds at seventy-five."

mortgagenounUS /ˈmɔːrɡədʒ/

a conditional conveyance of property as security for the repayment of a loan

From this reading "Consolidate the Idiot with a man like Chamberlain or the German Emperor, and issue a five-million-dollar mortgage on the result, and you might find people who'd take those bonds at seventy-five."

MrnounUS /ˈmɪstər/

a form of address for a man

From this reading "You might if they were a dollar bond printed on cartridge-paper," said Mr. Pedagog.

onprepositionUS /ɑːn/

touching and supported by a surface

From this reading "Consolidate the Idiot with a man like Chamberlain or the German Emperor, and issue a five-million-dollar mortgage on the result, and you might find people who'd take those bonds at seventy-five."

OrconjunctionUS /ɔːr/

used to join alternatives or possibilities

From this reading "Or a consolidated first-mortgage bond," remarked the Bibliomaniac.

papernounUS /ˈpeɪpər/

a material made of cellulose pulp derived mainly from wood or rags or certain grasses

From this reading "Then purchasers could paper their walls with them."

Pedagognoun

someone who educates young people

From this reading "You might if they were a dollar bond printed on cartridge-paper," said Mr. Pedagog.

peoplenounUS /ˈpiːpəl/

(plural) any group of human beings (men or women or children) collectively

From this reading "Consolidate the Idiot with a man like Chamberlain or the German Emperor, and issue a five-million-dollar mortgage on the result, and you might find people who'd take those bonds at seventy-five."

printedverbUS /ˈprɪntɪd/

past form of “print” — put into print

From this reading "You might if they were a dollar bond printed on cartridge-paper," said Mr. Pedagog.

purchasersnounUS /ˈpɜːrtʃəsərz/

plural of “purchaser” — a person who buys

From this reading "Then purchasers could paper their walls with them."

RailnounUS /reɪl/

a barrier consisting of a horizontal bar and supports

From this reading "Rail on," said the Idiot.

remarkedverbUS /rɪˈmɑːrkt/

past form of “remark” — make mention of

From this reading "Or a consolidated first-mortgage bond," remarked the Bibliomaniac.

resultnounUS /rɪˈzʌlt/

a phenomenon that follows and is caused by some previous phenomenon

From this reading "Consolidate the Idiot with a man like Chamberlain or the German Emperor, and issue a five-million-dollar mortgage on the result, and you might find people who'd take those bonds at seventy-five."

saidadjectiveUS /sed/

being the one previously mentioned or spoken of

From this reading "You might if they were a dollar bond printed on cartridge-paper," said Mr. Pedagog.

seventy-fiveadjectiveUS /ˈsevəntifaɪv/

being five more than seventy

From this reading "Consolidate the Idiot with a man like Chamberlain or the German Emperor, and issue a five-million-dollar mortgage on the result, and you might find people who'd take those bonds at seventy-five."

takeverbUS /teɪk/

carry out

From this reading "Consolidate the Idiot with a man like Chamberlain or the German Emperor, and issue a five-million-dollar mortgage on the result, and you might find people who'd take those bonds at seventy-five."

thedeterminerUS /ðə/

used before a noun that is already known, already mentioned, or the only one of its kind

From this reading "Or a consolidated first-mortgage bond," remarked the Bibliomaniac.

theirdeterminerUS /ðer/

belonging to the people or things already mentioned

From this reading "Then purchasers could paper their walls with them."

thempronounUS /ðem/

the people or things already mentioned, as the object

From this reading "Then purchasers could paper their walls with them."

ThenadverbUS /ðen/

subsequently or soon afterward (often used as sentence connectors)

From this reading "Then purchasers could paper their walls with them."

theypronounUS /ðeɪ/

the people, animals, or things already mentioned, as the subject

From this reading "You might if they were a dollar bond printed on cartridge-paper," said Mr. Pedagog.

thosedeterminerUS /ðoʊz/

the plural of “that”: the people or things further away, or already known

From this reading "Consolidate the Idiot with a man like Chamberlain or the German Emperor, and issue a five-million-dollar mortgage on the result, and you might find people who'd take those bonds at seventy-five."

wallsnounUS /wɔːlz/

plural of “wall” — an architectural partition with a height and length greater than its thickness; used to divide or enclose an area or to support another structure

