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The Philosopher's Joke
The Philosopher's Joke

Chapter II · Chapter 2

Chapter 2 of The Philosopher's Joke is here in full — 191 sentences across 39 reading sections, with audio for every sentence and word.

Cover illustration for The Philosopher's Joke
Context Illustration Reading 1/38 · 5 lines
English subtitles · tap any word to listen 1 / 5
"Judging from your talk this evening," continued the peak-faced little gentleman, "you should welcome my offer.
You appear to me to be one and all of exceptional intelligence.
You perceive the mistakes that you have made: you understand the causes.
The future veiled, you could not help yourselves.
What I propose to do is to put you back twenty years.
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AI-generated narration by OpenAI · Slow US English
LEARNER DICTIONARY
Archivist
/ˈɑːrkɪvɪst/
Editorial verification pending

A keeper or guardian of historical records and memories.

The Philosopher's Joke

Chapter II · Chapter 2

Chapter 2 of The Philosopher's Joke is here in full — 191 sentences across 39 reading sections, with audio for every sentence and word.

Reading 1/38 · 5 reading units · Lines 1–5

Line 1
"Judging from your talk this evening," continued the peak-faced little gentleman, "you should welcome my offer.
Line 2
You appear to me to be one and all of exceptional intelligence.
/juː əˈpɪr tuː miː tuː biː wʌn ənd ɔːl ʌv ɪkˈsepʃənəl ˌɪnˈtelədʒəns/
Line 3
You perceive the mistakes that you have made: you understand the causes.
/juː pərˈsiːv ðə mɪˈsteɪks ðæt juː hæv meɪd juː ˌʌndərˈstænd ðə ˈkɑːzəz/
Line 4
The future veiled, you could not help yourselves.
/ðə ˈfjuːtʃər veɪld juː kʊd nɑːt help jʊrˈselvz/
Line 5
What I propose to do is to put you back twenty years.
/wʌt aɪ prəˈpoʊz tuː duː ɪz tuː pʊt juː bæk ˈtwenti jɪrz/

Learner Dictionary

These definitions explain words found in the current reading and keep every example grounded in its original sentence.

Oxford-style entry order: headword, part of speech, US IPA, concise definition, contextual example, and audio.

causes noun US /ˈkɑːzəz/

plural of “cause” — events that provide the generative force that is the origin of something

From this reading “You perceive the mistakes that you have made: you understand the causes.”

exceptional adjective US /ɪkˈsepʃənəl/

far beyond what is usual in magnitude or degree

From this reading “You appear to me to be one and all of exceptional intelligence.”

Judging noun US /ˈdʒʌdʒɪŋ/

the cognitive process of reaching a decision or drawing conclusions

From this reading “"Judging from your talk this evening," continued the peak-faced little gentleman, "you should welcome my offer.”

mistakes noun US /mɪˈsteɪks/

plural of “mistake” — a wrong action attributable to bad judgment or ignorance or inattention

From this reading “You perceive the mistakes that you have made: you understand the causes.”

perceive verb US /pərˈsiːv/

to become aware of through the senses

From this reading “You perceive the mistakes that you have made: you understand the causes.”

propose verb US /prəˈpoʊz/

make a proposal, declare a plan for something

From this reading “What I propose to do is to put you back twenty years.”

veiled adjective US /veɪld/

having or as if having a veil or concealing cover

From this reading “The future veiled, you could not help yourselves.”

yourselves pronoun US /jʊrˈselvz/

used when the people spoken to are both doing and receiving the action

From this reading “The future veiled, you could not help yourselves.”

All words in this reading · 48

Every word in these five lines is listed here, and every one of them can be played on its own.

Dictionary details are shown only when verified; these are not licensed Oxford entries.

alladjectiveUS /ɔːl/

(quantifier) used with either mass or count nouns to indicate the whole number or amount of or every one of a class

From this reading You appear to me to be one and all of exceptional intelligence.

andconjunctionUS /ənd/

used to join words or parts of a sentence that go together

From this reading You appear to me to be one and all of exceptional intelligence.

appearverbUS /əˈpɪr/

give a certain impression or have a certain outward aspect

From this reading You appear to me to be one and all of exceptional intelligence.

backadverbUS /bæk/

in or to or toward a former location

From this reading What I propose to do is to put you back twenty years.

beauxiliary verbUS /biː/

used with a past participle to form the passive, or with -ing for continuous tenses

From this reading You appear to me to be one and all of exceptional intelligence.

causesnounUS /ˈkɑːzəz/

plural of “cause” — events that provide the generative force that is the origin of something

From this reading You perceive the mistakes that you have made: you understand the causes.

continuedadjectiveUS /kənˈtɪnjuːd/

without stop or interruption

From this reading "Judging from your talk this evening," continued the peak-faced little gentleman, "you should welcome my offer.

