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The Worst Joke in the World
The Worst Joke in the World

Chapter I

Chapter 1 of The Worst Joke in the World is here in full — 593 sentences across 119 reading sections, with audio for every sentence and word.

Cover illustration for The Worst Joke in the World
Context Illustration Reading 1/118 · 5 lines
English subtitles · tap any word to listen 1 / 5
The Worst Joke in the World Mrs. Champney was putting the very last things into her bag, and Mrs. Maxwell and Mrs. Deane sat watching her.
The room in which she had lived for nearly four years was already strange and unfamiliar.
The silver toilet articles were gone from the bureau.
The cupboard door stood open, showing empty hooks and shelves.
The little water colors of Italian scenes had vanished from the walls, and the books from the table.
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AI-generated narration by OpenAI · Slow US English
LEARNER DICTIONARY
Archivist
/ˈɑːrkɪvɪst/
Editorial verification pending

A keeper or guardian of historical records and memories.

The Worst Joke in the World

Chapter I

Chapter 1 of The Worst Joke in the World is here in full — 593 sentences across 119 reading sections, with audio for every sentence and word.

Reading 1/118 · 5 reading units · Lines 1–5

Line 1
The Worst Joke in the World Mrs. Champney was putting the very last things into her bag, and Mrs. Maxwell and Mrs. Deane sat watching her.
Line 2
The room in which she had lived for nearly four years was already strange and unfamiliar.
/ðə ruːm ɪn wɪtʃ ʃiː hæd lɪvd fɔːr ˈnɪrli fɔːr jɪrz wɑːz ɔːlˈredi streɪndʒ ənd ˌʌnfəˈmɪljər/
Line 3
The silver toilet articles were gone from the bureau.
/ðə ˈsɪlvər ˈtɔɪlət ˈɑːrtəkəlz wɜːr ɡɔːn frʌm ðə ˈbjʊroʊ/
Line 4
The cupboard door stood open, showing empty hooks and shelves.
/ðə ˈkʌbərd dɔːr stʊd ˈoʊ.pən ˈʃoʊɪŋ ˈempti hʊks ənd ʃelvz/
Line 5
The little water colors of Italian scenes had vanished from the walls, and the books from the table.
/ðə ˈlɪtəl ˈwɔːtər ˈkʌlərz ʌv ˌɪˈtæljən siːnz hæd ˈvænɪʃt frʌm ðə wɔːlz ənd ðə bʊks frʌm ðə ˈteɪbəl/

Learner Dictionary

These definitions explain words found in the current reading and keep every example grounded in its original sentence.

Oxford-style entry order: headword, part of speech, US IPA, concise definition, contextual example, and audio.

bureau noun US /ˈbjʊroʊ/

an administrative unit of government

From this reading “The silver toilet articles were gone from the bureau.”

colors noun US /ˈkʌlərz/

a flag that shows its nationality

From this reading “The little water colors of Italian scenes had vanished from the walls, and the books from the table.”

cupboard noun US /ˈkʌbərd/

a small room (or recess) or cabinet used for storage space

From this reading “The cupboard door stood open, showing empty hooks and shelves.”

hooks noun US /hʊks/

large strong hand (as of a fighter)

From this reading “The cupboard door stood open, showing empty hooks and shelves.”

Maxwell noun US /ˈmækswel/

a cgs unit of magnetic flux equal to the flux perpendicular to an area of 1 square centimeter in a magnetic field of 1 gauss

From this reading “The Worst Joke in the World Mrs. Champney was putting the very last things into her bag, and Mrs. Maxwell and Mrs. Deane sat watching her.”

shelves noun US /ʃelvz/

Plural of shelf; the vast wooden or stone structures holding archives.

From this reading “The cupboard door stood open, showing empty hooks and shelves.”

toilet noun US /ˈtɔɪlət/

a room or building equipped with one or more toilets

From this reading “The silver toilet articles were gone from the bureau.”

unfamiliar adjective US /ˌʌnfəˈmɪljər/

not known or well known

From this reading “The room in which she had lived for nearly four years was already strange and unfamiliar.”