From this reading "Then purchasers could paper their walls with them."

wereauxiliary verbUS /wɜːr/

the past form of “be” used with you, we, they, or a plural noun

From this reading "You might if they were a dollar bond printed on cartridge-paper," said Mr. Pedagog.

who'd

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading "Consolidate the Idiot with a man like Chamberlain or the German Emperor, and issue a five-million-dollar mortgage on the result, and you might find people who'd take those bonds at seventy-five."

withprepositionUS /wɪð/

in the company of; together with

From this reading "Consolidate the Idiot with a man like Chamberlain or the German Emperor, and issue a five-million-dollar mortgage on the result, and you might find people who'd take those bonds at seventy-five."

youpronounUS /juː/

the person or people being spoken to

From this reading "Consolidate the Idiot with a man like Chamberlain or the German Emperor, and issue a five-million-dollar mortgage on the result, and you might find people who'd take those bonds at seventy-five."

Chapter 2 of The Inventions of the Idiot by John Kendrick Bangs holds 504 sentences, grouped into 101 reading sections of at most 5 sentences. The text is the source edition, unabridged, and the chapter records which sentences cover which part of the work so that nothing is dropped. Every word can be tapped for its pronunciation and dictionary entry.

What does chapter 2 of The Inventions of the Idiot contain?

Chapter 2 holds 504 sentences of The Inventions of the Idiot, unabridged, divided into 101 reading sections.

This page carries chapter 2 of The Inventions of the Idiot by John Kendrick Bangs exactly as it stands in the source edition, without abridgement. It runs to 504 sentences, grouped into 101 sections of at most 5 sentences so that a reader can take the chapter in steady, finishable pieces. The chapter also stores a coverage record mapping every one of its sentences to a part of the work, which is how the edition demonstrates that no line was dropped.

How do I study chapter 2 of The Inventions of the Idiot?

Work through the 101 sections in order, replaying any sentence and tapping unfamiliar words for their entries.

Each of the 101 sections in this chapter is short enough to read once, hear once, and then re-read with the vocabulary in view. Tapping a word plays it alone and opens its dictionary entry with IPA, part of speech and meaning, so the reader is never forced to guess a pronunciation from spelling. Working section by section keeps a long chapter from becoming an undifferentiated wall of text, which is the usual reason a reader abandons a work of this period.

Can chapter 2 be read aloud to me?

Yes — every sentence and every individual word in chapter 2 can be played aloud in United States English.

Audio covers the whole chapter: any sentence can be played, and any single word within it can be played on its own. The voice uses United States English. For a work of this period that matters, because spelling is an unreliable guide to pronunciation for vocabulary that has fallen out of daily use, and a learner who guesses wrong tends to keep the error. Hearing the word in its own sentence, and then alone, settles it.

Questions about reading The Inventions of the Idiot

Common questions about reading The Inventions of the Idiot by John Kendrick Bangs on this page, its source edition and its audio.

Is this the complete text of The Inventions of the Idiot?

Yes. All 1493 sentences of Project Gutenberg eBook #33623 are kept, with a record of which sentences cover which part.

Which edition of The Inventions of the Idiot is used?

Project Gutenberg eBook #33623, unabridged. The Project Gutenberg header, footer and licence are removed.

How long does The Inventions of the Idiot take to read?

About 124 minutes of reading across 299 sections of 5 sentences each, at an unhurried pace.

How to read The Inventions of the Idiot section by section

How to work through The Inventions of the Idiot section by section, using the audio and the tap-to-define vocabulary.

  1. Open a chapter

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  2. Read one section

    Each section holds 5 sentences; read it once through.

  3. Listen and tap

    Play the section aloud, then tap any unfamiliar word for its entry.

Vocabulary met early in The Inventions of the Idiot

Words and structures a reader meets early in The Inventions of the Idiot, each tappable for pronunciation and meaning.

Author
A word that appears in the opening chapter of The Inventions of the Idiot; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
House-boat
A word that appears in the opening chapter of The Inventions of the Idiot; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
Pursuit
A word that appears in the opening chapter of The Inventions of the Idiot; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
Olympian
A word that appears in the opening chapter of The Inventions of the Idiot; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.