couldmodal verbUS /kʊd/

the past of “can”; used for possibility or polite requests

From this reading The future veiled, you could not help yourselves.

doauxiliary verbUS /duː/

used to form questions and negatives, and to give emphasis

From this reading What I propose to do is to put you back twenty years.

eveningnounUS /ˈiːvnɪŋ/

the latter part of the day (the period of decreasing daylight from late afternoon until nightfall)

From this reading "Judging from your talk this evening," continued the peak-faced little gentleman, "you should welcome my offer.

exceptionaladjectiveUS /ɪkˈsepʃənəl/

far beyond what is usual in magnitude or degree

From this reading You appear to me to be one and all of exceptional intelligence.

fromprepositionUS /frʌm/

showing where something starts, or who sent it

From this reading "Judging from your talk this evening," continued the peak-faced little gentleman, "you should welcome my offer.

futureadjectiveUS /ˈfjuːtʃər/

yet to be or coming

From this reading The future veiled, you could not help yourselves.

gentlemannounUS /ˈdʒentəlmən/

a man of refinement

From this reading "Judging from your talk this evening," continued the peak-faced little gentleman, "you should welcome my offer.

haveauxiliary verbUS /hæv/

used with a past participle to form the perfect tenses

From this reading You perceive the mistakes that you have made: you understand the causes.

helpverbUS /help/

give help or assistance; be of service

From this reading The future veiled, you could not help yourselves.

IpronounUS /aɪ/

the person speaking or writing, as the subject of the verb

From this reading What I propose to do is to put you back twenty years.

intelligencenounUS /ˌɪnˈtelədʒəns/

the ability to comprehend; to understand and profit from experience

From this reading You appear to me to be one and all of exceptional intelligence.

isauxiliary verbUS /ɪz/

the form of “be” used with he, she, it, or a singular noun

From this reading What I propose to do is to put you back twenty years.

JudgingnounUS /ˈdʒʌdʒɪŋ/

the cognitive process of reaching a decision or drawing conclusions

From this reading "Judging from your talk this evening," continued the peak-faced little gentleman, "you should welcome my offer.

littleadjectiveUS /ˈlɪtəl/

limited or below average in number or quantity or magnitude or extent

From this reading "Judging from your talk this evening," continued the peak-faced little gentleman, "you should welcome my offer.

madeadjectiveUS /meɪd/

produced by a manufacturing process

From this reading You perceive the mistakes that you have made: you understand the causes.

mepronounUS /miː/

the person speaking, as the object of a verb or preposition

From this reading You appear to me to be one and all of exceptional intelligence.

mistakesnounUS /mɪˈsteɪks/

plural of “mistake” — a wrong action attributable to bad judgment or ignorance or inattention

From this reading You perceive the mistakes that you have made: you understand the causes.

mydeterminerUS /maɪ/

belonging to the person speaking

From this reading "Judging from your talk this evening," continued the peak-faced little gentleman, "you should welcome my offer.

notadverbUS /nɑːt/

used to make a word, phrase, or sentence negative

From this reading The future veiled, you could not help yourselves.

ofprepositionUS /ʌv/

belonging to, or connected with, somebody or something

From this reading You appear to me to be one and all of exceptional intelligence.

offerverbUS /ˈɔːfər/

make available or accessible, provide or furnish

From this reading "Judging from your talk this evening," continued the peak-faced little gentleman, "you should welcome my offer.

onepronounUS /wʌn/

used to mean any person in general, including the speaker

From this reading You appear to me to be one and all of exceptional intelligence.

peak-faced

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading "Judging from your talk this evening," continued the peak-faced little gentleman, "you should welcome my offer.

perceiveverbUS /pərˈsiːv/

to become aware of through the senses

From this reading You perceive the mistakes that you have made: you understand the causes.

proposeverbUS /prəˈpoʊz/

make a proposal, declare a plan for something

From this reading What I propose to do is to put you back twenty years.

putverbUS /pʊt/

put into a certain place or abstract location

From this reading What I propose to do is to put you back twenty years.

shouldmodal verbUS /ʃʊd/

used to say what is right, expected, or advisable

From this reading "Judging from your talk this evening," continued the peak-faced little gentleman, "you should welcome my offer.

talkverbUS /tɔːk/

exchange thoughts; talk with

From this reading "Judging from your talk this evening," continued the peak-faced little gentleman, "you should welcome my offer.

thatconjunctionUS /ðæt/

used to introduce what somebody said, thought, or felt

From this reading You perceive the mistakes that you have made: you understand the causes.

thedeterminerUS /ðə/

used before a noun that is already known, already mentioned, or the only one of its kind

From this reading "Judging from your talk this evening," continued the peak-faced little gentleman, "you should welcome my offer.