Word partnerships in these lines

English keeps certain words together, and knowing the pair is worth more than knowing each word alone. Every partnership below was counted across our whole published library, and earns its place by appearing far more often than two unrelated words of the same frequency would.

Shown as this reading writes them, with the form the library counts, what kind of pairing it is, and how often it occurs.

toilet articles noun + noun counted as “toilet article”

In this reading “The silver toilet articles were gone from the bureau.”

four years noun + noun

In this reading “The room in which she had lived for nearly four years was already strange and unfamiliar.”

sat watching noun + noun

In this reading “The Worst Joke in the World Mrs. Champney was putting the very last things into her bag, and Mrs. Maxwell and Mrs. Deane sat watching her.”

cupboard door noun + noun

In this reading “The cupboard door stood open, showing empty hooks and shelves.”

in the World preposition + article + noun counted as “in … world”

In this reading “The Worst Joke in the World Mrs. Champney was putting the very last things into her bag, and Mrs. Maxwell and Mrs. Deane sat watching her.”

from the table preposition + article + noun counted as “from … table”

In this reading “The little water colors of Italian scenes had vanished from the walls, and the books from the table.”

for nearly preposition + adverb

In this reading “The room in which she had lived for nearly four years was already strange and unfamiliar.”

All words in this reading · 57

Every word in these five lines is listed here, and every one of them can be played on its own.

Dictionary details are shown only when verified; these are not licensed Oxford entries.

alreadyadverbUS /ɔːlˈredi/

prior to a specified or implied time

From this reading The room in which she had lived for nearly four years was already strange and unfamiliar.

andconjunctionUS /ənd/

used to join words or parts of a sentence that go together

From this reading The Worst Joke in the World Mrs. Champney was putting the very last things into her bag, and Mrs. Maxwell and Mrs. Deane sat watching her.

articlesnounUS /ˈɑːrtəkəlz/

plural of “article” — nonfictional prose forming an independent part of a publication

From this reading The silver toilet articles were gone from the bureau.

bagnounUS /bæɡ/

a flexible container with a single opening

From this reading The Worst Joke in the World Mrs. Champney was putting the very last things into her bag, and Mrs. Maxwell and Mrs. Deane sat watching her.

booksnounUS /bʊks/

Bound written or printed works.

From this reading The little water colors of Italian scenes had vanished from the walls, and the books from the table.

bureaunounUS /ˈbjʊroʊ/

an administrative unit of government

From this reading The silver toilet articles were gone from the bureau.

Champney

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading The Worst Joke in the World Mrs. Champney was putting the very last things into her bag, and Mrs. Maxwell and Mrs. Deane sat watching her.

colorsnounUS /ˈkʌlərz/

a flag that shows its nationality

From this reading The little water colors of Italian scenes had vanished from the walls, and the books from the table.

cupboardnounUS /ˈkʌbərd/

a small room (or recess) or cabinet used for storage space

From this reading The cupboard door stood open, showing empty hooks and shelves.

Deane

Dictionary entry pending editorial verification. Tap Listen to hear the word.

From this reading The Worst Joke in the World Mrs. Champney was putting the very last things into her bag, and Mrs. Maxwell and Mrs. Deane sat watching her.

doornounUS /dɔːr/

a swinging or sliding barrier that will close the entrance to a room or building or vehicle

From this reading The cupboard door stood open, showing empty hooks and shelves.

emptyverbUS /ˈempti/

make void or empty of contents

From this reading The cupboard door stood open, showing empty hooks and shelves.

forprepositionUS /fɔːr/

intended to be given to, or used by, somebody

From this reading The room in which she had lived for nearly four years was already strange and unfamiliar.

fournounUS /fɔːr/

the cardinal number that is the sum of three and one

From this reading The room in which she had lived for nearly four years was already strange and unfamiliar.

