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The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VIII (of X)
The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VIII (of X)

Chapter II · Chapter 2

Chapter 2 of The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VIII (of X) is here in full — 403 sentences across 81 reading sections, with audio for every sentence and word.

Cover illustration for The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VIII (of X)
Context Illustration Reading 1/80 · 5 lines
English subtitles · tap any word to listen 1 / 5
"Well, now, I heard about that woman.
She was a tall, thin creature, with no liver left at all, and her chills came three times a week.
She wouldn't work; she was red-headed and had only one straight eye; and as for a tongue--well, I only hope, Colonel Blount, that you and I will never have a chance to meet anything like that.
Of course, I know she was killed.
Her husband just hated her before she died, but blame _me_, just as soon as she was _dead_, he loved her more than if she was his sweetheart all over again.
0:00 / 0:00
Speed 0.75x
AI-generated narration by OpenAI · Slow US English
LEARNER DICTIONARY
Archivist
/ˈɑːrkɪvɪst/
Editorial verification pending

A keeper or guardian of historical records and memories.

The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VIII (of X)

Chapter II · Chapter 2

Chapter 2 of The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VIII (of X) is here in full — 403 sentences across 81 reading sections, with audio for every sentence and word.

Reading 1/80 · 5 reading units · Lines 1–5

Line 1
"Well, now, I heard about that woman.
/wel naʊ aɪ hɜːrd əˈbaʊt ðæt ˈwʊmən/
Line 2
She was a tall, thin creature, with no liver left at all, and her chills came three times a week.
/ʃiː wɑːz ə tɔːl θɪn ˈkriːtʃər wɪð noʊ ˈlɪvər left æt ɔːl ənd hɜːr tʃɪlz keɪm θriː taɪmz ə wiːk/
Line 3
She wouldn't work; she was red-headed and had only one straight eye; and as for a tongue--well, I only hope, Colonel Blount, that you and I will never have a chance to meet anything like that.
Line 4
Of course, I know she was killed.
/ʌv kɔːrs aɪ noʊ ʃiː wɑːz kɪld/
Line 5
Her husband just hated her before she died, but blame _me_, just as soon as she was _dead_, he loved her more than if she was his sweetheart all over again.
/hɜːr ˈhʌzbənd dʒʌst ˈheɪtəd hɜːr bɪˈfɔːr ʃiː daɪd bʌt bleɪm miː dʒʌst æz suːn æz ʃiː wɑːz ded hiː lʌvd hɜːr mɔːr ðæn ɪf ʃiː wɑːz hɪz ˈswiːthɑːrt ɔːl ˈoʊvər əˈɡen/

Learner Dictionary

These definitions explain words found in the current reading and keep every example grounded in its original sentence.

Oxford-style entry order: headword, part of speech, US IPA, concise definition, contextual example, and audio.

blame verb US /bleɪm/

put or pin the blame on

From this reading “Her husband just hated her before she died, but blame _me_, just as soon as she was _dead_, he loved her more than if she was his sweetheart all over again.”

chills noun US /tʃɪlz/

plural of “chill” — coldness due to a cold environment

From this reading “She was a tall, thin creature, with no liver left at all, and her chills came three times a week.”

hated adjective US /ˈheɪtəd/

treated with dislike or contempt

From this reading “Her husband just hated her before she died, but blame _me_, just as soon as she was _dead_, he loved her more than if she was his sweetheart all over again.”

killed verb US /kɪld/

past form of “kill” — cause to die; put to death, usually intentionally or knowingly

From this reading “Of course, I know she was killed.”

liver noun US /ˈlɪvər/

large and complicated reddish-brown glandular organ located in the upper right portion of the abdominal cavity

From this reading “She was a tall, thin creature, with no liver left at all, and her chills came three times a week.”

sweetheart noun US /ˈswiːthɑːrt/

a person loved by another person

From this reading “Her husband just hated her before she died, but blame _me_, just as soon as she was _dead_, he loved her more than if she was his sweetheart all over again.”

thin adjective US /θɪn/

Having little thickness or extent.

From this reading “She was a tall, thin creature, with no liver left at all, and her chills came three times a week.”

tongue noun US /tʌŋ/

a mobile mass of muscular tissue covered with mucous membrane and located in the oral cavity

From this reading “She wouldn't work; she was red-headed and had only one straight eye; and as for a tongue--well, I only hope, Colonel Blount, that you and I will never have a chance to meet anything like that.”