thisdeterminerUS /ðɪs/

used for a person or thing that is near, or that has just been mentioned

From this reading "Judging from your talk this evening," continued the peak-faced little gentleman, "you should welcome my offer.

toparticleUS /tuː/

used before the base form of a verb to make the infinitive

From this reading You appear to me to be one and all of exceptional intelligence.

twentynounUS /ˈtwenti/

the cardinal number that is the sum of nineteen and one

From this reading What I propose to do is to put you back twenty years.

understandverbUS /ˌʌndərˈstænd/

know and comprehend the nature or meaning of

From this reading You perceive the mistakes that you have made: you understand the causes.

veiledadjectiveUS /veɪld/

having or as if having a veil or concealing cover

From this reading The future veiled, you could not help yourselves.

welcomeverbUS /ˈwelkəm/

accept gladly

From this reading "Judging from your talk this evening," continued the peak-faced little gentleman, "you should welcome my offer.

WhatpronounUS /wʌt/

used to ask for information about something

From this reading What I propose to do is to put you back twenty years.

yearsnounUS /jɪrz/

a late time of life

From this reading What I propose to do is to put you back twenty years.

youpronounUS /juː/

the person or people being spoken to

From this reading "Judging from your talk this evening," continued the peak-faced little gentleman, "you should welcome my offer.

yourdeterminerUS /jɔːr/

belonging to the person or people being spoken to

From this reading "Judging from your talk this evening," continued the peak-faced little gentleman, "you should welcome my offer.

yourselvespronounUS /jʊrˈselvz/

used when the people spoken to are both doing and receiving the action

From this reading The future veiled, you could not help yourselves.

Chapter 2 of The Philosopher's Joke by Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka) Jerome holds 191 sentences, grouped into 39 reading sections of at most 5 sentences. The text is the public-domain source, unabridged, and the chapter records which sentences cover which part of the work so that nothing is dropped. Every word can be tapped for its pronunciation and dictionary entry.

What does chapter 2 of The Philosopher's Joke contain?

Chapter 2 holds 191 sentences of The Philosopher's Joke, unabridged, divided into 39 reading sections.

This page carries chapter 2 of The Philosopher's Joke by Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka) Jerome exactly as it stands in the public-domain source edition, without abridgement. It runs to 191 sentences, grouped into 39 sections of at most 5 sentences so that a reader can take the chapter in steady, finishable pieces. The chapter also stores a coverage record mapping every one of its sentences to a part of the work, which is how the edition demonstrates that no line was dropped.

How do I study chapter 2 of The Philosopher's Joke?

Work through the 39 sections in order, replaying any sentence and tapping unfamiliar words for their entries.

Each of the 39 sections in this chapter is short enough to read once, hear once, and then re-read with the vocabulary in view. Tapping a word plays it alone and opens its dictionary entry with IPA, part of speech and meaning, so the reader is never forced to guess a pronunciation from spelling. Working section by section keeps a long chapter from becoming an undifferentiated wall of text, which is the usual reason a reader abandons a work of this period.

Can chapter 2 be read aloud to me?

Yes — every sentence and every individual word in chapter 2 can be played aloud in United States English.

Audio covers the whole chapter: any sentence can be played, and any single word within it can be played on its own. The voice uses United States English. For a work of this period that matters, because spelling is an unreliable guide to pronunciation for vocabulary that has fallen out of daily use, and a learner who guesses wrong tends to keep the error. Hearing the word in its own sentence, and then alone, settles it.

Questions about reading The Philosopher's Joke

Common questions about reading The Philosopher's Joke by Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka) Jerome on this page, its source edition and its audio.

Is this the complete text of The Philosopher's Joke?

Yes. All 371 sentences of Project Gutenberg eBook #868 are kept, with a record of which sentences cover which part.

Which edition of The Philosopher's Joke is used?

Project Gutenberg eBook #868, a public-domain edition. The Project Gutenberg header, footer and licence are removed.

How long does The Philosopher's Joke take to read?

About 30 minutes of reading across 75 sections of 5 sentences each, at an unhurried pace.

How to read The Philosopher's Joke section by section

How to work through The Philosopher's Joke section by section, using the audio and the tap-to-define vocabulary.

  1. Open a chapter

    Choose one of the 2 chapters of The Philosopher's Joke to begin.

  2. Read one section

    Each section holds 5 sentences; read it once through.

  3. Listen and tap

    Play the section aloud, then tap any unfamiliar word for its entry.

Vocabulary met early in The Philosopher's Joke

Words and structures a reader meets early in The Philosopher's Joke, each tappable for pronunciation and meaning.

Author
A word that appears in the opening chapter of The Philosopher's Joke; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
Kelver
A word that appears in the opening chapter of The Philosopher's Joke; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
Three
A word that appears in the opening chapter of The Philosopher's Joke; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
Myself
A word that appears in the opening chapter of The Philosopher's Joke; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.