fromprepositionUS /frʌm/

showing where something starts, or who sent it

From this reading The silver toilet articles were gone from the bureau.

goneadjectiveUS /ɡɔːn/

destroyed or killed

From this reading The silver toilet articles were gone from the bureau.

hadauxiliary verbUS /hæd/

the past form of “have”, used to form the past perfect

From this reading The room in which she had lived for nearly four years was already strange and unfamiliar.

herdeterminerUS /hɜːr/

belonging to a woman, girl, or female animal already mentioned

From this reading The Worst Joke in the World Mrs. Champney was putting the very last things into her bag, and Mrs. Maxwell and Mrs. Deane sat watching her.

hooksnounUS /hʊks/

large strong hand (as of a fighter)

From this reading The cupboard door stood open, showing empty hooks and shelves.

inprepositionUS /ɪn/

inside something, or within a place, period, or state

From this reading The Worst Joke in the World Mrs. Champney was putting the very last things into her bag, and Mrs. Maxwell and Mrs. Deane sat watching her.

intoprepositionUS /ˈɪntuː/

moving to the inside of something

From this reading The Worst Joke in the World Mrs. Champney was putting the very last things into her bag, and Mrs. Maxwell and Mrs. Deane sat watching her.

ItaliannounUS /ˌɪˈtæljən/

a native or inhabitant of Italy

From this reading The little water colors of Italian scenes had vanished from the walls, and the books from the table.

JokenounUS /dʒoʊk/

a humorous anecdote or remark intended to provoke laughter

From this reading The Worst Joke in the World Mrs. Champney was putting the very last things into her bag, and Mrs. Maxwell and Mrs. Deane sat watching her.

lastadjectiveUS /læst/

immediately past

From this reading The Worst Joke in the World Mrs. Champney was putting the very last things into her bag, and Mrs. Maxwell and Mrs. Deane sat watching her.

littleadjectiveUS /ˈlɪtəl/

limited or below average in number or quantity or magnitude or extent

From this reading The little water colors of Italian scenes had vanished from the walls, and the books from the table.

livedverbUS /lɪvd/

past form of “live” — be an inhabitant of or reside in

From this reading The room in which she had lived for nearly four years was already strange and unfamiliar.

MaxwellnounUS /ˈmækswel/

a cgs unit of magnetic flux equal to the flux perpendicular to an area of 1 square centimeter in a magnetic field of 1 gauss

From this reading The Worst Joke in the World Mrs. Champney was putting the very last things into her bag, and Mrs. Maxwell and Mrs. Deane sat watching her.

MrsnounUS /ˈmɪsɪz/

a form of address for a married woman

From this reading The Worst Joke in the World Mrs. Champney was putting the very last things into her bag, and Mrs. Maxwell and Mrs. Deane sat watching her.

nearlyadverbUS /ˈnɪrli/

(of actions or states) slightly short of or not quite accomplished; all but

From this reading The room in which she had lived for nearly four years was already strange and unfamiliar.

ofprepositionUS /ʌv/

belonging to, or connected with, somebody or something

From this reading The little water colors of Italian scenes had vanished from the walls, and the books from the table.

openverbUS /ˈoʊ.pən/

To move from a closed position.

From this reading The cupboard door stood open, showing empty hooks and shelves.

puttingnounUS /ˈpʌtɪŋ/

hitting a golf ball that is on the green using a putter

From this reading The Worst Joke in the World Mrs. Champney was putting the very last things into her bag, and Mrs. Maxwell and Mrs. Deane sat watching her.

roomnounUS /ruːm/

an area within a building enclosed by walls and floor and ceiling

From this reading The room in which she had lived for nearly four years was already strange and unfamiliar.

satnounUS /sæt/

the seventh and last day of the week; observed as the Sabbath by Jews and some Christians

From this reading The Worst Joke in the World Mrs. Champney was putting the very last things into her bag, and Mrs. Maxwell and Mrs. Deane sat watching her.

scenesnounUS /siːnz/

plural of “scene” — the place where some action occurs

From this reading The little water colors of Italian scenes had vanished from the walls, and the books from the table.

shepronounUS /ʃiː/

a woman, girl, or female animal already mentioned, as the subject

From this reading The room in which she had lived for nearly four years was already strange and unfamiliar.

shelvesnounUS /ʃelvz/

Plural of shelf; the vast wooden or stone structures holding archives.