All words in this reading · 72

Every word in these five lines is listed here, and every one of them can be played on its own.

Dictionary details are shown only when verified; these are not licensed Oxford entries.

adeterminerUS /ə/

used before a singular noun to mean one of a group, when it is not a particular one

From this reading She was a tall, thin creature, with no liver left at all, and her chills came three times a week.

aboutprepositionUS /əˈbaʊt/

on the subject of; concerning

From this reading "Well, now, I heard about that woman.

againadverbUS /əˈɡen/

anew

From this reading Her husband just hated her before she died, but blame _me_, just as soon as she was _dead_, he loved her more than if she was his sweetheart all over again.

alladjectiveUS /ɔːl/

(quantifier) used with either mass or count nouns to indicate the whole number or amount of or every one of a class

From this reading She was a tall, thin creature, with no liver left at all, and her chills came three times a week.

andconjunctionUS /ənd/

used to join words or parts of a sentence that go together

From this reading She was a tall, thin creature, with no liver left at all, and her chills came three times a week.

anythingpronounUS /ˈeniθɪŋ/

any thing at all

From this reading She wouldn't work; she was red-headed and had only one straight eye; and as for a tongue--well, I only hope, Colonel Blount, that you and I will never have a chance to meet anything like that.

asconjunctionUS /æz/

at the same time that; because; in the way that

From this reading She wouldn't work; she was red-headed and had only one straight eye; and as for a tongue--well, I only hope, Colonel Blount, that you and I will never have a chance to meet anything like that.

atprepositionUS /æt/

in or near a particular place or position

From this reading She was a tall, thin creature, with no liver left at all, and her chills came three times a week.

beforeprepositionUS /bɪˈfɔːr/

earlier than; in front of

From this reading Her husband just hated her before she died, but blame _me_, just as soon as she was _dead_, he loved her more than if she was his sweetheart all over again.

blameverbUS /bleɪm/

put or pin the blame on

From this reading Her husband just hated her before she died, but blame _me_, just as soon as she was _dead_, he loved her more than if she was his sweetheart all over again.

Blount

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading She wouldn't work; she was red-headed and had only one straight eye; and as for a tongue--well, I only hope, Colonel Blount, that you and I will never have a chance to meet anything like that.

butconjunctionUS /bʌt/

used to introduce something that contrasts with what came before

From this reading Her husband just hated her before she died, but blame _me_, just as soon as she was _dead_, he loved her more than if she was his sweetheart all over again.

cameverbUS /keɪm/

inflected form of “come” — move toward, travel toward something or somebody or approach something or somebody

From this reading She was a tall, thin creature, with no liver left at all, and her chills came three times a week.

chancenounUS /tʃæns/

a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances

From this reading She wouldn't work; she was red-headed and had only one straight eye; and as for a tongue--well, I only hope, Colonel Blount, that you and I will never have a chance to meet anything like that.

chillsnounUS /tʃɪlz/

plural of “chill” — coldness due to a cold environment

From this reading She was a tall, thin creature, with no liver left at all, and her chills came three times a week.

ColonelnounUS /ˈkɜːrnəl/

a commissioned military officer in the United States Army or Air Force or Marines who ranks above a lieutenant colonel and below a brigadier general

From this reading She wouldn't work; she was red-headed and had only one straight eye; and as for a tongue--well, I only hope, Colonel Blount, that you and I will never have a chance to meet anything like that.

coursenounUS /kɔːrs/

education imparted in a series of lessons or meetings

From this reading Of course, I know she was killed.

creaturenounUS /ˈkriːtʃər/

a living organism characterized by voluntary movement

From this reading She was a tall, thin creature, with no liver left at all, and her chills came three times a week.

deadadjectiveUS /ded/

no longer having or seeming to have or expecting to have life

From this reading Her husband just hated her before she died, but blame _me_, just as soon as she was _dead_, he loved her more than if she was his sweetheart all over again.

diedverbUS /daɪd/

past form of “die” — pass from physical life and lose all bodily attributes and functions necessary to sustain life

From this reading Her husband just hated her before she died, but blame _me_, just as soon as she was _dead_, he loved her more than if she was his sweetheart all over again.

eyenounUS /aɪ/

the organ of sight

From this reading She wouldn't work; she was red-headed and had only one straight eye; and as for a tongue--well, I only hope, Colonel Blount, that you and I will never have a chance to meet anything like that.

forprepositionUS /fɔːr/

intended to be given to, or used by, somebody

From this reading She wouldn't work; she was red-headed and had only one straight eye; and as for a tongue--well, I only hope, Colonel Blount, that you and I will never have a chance to meet anything like that.

hadauxiliary verbUS /hæd/

the past form of “have”, used to form the past perfect

From this reading She wouldn't work; she was red-headed and had only one straight eye; and as for a tongue--well, I only hope, Colonel Blount, that you and I will never have a chance to meet anything like that.

hatedadjectiveUS /ˈheɪtəd/

treated with dislike or contempt

From this reading Her husband just hated her before she died, but blame _me_, just as soon as she was _dead_, he loved her more than if she was his sweetheart all over again.

haveauxiliary verbUS /hæv/

used with a past participle to form the perfect tenses

From this reading She wouldn't work; she was red-headed and had only one straight eye; and as for a tongue--well, I only hope, Colonel Blount, that you and I will never have a chance to meet anything like that.

hepronounUS /hiː/

a man, boy, or male animal already mentioned, as the subject

From this reading Her husband just hated her before she died, but blame _me_, just as soon as she was _dead_, he loved her more than if she was his sweetheart all over again.

heardadjectiveUS /hɜːrd/

detected or perceived by the sense of hearing

From this reading "Well, now, I heard about that woman.

herdeterminerUS /hɜːr/

belonging to a woman, girl, or female animal already mentioned

From this reading She was a tall, thin creature, with no liver left at all, and her chills came three times a week.

hisdeterminerUS /hɪz/

belonging to a man, boy, or male animal already mentioned

From this reading Her husband just hated her before she died, but blame _me_, just as soon as she was _dead_, he loved her more than if she was his sweetheart all over again.

hopenounUS /hoʊp/

a specific instance of feeling hopeful

From this reading She wouldn't work; she was red-headed and had only one straight eye; and as for a tongue--well, I only hope, Colonel Blount, that you and I will never have a chance to meet anything like that.

husbandnounUS /ˈhʌzbənd/

a married man; a woman's partner in marriage

From this reading Her husband just hated her before she died, but blame _me_, just as soon as she was _dead_, he loved her more than if she was his sweetheart all over again.

IpronounUS /aɪ/

the person speaking or writing, as the subject of the verb

From this reading "Well, now, I heard about that woman.

ifconjunctionUS /ɪf/

on condition that; in the event that

From this reading Her husband just hated her before she died, but blame _me_, just as soon as she was _dead_, he loved her more than if she was his sweetheart all over again.

justadverbUS /dʒʌst/

and nothing more

From this reading Her husband just hated her before she died, but blame _me_, just as soon as she was _dead_, he loved her more than if she was his sweetheart all over again.

killedverbUS /kɪld/

past form of “kill” — cause to die; put to death, usually intentionally or knowingly

From this reading Of course, I know she was killed.

knowverbUS /noʊ/

be cognizant or aware of a fact or a specific piece of information; possess knowledge or information about

From this reading Of course, I know she was killed.

leftnounUS /left/

location near or direction toward the left side; i.e. the side to the north when a person or object faces east

From this reading She was a tall, thin creature, with no liver left at all, and her chills came three times a week.

likeverbUS /laɪk/

prefer or wish to do something

From this reading She wouldn't work; she was red-headed and had only one straight eye; and as for a tongue--well, I only hope, Colonel Blount, that you and I will never have a chance to meet anything like that.

livernounUS /ˈlɪvər/

large and complicated reddish-brown glandular organ located in the upper right portion of the abdominal cavity

From this reading She was a tall, thin creature, with no liver left at all, and her chills came three times a week.

lovedadjectiveUS /lʌvd/

held dear

From this reading Her husband just hated her before she died, but blame _me_, just as soon as she was _dead_, he loved her more than if she was his sweetheart all over again.

mepronounUS /miː/

the person speaking, as the object of a verb or preposition

From this reading Her husband just hated her before she died, but blame _me_, just as soon as she was _dead_, he loved her more than if she was his sweetheart all over again.

meetverbUS /miːt/

come together

From this reading She wouldn't work; she was red-headed and had only one straight eye; and as for a tongue--well, I only hope, Colonel Blount, that you and I will never have a chance to meet anything like that.

moreadjectiveUS /mɔːr/

(comparative of “much” used with mass nouns) a quantifier meaning greater in size or amount or extent or degree

From this reading Her husband just hated her before she died, but blame _me_, just as soon as she was _dead_, he loved her more than if she was his sweetheart all over again.

neveradverbUS /ˈnevər/

not ever; at no time in the past or future

From this reading She wouldn't work; she was red-headed and had only one straight eye; and as for a tongue--well, I only hope, Colonel Blount, that you and I will never have a chance to meet anything like that.

nodeterminerUS /noʊ/

not any; not one

From this reading She was a tall, thin creature, with no liver left at all, and her chills came three times a week.

nowadverbUS /naʊ/

in the historical present; at this point in the narration of a series of past events

From this reading "Well, now, I heard about that woman.