From this reading The cupboard door stood open, showing empty hooks and shelves.

showingnounUS /ˈʃoʊɪŋ/

the display of a motion picture

From this reading The cupboard door stood open, showing empty hooks and shelves.

silvernounUS /ˈsɪlvər/

a soft white precious univalent metallic element having the highest electrical and thermal conductivity of any metal; occurs in argentite and in free form; used in coins and jewelry and tableware and photography

From this reading The silver toilet articles were gone from the bureau.

stoodverbUS /stʊd/

Maintained an upright posture.

From this reading The cupboard door stood open, showing empty hooks and shelves.

strangeadjectiveUS /streɪndʒ/

being definitely out of the ordinary and unexpected; slightly odd or even a bit weird

From this reading The room in which she had lived for nearly four years was already strange and unfamiliar.

tablenounUS /ˈteɪbəl/

a set of data arranged in rows and columns

From this reading The little water colors of Italian scenes had vanished from the walls, and the books from the table.

ThedeterminerUS /ðə/

used before a noun that is already known, already mentioned, or the only one of its kind

From this reading The Worst Joke in the World Mrs. Champney was putting the very last things into her bag, and Mrs. Maxwell and Mrs. Deane sat watching her.

thingsnounUS /θɪŋz/

any movable possession (especially articles of clothing)

From this reading The Worst Joke in the World Mrs. Champney was putting the very last things into her bag, and Mrs. Maxwell and Mrs. Deane sat watching her.

toiletnounUS /ˈtɔɪlət/

a room or building equipped with one or more toilets

From this reading The silver toilet articles were gone from the bureau.

unfamiliaradjectiveUS /ˌʌnfəˈmɪljər/

not known or well known

From this reading The room in which she had lived for nearly four years was already strange and unfamiliar.

vanishedadjectiveUS /ˈvænɪʃt/

having passed out of existence

From this reading The little water colors of Italian scenes had vanished from the walls, and the books from the table.

veryadjectiveUS /ˈveri/

precisely as stated

From this reading The Worst Joke in the World Mrs. Champney was putting the very last things into her bag, and Mrs. Maxwell and Mrs. Deane sat watching her.

wallsnounUS /wɔːlz/

plural of “wall” — an architectural partition with a height and length greater than its thickness; used to divide or enclose an area or to support another structure

From this reading The little water colors of Italian scenes had vanished from the walls, and the books from the table.

wasauxiliary verbUS /wɑːz/

the past form of “be” used with I, he, she, it, or a singular noun

From this reading The Worst Joke in the World Mrs. Champney was putting the very last things into her bag, and Mrs. Maxwell and Mrs. Deane sat watching her.

watchingnounUS /ˈwɑːtʃɪŋ/

the act of observing; taking a patient look

From this reading The Worst Joke in the World Mrs. Champney was putting the very last things into her bag, and Mrs. Maxwell and Mrs. Deane sat watching her.

waternounUS /ˈwɔːtər/

binary compound that occurs at room temperature as a clear colorless odorless tasteless liquid; freezes into ice below 0 degrees centigrade and boils above 100 degrees centigrade; widely used as a solvent

From this reading The little water colors of Italian scenes had vanished from the walls, and the books from the table.

wereauxiliary verbUS /wɜːr/

the past form of “be” used with you, we, they, or a plural noun

From this reading The silver toilet articles were gone from the bureau.

whichpronounUS /wɪtʃ/

used to introduce a clause giving more about a thing just mentioned

From this reading The room in which she had lived for nearly four years was already strange and unfamiliar.