OfprepositionUS /ʌv/

belonging to, or connected with, somebody or something

From this reading Of course, I know she was killed.

onepronounUS /wʌn/

used to mean any person in general, including the speaker

From this reading She wouldn't work; she was red-headed and had only one straight eye; and as for a tongue--well, I only hope, Colonel Blount, that you and I will never have a chance to meet anything like that.

onlyadverbUS /ˈoʊnli/

and nothing more

From this reading She wouldn't work; she was red-headed and had only one straight eye; and as for a tongue--well, I only hope, Colonel Blount, that you and I will never have a chance to meet anything like that.

overprepositionUS /ˈoʊvər/

above and across; more than

From this reading Her husband just hated her before she died, but blame _me_, just as soon as she was _dead_, he loved her more than if she was his sweetheart all over again.

red-headed

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading She wouldn't work; she was red-headed and had only one straight eye; and as for a tongue--well, I only hope, Colonel Blount, that you and I will never have a chance to meet anything like that.

ShepronounUS /ʃiː/

a woman, girl, or female animal already mentioned, as the subject

From this reading She was a tall, thin creature, with no liver left at all, and her chills came three times a week.

soonadverbUS /suːn/

in the near future

From this reading Her husband just hated her before she died, but blame _me_, just as soon as she was _dead_, he loved her more than if she was his sweetheart all over again.

straightadjectiveUS /streɪt/

successive (without a break)

From this reading She wouldn't work; she was red-headed and had only one straight eye; and as for a tongue--well, I only hope, Colonel Blount, that you and I will never have a chance to meet anything like that.

sweetheartnounUS /ˈswiːthɑːrt/

a person loved by another person

From this reading Her husband just hated her before she died, but blame _me_, just as soon as she was _dead_, he loved her more than if she was his sweetheart all over again.

talladjectiveUS /tɔːl/

great in vertical dimension; high in stature

From this reading She was a tall, thin creature, with no liver left at all, and her chills came three times a week.

thanconjunctionUS /ðæn/

used to introduce the second part of a comparison

From this reading Her husband just hated her before she died, but blame _me_, just as soon as she was _dead_, he loved her more than if she was his sweetheart all over again.

thatconjunctionUS /ðæt/

used to introduce what somebody said, thought, or felt

From this reading "Well, now, I heard about that woman.

thinadjectiveUS /θɪn/

Having little thickness or extent.

From this reading She was a tall, thin creature, with no liver left at all, and her chills came three times a week.

threenounUS /θriː/

the cardinal number that is the sum of one and one and one

From this reading She was a tall, thin creature, with no liver left at all, and her chills came three times a week.

timesnounUS /taɪmz/

a more or less definite period of time now or previously present

From this reading She was a tall, thin creature, with no liver left at all, and her chills came three times a week.

toparticleUS /tuː/

used before the base form of a verb to make the infinitive

From this reading She wouldn't work; she was red-headed and had only one straight eye; and as for a tongue--well, I only hope, Colonel Blount, that you and I will never have a chance to meet anything like that.

tonguenounUS /tʌŋ/

a mobile mass of muscular tissue covered with mucous membrane and located in the oral cavity

From this reading She wouldn't work; she was red-headed and had only one straight eye; and as for a tongue--well, I only hope, Colonel Blount, that you and I will never have a chance to meet anything like that.

wasauxiliary verbUS /wɑːz/

the past form of “be” used with I, he, she, it, or a singular noun

From this reading She was a tall, thin creature, with no liver left at all, and her chills came three times a week.

weeknounUS /wiːk/

any period of seven consecutive days

From this reading She was a tall, thin creature, with no liver left at all, and her chills came three times a week.

WelladverbUS /wel/

(often used as a combining form) in a good or proper or satisfactory manner or to a high standard (“good” is a nonstandard dialectal variant for “well”)

From this reading "Well, now, I heard about that woman.

willmodal verbUS /wɪl/

used to talk about the future, or about willingness

From this reading She wouldn't work; she was red-headed and had only one straight eye; and as for a tongue--well, I only hope, Colonel Blount, that you and I will never have a chance to meet anything like that.

withprepositionUS /wɪð/

in the company of; together with

From this reading She was a tall, thin creature, with no liver left at all, and her chills came three times a week.

womannounUS /ˈwʊmən/

an adult female person (as opposed to a man)

From this reading "Well, now, I heard about that woman.

workverbUS /wɜːrk/

exert oneself by doing mental or physical work for a purpose or out of necessity

From this reading She wouldn't work; she was red-headed and had only one straight eye; and as for a tongue--well, I only hope, Colonel Blount, that you and I will never have a chance to meet anything like that.

wouldn't

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading She wouldn't work; she was red-headed and had only one straight eye; and as for a tongue--well, I only hope, Colonel Blount, that you and I will never have a chance to meet anything like that.

youpronounUS /juː/

the person or people being spoken to

From this reading She wouldn't work; she was red-headed and had only one straight eye; and as for a tongue--well, I only hope, Colonel Blount, that you and I will never have a chance to meet anything like that.

Chapter 2 of The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VIII (of X) by Marshall P. (Marshall Pinckney) [Editor] Wilder holds 403 sentences, grouped into 81 reading sections of at most 5 sentences. The text is the source edition, unabridged, and the chapter records which sentences cover which part of the work so that nothing is dropped. Every word can be tapped for its pronunciation and dictionary entry.

What does chapter 2 of The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VIII (of X) contain?

Chapter 2 holds 403 sentences of The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VIII (of X), unabridged, divided into 81 reading sections.

This page carries chapter 2 of The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VIII (of X) by Marshall P. (Marshall Pinckney) [Editor] Wilder exactly as it stands in the source edition, without abridgement. It runs to 403 sentences, grouped into 81 sections of at most 5 sentences so that a reader can take the chapter in steady, finishable pieces. The chapter also stores a coverage record mapping every one of its sentences to a part of the work, which is how the edition demonstrates that no line was dropped.

How do I study chapter 2 of The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VIII (of X)?

Work through the 81 sections in order, replaying any sentence and tapping unfamiliar words for their entries.

Each of the 81 sections in this chapter is short enough to read once, hear once, and then re-read with the vocabulary in view. Tapping a word plays it alone and opens its dictionary entry with IPA, part of speech and meaning, so the reader is never forced to guess a pronunciation from spelling. Working section by section keeps a long chapter from becoming an undifferentiated wall of text, which is the usual reason a reader abandons a work of this period.

Can chapter 2 be read aloud to me?

Yes — every sentence and every individual word in chapter 2 can be played aloud in United States English.

Audio covers the whole chapter: any sentence can be played, and any single word within it can be played on its own. The voice uses United States English. For a work of this period that matters, because spelling is an unreliable guide to pronunciation for vocabulary that has fallen out of daily use, and a learner who guesses wrong tends to keep the error. Hearing the word in its own sentence, and then alone, settles it.

Questions about reading The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VIII (of X)

Common questions about reading The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VIII (of X) by Marshall P. (Marshall Pinckney) [Editor] Wilder on this page, its source edition and its audio.

Is this the complete text of The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VIII (of X)?

Yes. All 3577 sentences of Project Gutenberg eBook #24432 are kept, with a record of which sentences cover which part.

Which edition of The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VIII (of X) is used?

Project Gutenberg eBook #24432, unabridged. The Project Gutenberg header, footer and licence are removed.

How long does The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VIII (of X) take to read?

About 298 minutes of reading across 716 sections of 5 sentences each, at an unhurried pace.

How to read The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VIII (of X) section by section

How to work through The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VIII (of X) section by section, using the audio and the tap-to-define vocabulary.

  1. Open a chapter

    Choose one of the 9 chapters of The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VIII (of X) to begin.

  2. Read one section

    Each section holds 5 sentences; read it once through.

  3. Listen and tap

    Play the section aloud, then tap any unfamiliar word for its entry.

Vocabulary met early in The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VIII (of X)

Words and structures a reader meets early in The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VIII (of X), each tappable for pronunciation and meaning.

Wagnalls
A word that appears in the opening chapter of The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VIII (of X); the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
Company
A word that appears in the opening chapter of The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VIII (of X); the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
London
A word that appears in the opening chapter of The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VIII (of X); the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
Everything
A word that appears in the opening chapter of The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VIII (of X); the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.