WorldnounUS /wɜːrld/

everything that exists anywhere

From this reading The Worst Joke in the World Mrs. Champney was putting the very last things into her bag, and Mrs. Maxwell and Mrs. Deane sat watching her.

WorstnounUS /wɜːrst/

the least favorable outcome

From this reading The Worst Joke in the World Mrs. Champney was putting the very last things into her bag, and Mrs. Maxwell and Mrs. Deane sat watching her.

yearsnounUS /jɪrz/

a late time of life

From this reading The room in which she had lived for nearly four years was already strange and unfamiliar.

Chapter 1 of The Worst Joke in the World by Elisabeth Sanxay Holding holds 593 sentences, grouped into 119 reading sections of at most 5 sentences. The text is the source edition, unabridged, and the chapter records which sentences cover which part of the work so that nothing is dropped. Every word can be tapped for its pronunciation and dictionary entry.

What does chapter 1 of The Worst Joke in the World contain?

Chapter 1 holds 593 sentences of The Worst Joke in the World, unabridged, divided into 119 reading sections.

This page carries chapter 1 of The Worst Joke in the World by Elisabeth Sanxay Holding exactly as it stands in the source edition, without abridgement. It runs to 593 sentences, grouped into 119 sections of at most 5 sentences so that a reader can take the chapter in steady, finishable pieces. The chapter also stores a coverage record mapping every one of its sentences to a part of the work, which is how the edition demonstrates that no line was dropped.

How do I study chapter 1 of The Worst Joke in the World?

Work through the 119 sections in order, replaying any sentence and tapping unfamiliar words for their entries.

Each of the 119 sections in this chapter is short enough to read once, hear once, and then re-read with the vocabulary in view. Tapping a word plays it alone and opens its dictionary entry with IPA, part of speech and meaning, so the reader is never forced to guess a pronunciation from spelling. Working section by section keeps a long chapter from becoming an undifferentiated wall of text, which is the usual reason a reader abandons a work of this period.

Can chapter 1 be read aloud to me?

Yes — every sentence and every individual word in chapter 1 can be played aloud in United States English.

Audio covers the whole chapter: any sentence can be played, and any single word within it can be played on its own. The voice uses United States English. For a work of this period that matters, because spelling is an unreliable guide to pronunciation for vocabulary that has fallen out of daily use, and a learner who guesses wrong tends to keep the error. Hearing the word in its own sentence, and then alone, settles it.

Questions about reading The Worst Joke in the World

Common questions about reading The Worst Joke in the World by Elisabeth Sanxay Holding on this page, its source edition and its audio.

Is this the complete text of The Worst Joke in the World?

Yes. All 593 sentences of Project Gutenberg eBook #67373 are kept, with a record of which sentences cover which part.

Which edition of The Worst Joke in the World is used?

Project Gutenberg eBook #67373, unabridged. The Project Gutenberg header, footer and licence are removed.

How long does The Worst Joke in the World take to read?

About 49 minutes of reading across 119 sections of 5 sentences each, at an unhurried pace.

How to read The Worst Joke in the World section by section

How to work through The Worst Joke in the World section by section, using the audio and the tap-to-define vocabulary.

  1. Open a chapter

    Choose one of the 1 chapters of The Worst Joke in the World to begin.

  2. Read one section

    Each section holds 5 sentences; read it once through.

  3. Listen and tap

    Play the section aloud, then tap any unfamiliar word for its entry.

Vocabulary met early in The Worst Joke in the World

Words and structures a reader meets early in The Worst Joke in the World, each tappable for pronunciation and meaning.

Worst
A word that appears in the opening chapter of The Worst Joke in the World; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
World
A word that appears in the opening chapter of The Worst Joke in the World; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
Champney
A word that appears in the opening chapter of The Worst Joke in the World; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.
Putting
A word that appears in the opening chapter of The Worst Joke in the World; the reader can tap it to hear it and see its dictionary entry.